Great Story! Keep it Going! Not too long for sure!
by
Anonymous01/04/08
Spell Check?
Starring? C'mon. It's 'Staring'. He was staring at his mom. Not starring!
by
Anonymous01/04/08
get don into the ac tion with ryan
make your story different from so many others..and get don into action with ryan...having dad/mom/son all sharing each other is what total family fun is all about...and hopefully amanda will take charge and have her hubby and son get into some hot bi with her directing the action
Nice idea and well done. im glad he got away with it. and you made it plausible that he would. good plan. too bad some of the others penalized you so much for spelling errors. I would give you the benefit of not proof-reading. so you have laid the groundwork for some more very nicely. looking forward to the next installments. is there some implication that she knew but was drunk enough not to push her suspicion that it was not her husband in the bed?
Sorry for the spelling guys. I hate it myself when I'm reading other stories because it takes you out of the moment. I really wrote this one in about three hours on and off. I rushed it, I apologize. I've got another story coming up in the next day or so. It's probably got errors in it to. The only thing I can do is try to be more careful. On a lighter note, I've been gone a while and it's good to be back.
by
Anonymous01/05/08
Great stuff
you shouldn't listen to complaints about spelling. I thought it was well written. i think it would be hot if mommy was left alone for the day and decided to call up her new friend.
by
Anonymous01/05/08
Good Pace
I'd love to see Ryan take his mother's ass for a night. A little anal never killed anyone. ;-)
If spelling is not your thing, use the spell check in Word.
by
Anonymous01/05/08
Spell Check has been around for YEARS ! ! !
by
Anonymous01/05/08
Nice job. Looking forward to future chapters!
Nice work!!! Liked the build-up and story line (Family Nightmare was my favorite of yours). Looking forward to more chapters of the Wrong Room. Keep building up the description of the hot mother and what she wears. Perhaps, in future chapters, Amanda and Ryan could spend some time at the pool together while dad spends the day in the casino. Love to hear how Ryan gets a chance to rub some tanning oil on her in her little white bikini and high heels. Maybe he could convince her to enter a bikini/hot body contest (remember what happens in Vegas stays.....). Ryan's pool volleyball friends might even secretly watch the show. Maybe the sexy MILF, with Ryan to help her, will go shopping for a day for some sexy lingerie, mini dresses and high heels to excite her husband. I can only hope that she'll go to Ryan's room that night and put on a little fashion show for him to see how the outfits, etc. fit :-)
by
Anonymous01/06/08
More Please!
Okay, ... I'm a stickler for spelling and grammar, ... but sometimes you just overlook the minute errors!!
I read one story where it was going from first person narrative in one paragraph, to third person narrative in the next! And what about a story you're reading where someones name is, say, Mary, throughout most of the story, but it changes to, say, Debbie, in a part of the story?? It leaves you wondereing what the author is/was thinking/doing!!
Anyhow, back to this story, ... FINISH THE STORY!!!
Does the kid impregnate mom?? Does she fuck Chris? (In a way I hope not!! Maybe her son finds Chris' cell number and tosses it? Or, for a twist, mom calls the number and her son, unbeknownst to her, answers it because Chris left it by the pool when he went to get a drink, and she tells him how horny she is and wants to fuck him!?!? So, they meet at the bar, ... but as Chris never got the message, her son shows up and they drink and dance, and she gets pissed drunk and he takes her home and fucks her brains out!?!?)
by
Anonymous01/06/08
spellcheck & more /good/ description needed
You are good. But you need to work on your words. Your story have no peak-point, just flat. & thats bad.
For a great story writing experience just check & follow stories like "Summer Camp" or "Erin " from Summer Camp
http://www.literotica.com/stories/stories_by _category.php?category=9&page=168 .
by
Anonymous01/08/08
Bitch Bitch Bitch
Man, some people are never satisfied. Spell check! Work on this! Work on that! Fuck 'em! Yeah, this story could use a little work, but none of us are perfect. Keep practicing, listen to the constructive criticism, and feed off of the mean shit. Everybody has a gripe, and there are a million suggestions. Sometimes you get good ideas from them; sometimes you don't. The bottom line is this: It's YOUR story. Do what you want to do and give up on trying to please everyone. You don't have to apologize for anything! Personally, I don't think a misspelled wrod is such a disaster. Case in point: You knew what WORD I was going for right?
In conclusion, I'd like to point out that "starring" and "staring" are both words that spellcheck recognizes, so it wouldn't do any to spell check it, now would it? Oh yeah, I'd also like to add this little gem: If reading a story with misspelled words pisses you off that much while you are spanking your little monkey, then maybe you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to be in a GOOD mood during masturbation.
by
Anonymous01/10/08
NICE!
Not too bad for a story.
It has a pretty decent start. I would
love to see what happens next & how this story unfolds.
Keep up the good work & to hell with all the cry babies
of a critic.
by
Anonymous01/10/08
Great story
more please :-)
by
Anonymous01/29/08
nice good read
Very good. I really liked the whole chris factor. Please write more. I would like to see where that goes if anywhere.
by
Anonymous01/30/08
great story
hope you will add more .
love to know what happen the rest of the week.
by
Anonymous02/09/08
Loved it!
Please write the second part to this story soon!
by
Anonymous03/01/08
good
more please
by
Anonymous03/22/08
More Please
MMMMmmmmm yes please send us more of this story. What happens next. love the panties,,,,,,,,please give more action on the panties and mom begin to see her son too
I really liked that story it was realistic and fantasy at the same time I didn't even knotice the spelling error untill I read the comments I really like how you left it open for more but at the sametime the story could end there and you could leave the rest up to the reader I say that all of the OCD spellers out there should not be reading stories on this site b/c there is allways one misspelled word here or there I would also like to add that I can't wait to read your other submissions.
by
Anonymous03/24/08
NICE
We are anticipating the sequel to this story
Can't wait to see how this ends or if it does..
by
Anonymous04/17/08
To be Continued.....
Please continue the story.
by
Anonymous04/20/08
More
Please continue the story
by
Anonymous05/04/08
Please continue this story
I really liked the drunk/unknowing angle of the story, it was very sensual. Please continue the series! :D
by
Anonymous05/20/08
very hot!
More please!!!
Nick
by
Anonymous05/28/08
Ripped off?
This sounds EXACTLY like another story I've read on here in the past, did you re-hash your own story under a new name, or take someone else's, or are all the literotica stories just sounding exactly the same now?
a great story,I hope the son gets to show his mom what he is able to do to her hot pussy.I think that they would be a nice master/slave team,with mom hopelessly lost to the power of her son.Let her show her son that she is all the woman that he will ever need.
by
Anonymous06/11/08
How About!
Dad comes back, kicks his ass and throws them both out of his life and tells them to find thier own way where ever. Uses the money he won to find a real wife, not some stupid incest slut. See how bad jr. is working for 10 bucks a hr.
by
Anonymous09/23/08
Ripped off (Part 2)
It reads almost like "Mom Gets The Wrong Room" with a different ending.
Anonymous 6/11/08: Why do shitheads like you read plainly identified incest stories, and then complain about the incest in them? Is you are a retard?As to the story, it is fab so far. Hope the mum doesn't turn into a slut - that's a turn-off. Got the feeling that's where things are headed, though. I sense DPs and a threesome on the horizon... Too bad.
Hey great story, loved it all. Your use of his fantasy and how you built on it leading to Vegas was great!! Also I agree with the last person, if you are reading an incest story, expect incest!! Any one dumb enough to get mad or irrate about an incest scene really is a dumbass!!
by
Anonymous02/22/09
great story
great story. similar situation with my mom and i. she was drunk and so was i. we went home and i was jacking off in my room and she walked in on me. i told her dancig with her i got horny. she didnt get mad.
by
Anonymous07/17/09
plagerism
you just barely tweaked the story -
theres another story identical cept it was a highschool dork and his couple friends at vegas same scenario n everything
I HAVE A BAD FEELING INCEST IS GOING TO BE AN OPEN HOUSE . NEVER LET A STRANGER INTO THE FAMILY.AND RYAN DID IT, TOO BAD.SOUNDS LIKE THIS STORY WILL NOT END WELL, FOR ANYONE BUT THE STRANGER.................................LAROC OF AGES
My mother was a confirmed alcoholic drinking a case of beer a day - everyday for the last three years of her like. She passed at age thirty eight three days before Christmas, 1950. She didn't care about anything except her beer and her lover. He was a beer drinker too and would come to the house two or three afternoons a week for an hour or so. She sucked his cock and fucked him and drank beer with him.
I came home from school early one afternoon and they were in the living room, she still in her nightgown and with his cock stuffed firmly in her mouth. I quietly backed out and let them continue their fun. With all the beer she drank, her kidneys were terribly weak and she had to piss all the time. I saw her pussy numerous times and even helped her to her chamber pot. I know what ryan is going through with this story.
Keep it Going!
Great Story! Keep it Going! Not too long for sure!
Spell Check?
Starring? C'mon. It's 'Staring'. He was staring at his mom. Not starring!
get don into the ac tion with ryan
make your story different from so many others..and get don into action with ryan...having dad/mom/son all sharing each other is what total family fun is all about...and hopefully amanda will take charge and have her hubby and son get into some hot bi with her directing the action
good story
Nice idea and well done. im glad he got away with it. and you made it plausible that he would. good plan. too bad some of the others penalized you so much for spelling errors. I would give you the benefit of not proof-reading. so you have laid the groundwork for some more very nicely. looking forward to the next installments. is there some implication that she knew but was drunk enough not to push her suspicion that it was not her husband in the bed?
clive
NIce!
I guess we all have the mother fantasy--hot story!
Got Better
As this went on it got better and better,lets see what comes next
Sorry guys.
Sorry for the spelling guys. I hate it myself when I'm reading other stories because it takes you out of the moment. I really wrote this one in about three hours on and off. I rushed it, I apologize. I've got another story coming up in the next day or so. It's probably got errors in it to. The only thing I can do is try to be more careful. On a lighter note, I've been gone a while and it's good to be back.
Great stuff
you shouldn't listen to complaints about spelling. I thought it was well written. i think it would be hot if mommy was left alone for the day and decided to call up her new friend.
Good Pace
I'd love to see Ryan take his mother's ass for a night. A little anal never killed anyone. ;-)
If spelling is not your thing, use the spell check in Word.
Spell Check has been around for YEARS ! ! !
Nice job. Looking forward to future chapters!
Nice work!!! Liked the build-up and story line (Family Nightmare was my favorite of yours). Looking forward to more chapters of the Wrong Room. Keep building up the description of the hot mother and what she wears. Perhaps, in future chapters, Amanda and Ryan could spend some time at the pool together while dad spends the day in the casino. Love to hear how Ryan gets a chance to rub some tanning oil on her in her little white bikini and high heels. Maybe he could convince her to enter a bikini/hot body contest (remember what happens in Vegas stays.....). Ryan's pool volleyball friends might even secretly watch the show. Maybe the sexy MILF, with Ryan to help her, will go shopping for a day for some sexy lingerie, mini dresses and high heels to excite her husband. I can only hope that she'll go to Ryan's room that night and put on a little fashion show for him to see how the outfits, etc. fit :-)
More Please!
Okay, ... I'm a stickler for spelling and grammar, ... but sometimes you just overlook the minute errors!!
I read one story where it was going from first person narrative in one paragraph, to third person narrative in the next! And what about a story you're reading where someones name is, say, Mary, throughout most of the story, but it changes to, say, Debbie, in a part of the story?? It leaves you wondereing what the author is/was thinking/doing!!
Anyhow, back to this story, ... FINISH THE STORY!!!
Does the kid impregnate mom?? Does she fuck Chris? (In a way I hope not!! Maybe her son finds Chris' cell number and tosses it? Or, for a twist, mom calls the number and her son, unbeknownst to her, answers it because Chris left it by the pool when he went to get a drink, and she tells him how horny she is and wants to fuck him!?!? So, they meet at the bar, ... but as Chris never got the message, her son shows up and they drink and dance, and she gets pissed drunk and he takes her home and fucks her brains out!?!?)
spellcheck & more /good/ description needed
You are good. But you need to work on your words. Your story have no peak-point, just flat. & thats bad.
For a great story writing experience just check & follow stories like "Summer Camp" or "Erin " from Summer Camp
http://www.literotica.com/stories/stories_by _category.php?category=9&page=168 .
Bitch Bitch Bitch
Man, some people are never satisfied. Spell check! Work on this! Work on that! Fuck 'em! Yeah, this story could use a little work, but none of us are perfect. Keep practicing, listen to the constructive criticism, and feed off of the mean shit. Everybody has a gripe, and there are a million suggestions. Sometimes you get good ideas from them; sometimes you don't. The bottom line is this: It's YOUR story. Do what you want to do and give up on trying to please everyone. You don't have to apologize for anything! Personally, I don't think a misspelled wrod is such a disaster. Case in point: You knew what WORD I was going for right?
In conclusion, I'd like to point out that "starring" and "staring" are both words that spellcheck recognizes, so it wouldn't do any to spell check it, now would it? Oh yeah, I'd also like to add this little gem: If reading a story with misspelled words pisses you off that much while you are spanking your little monkey, then maybe you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to be in a GOOD mood during masturbation.
NICE!
Not too bad for a story.
It has a pretty decent start. I would
love to see what happens next & how this story unfolds.
Keep up the good work & to hell with all the cry babies
of a critic.
Great story
more please :-)
nice good read
Very good. I really liked the whole chris factor. Please write more. I would like to see where that goes if anywhere.
great story
hope you will add more .
love to know what happen the rest of the week.
Loved it!
Please write the second part to this story soon!
good
more please
More Please
MMMMmmmmm yes please send us more of this story. What happens next. love the panties,,,,,,,,please give more action on the panties and mom begin to see her son too
That Was Really Good
I really liked that story it was realistic and fantasy at the same time I didn't even knotice the spelling error untill I read the comments I really like how you left it open for more but at the sametime the story could end there and you could leave the rest up to the reader I say that all of the OCD spellers out there should not be reading stories on this site b/c there is allways one misspelled word here or there I would also like to add that I can't wait to read your other submissions.
NICE
We are anticipating the sequel to this story
Can't wait to see how this ends or if it does..
To be Continued.....
Please continue the story.
More
Please continue the story
Please continue this story
I really liked the drunk/unknowing angle of the story, it was very sensual. Please continue the series! :D
very hot!
More please!!!
Nick
Ripped off?
This sounds EXACTLY like another story I've read on here in the past, did you re-hash your own story under a new name, or take someone else's, or are all the literotica stories just sounding exactly the same now?
superb. the best of best
cant wait to read next episode.
Liked it
it has a great plot, and id like to see the rest.
real hot story line
a great story,I hope the son gets to show his mom what he is able to do to her hot pussy.I think that they would be a nice master/slave team,with mom hopelessly lost to the power of her son.Let her show her son that she is all the woman that he will ever need.
How About!
Dad comes back, kicks his ass and throws them both out of his life and tells them to find thier own way where ever. Uses the money he won to find a real wife, not some stupid incest slut. See how bad jr. is working for 10 bucks a hr.
Ripped off (Part 2)
It reads almost like "Mom Gets The Wrong Room" with a different ending.
Great story so far -
Anonymous 6/11/08: Why do shitheads like you read plainly identified incest stories, and then complain about the incest in them? Is you are a retard?As to the story, it is fab so far. Hope the mum doesn't turn into a slut - that's a turn-off. Got the feeling that's where things are headed, though. I sense DPs and a threesome on the horizon... Too bad.
Great story!!
Hey great story, loved it all. Your use of his fantasy and how you built on it leading to Vegas was great!! Also I agree with the last person, if you are reading an incest story, expect incest!! Any one dumb enough to get mad or irrate about an incest scene really is a dumbass!!
great story
great story. similar situation with my mom and i. she was drunk and so was i. we went home and i was jacking off in my room and she walked in on me. i told her dancig with her i got horny. she didnt get mad.
plagerism
you just barely tweaked the story -
theres another story identical cept it was a highschool dork and his couple friends at vegas same scenario n everything
very nice!
Great Series!
I read all 3 parts, and you're an excellent story teller. Thanks for all your effort!
Nice
Check your spelling please. Put some fur on Moms pussy and tell us all about it.
Very nice
Really enjoying your writing style and the story lines. Nice story to tuck myself in with.
Very nice
Excellent story writing definently one of my favorites :) keep up the good work!
Nice!
This is a good one! I love the sneaky aspect of it, but by far I like the hot sex scene!
Great story
I really enjoyed this one.
I guess it'd be one of my favorites.
You've got to keep writing about this
Just one thing....
Love the story, but as you continue, please don't ruin it by letting her cheat on her husband with anyone else.....please
OMG u got to continue this it's is amazing lol
LET IT END NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HAVE A BAD FEELING INCEST IS GOING TO BE AN OPEN HOUSE . NEVER LET A STRANGER INTO THE FAMILY.AND RYAN DID IT, TOO BAD.SOUNDS LIKE THIS STORY WILL NOT END WELL, FOR ANYONE BUT THE STRANGER.................................LAROC OF AGES
Ryan & Mom
My mother was a confirmed alcoholic drinking a case of beer a day - everyday for the last three years of her like. She passed at age thirty eight three days before Christmas, 1950. She didn't care about anything except her beer and her lover. He was a beer drinker too and would come to the house two or three afternoons a week for an hour or so. She sucked his cock and fucked him and drank beer with him.
I came home from school early one afternoon and they were in the living room, she still in her nightgown and with his cock stuffed firmly in her mouth. I quietly backed out and let them continue their fun. With all the beer she drank, her kidneys were terribly weak and she had to piss all the time. I saw her pussy numerous times and even helped her to her chamber pot. I know what ryan is going through with this story.
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