All Comments on 'My Stepmother, My Fuck Toy'

Fuckin poorly written-Fuckin awful

As earlier comments, badly written, (obviously by a 14yo). The stepmother alternately calls him Robbie and Jason - come on, pay attention to your own "writing". Better yet, pay attention to these comments, and never write again! (My lawyers will be in touch about getting back the five minutes I wasted reading your garbage)

What a stupid story,waste of eyesight.

What a waste of time reading this. The author needs help if he/she thinks that this is fun and exciting to read.

The more people know something that's being used for blackmail the greater the odds it won't be secret for long. His friends know. If he can get the DVD odd are others can get it, too.

If this was meant to be a work of art I guess it wouldn't be posted here. Did he care if she was found out? I don't think so! Keep writing and keep improving. The story was a good re-hash of an old theme. Hollywood does that all the time so why worry. Your style was bold without the wishy washy detail, who needs it, just get down to it.

Nowhere near as bad as some of the other comments say.

Yes, the biggest problem was Cindi calling him 2 different

names. That was very sloppy. Some of the dialog from

the stepmother during the sex, like commenting on how big his dick is or telling him where to put his finger, seemed out of place. I'd think she's be too ashamed @ that point to talk about stuff like that.

And I also thought that gathering all his friends together to gangbang her happened a little too soon. If anything, that should've been in the 2nd or 3rd chapter of this story,

if you were going to make it a series. This 1st story should've just been about him & his stepmother, maybe taking place over a couple of months as he kept blackmailing her to fuck him whenever he wanted, & she eventually gets used to it. And that's when he decides to go even further by sharing her with his friends.

So, unlike some others, I wouldn't suggest you give up. I think you've got some raw talent, so please try again. That's the only way to improve.

For some better examples of stories with this theme, check out Stepmom's Punishment Ch. 1 & 2 by PAS & Family Lessons Ch. 1-8 (especially the last chapter) by GeorgeTasker. Both deal with guys who end up blackmailing their stepmothers. And there's Extortion by G. H. Lawrence which is a about a son and his mother. Reading these may give you some hints on how to structure your stories in the future.

This is unquestionably the WORST story that literotica has ever published on this site. Talk about a waste of time...cant believe I read the whole story...but guess I was hoping for a spark of realism that never ever happened. I think this writer, and I use that term lightly, should go back to comic books and write for them, because he certainly has no clue of how to write for this forum. WHAT A WASTE!!!

never mind the comments. for sure the background could have been better what he had suffered so far. and that he maybe had done some more research about her past activities. showing what slut she really is...

but in the end if you do better next time with maybe more details about the sexscenes ... I just have to say: a revenge story is a revenge story

PS: maybe even writing a better part 2 ?

There was nothing intelligent, erotic or honest about this story. In knowing what porn stars are, I know this chump kid would have got his cock broken by this woman and then she would have contacted some of the apes from the old business who would have put the jerk in a coma leaving her sole heir.

This was badly written Jason and or Robbie.

Get therapy and throw away your word processor.

Yes, you need help. I only read the first half page or so, couldn't find the interest to go on, however ... 1. It should have been in NonConsent/Reluctance. Accurate categorisation will improve your scores (people don't read what they don't like - and when they read what they don't like, they score it down). 2. Get an editor. You need help with your basic story construction. I note this is your first story, don't give up!

To be short, the writer obviously has issues and needs help before they do something harmful to somebody else. This was a hardcore rape / humilation piece without much, if any, good qualities. I would recommend pyschiatric counseling.

He would be better of with a blow up rubber doll,they are on special offer at the moment,for numbskulls on their autumn holidays

The idea of shagging your stepmother is material for a good story ,the way it was told here was really daft.

Obscene and disgusting

if you got a good thing,keep it for yourself.stupid to put more people in the mix.

Don't worry man..you're not the only one that that likes it rougher and nastier than most of the pansies on this site. Loved it when she begged for lube...hot stuff. Look forward to reading more soon.

Don't forget to use commas, as in "Suck my dick, (comma) cunt!!" A very boring story.

Kids like you get chewed up and spat out, you are probably some pimply faced loser kid who can't get a shag even from a manky chick so you have to try to make yourself out be some kind of stud in this absolutely hopeless fictional story. If you even knew what pornstars are like you would try to write something atleast half decent

How do you fuck someone anyway?

i wish my stepmom was in a porn movie.

Couldn't get past the "Shittunnel" reference.

Even though its fiction, the boy was getting cruel. Never have cared for cruelty.

OMFG yes I wish my son would do this with me. should I let him find some nude pics of me ? maybe he will blackmail me into his cum toy. Vanessa

Dear vanessa. Your Son is lucky to have a mother like you. I was your Son you would be my toy by now 😉. If you wanna contact me let me know i know we can find a way

Decent story no hate but did he even cum or did I miss that part? Need more of her suffering and humiliation