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Manipulating Jenny Ch. 01

byBeamMeUp©
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Comments (4)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous01/07/08

HOT !

Great start - can't wait for more.

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by Anonymous01/07/08

Hot topic, hot girl

but your grammar and use of tense needs help. A good concept and lots of sexiness, but you should get someone to help you with editing for easier reading and flow.

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by sexysmile07/16/08

Hot

but needs editing. And since Jenny is clearly a she, she's a Latina, not Latino. Off to read chapter 2!

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by Anonymous09/09/13

too hot!

it was very hot....write more

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