All Comments on 'Just What They Wanted'

Really liked the easy going relationship between these two. I thought it was a little unrealistic how many time she came, especially compared to her brother, though. Good writing - and I only found one typo not caught...a plus in my book. Would like to "see" more of them.

Some typos's were for where and lack of a "s" at the end of pillow on one sentence. But a good strong story. Need to know the why of the break up of her and Craig though.

What else could one expect from the master but a tale to treasure. Well... maybe not really a treasure but not bad. Could have used a ending to the ending but otherwise... Give up hope all ye who lust after last.. I'm afraind I have to 5 bomb ya. DP

Dude, you just changed one of your old stories around, why? Your a good writer, I'm sure you could have written a great one for the Xmas submittion.

You have a good memory, Anon, but not great. This is a rewrite of the Randi Comes Home series I posted back in the summer of 2004. After a major rewrite of my second novel, I was drained and wanted to work on something fun. Incest seldom does well in these contests, so there's little rish of me taking prize money from writers with originality.

That said, I promise on a stack of Victoria's Secret catalogs that my entry in the next contest will be brank spanking new, honest.

Thanks to all of you for leaving a comment.

It may be a rework but it is very hot! Well done Rev. !

While incest/taboo isn't my usual haunt, I liked this story. It was smokin'! Thank you, Rumple.

Loved your XMAS incest tale. Rewrite or not, it was a really good tale. Thanks for sharing it.

Incest isn't really my thing, but this story blows the lid off the popcorn popper! Well done, Uncle Rumply. Good luck in the contest!

The story was fantastico.

It just had a shitty ending.

dude everyone has problems on dialogue...I have no idea why when I read through this I had skip through most of it. Proof read it or something...Its like hick with foggy glasses wrote this.

Anyway if your fingering yourself...and writing well stop and write with both hands man. Jeez So mom doesn't call up to check on them...there no phones? You don't even have event that happens...like sister has conscious besides her need to feel horny?

Both them being single? Kind of crappy story. I have say if you could make it up maybe? I mean chances brother being Athletic star? 0 on that...and Sister what was she homecoming queen a nerd what was she? All you gave description she had big boobs and I can't visualize it I can visualize a geeky sister that blossoms into big boob horny nymph who has to mount anything with dick...and nuggets.

Lets see, anything that would describe anything else there was winter storm...so ultimate lockdown. Yeah sure that nice thing half people are using ship wreck, hurricane and wizard attacks or necromancer...last time I checked this very origional.

Question: Was it a Real Story?

dragonheart_1893@yahoo.com

of the writing but who can't make a readable comment

This story is too long.

it would really be great doing it i mean. i'd love to give it a try sometime

That was hands down one of the top ten I've ever read. Keep writing !!!

This story is just what I wanted I realize I'm late to reply but damn that was good. This is a long story, but you don't have to cut it down because you kept people reading [if anything I'd cut out the store scene] or take the ending back home to reveal the real reason she broke up with Craig. As for dialogue, the poster above is a whiny brat if they didn't like it. sure it wasn't full on real, but no dialogue is [dialogue takes the reality and warps ist a bit]. Te way you wrote, was exsquisite! You could have been in 3rd person omni or 3rd person limited while switching POV's in either case you realized what would work for the story. And let me Tell you it was HOT... the description, my God was just wooow... Is it od that she climaxed sooo many times and so much more than him yes but you made it clear that he had unnatural abilities at sex and that she was a very sexual women in desperate need, so its not an issue... For the first time I'm trully impressed with an erotica story. I never comment but I had to praise the author of this one... Both as a very turned on reader, and a writer myself ;)

i wish writers would stop getting friends and family to fill the comments area with rave reviews on a SUBPAR story that needed major work before it was posted. this is no more than a first draft that needs a good editing by a GOOD WRITER that knows what they are doing.

I like how sis is so turned on by her brother's fine bod, especially what he's got swinging between his legs. Naturally, the brother's always been interested in his sis's adorable little coochie and he's had an idea of what would look real good jammed up her cute little cunt. The boy sticks his fine fat cock up his sister's sweet little twat, fucks the shit out of her, and blows his brotherly balls up inside her. In his sister's twat is where a brother's creamy semen belongs.

That sums it up. I usually like stories with more build up, but this was great fodder for masturbation.

Kelly is a skank slut. any poor bastard making the mistake of marrying that sorry cunt will get a cheating whore...

"the sensitive skin beneath her pubs,"

Her pubs? Unless she owns several bars I think you mean pubes.

If you can't spell pubes properly why are you writing erotica and why

am I reading your story?

Decent enough story but the amount of spelling mistakes were just too irritating to continue reading it all.

I agree what are pubs besides bars in merry old England?

... it wasn't a bad story.

Could've been a bit better, but it was descriptive, the sex was pretty hot, but the love between them was even better.

Do some better spellchecking, or get a new/better editor.

Do NOT give up writing, whatever you do.

"Just What They Wanted:" - Eighteen Year Old Virile Brother, Jason Layton and Twenty Year Old Ever-horny Sister, Kelly Layton.

Fist, I really, thrilling, absolutely and honestly love this story. The writing is easy, smooth, almost like a parent reading an appropriate-age bedtime story to their child. In the end, my imagination wonders how the future for this lovingly, in-love sibling brother and sister. The non-pregnancy aspect of the story was not discussed, suggested nor divulged.

There are several questions that linger in my exotic, incest loving mind. First is a question of no importance to the story, but why did Jason refer to 'her' (Kelly's) stepfather, rather than to 'their' stepfather? Also, why was there never any mention of their mother? Just asking.

More importantly, and in particular to me, being that I'm not only a gigantic incest themed fan of blood-kin incest, but also I am gravely enamored with the female portion of the incestuous couple being impregnated. In turn my question is, why was there not one iota of protection discussed? An occurring pregnancy, it seems to me, should be a consideration of any story...where the physical act of sexual penetration is incorporated.

I was so impressed by the writing of the author, 'Rumple Foreskin' that I DID read the story, rather than scanning the story, looking for any discussion about Kelly being impregnated.....or about her not getting pregnant; even many times the "tags" are not correct!. The pregnancy (not occurring) factor was the determining reason I did score this story with four (4) Stars, rather than what COULD have been five (5) Stars. Great writing though!!

Why is it her stepdad and not their stepdad ???? Also why did you end it without her answering the question fully,,, I understand mom is at her sisters house but she doesn’t call and check on the kids and the store ???

An it being Christmas timeframe ,,, mom is silent,,,, so does this continue on to love between them or a one and done thingy type