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Twin Summer Ch. 03

byjane700bond©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous12/24/07

Great

Was great, loved all of them.

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by caprine01/02/08

Loved...

your story again. Hot action, but with a couple of not so good word choices. Like some others, I tend to prefer longer stories with more description, character development, and more plot involvment. But these quick, short-short stories are popular with others. Keep writing, one gets better with practice. And that's an example of another thing. It's bad form to say: "You try riding a bike with... The author should use the word "one" instead of "you" as I just did above. You could also have worded that something like: If you think riding a bike with a hard on... if you wanted to keep "you" in the dialogue. Regards, caprine

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