All Comments on 'Out of Control'

by hickoryfarmer

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  • 15 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
I think you could make this a longer story

(if you were so inclined) - with a slower buildup, greater background on each character, etc. It's a little confusing because you say the brother and sister were fairly responsible which is why their parents thought they'd do fine on their own. It's implied, but could be given much more in-depth treatment, that his sister is jealous of Toyo and that she screws her boss more as payback to her brother, than because she wants to.<br><br>

To be honest, I didn't really like the inclusion of pregnancy. Abortion should be safe and legal, but it shouldn't be a substitute for birth control; which is what it is in this story. It's also not something that most women take lightly, and it's treated as if the sister does make the decision rather easily.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
What?

What a jumbled mess.

Don't write anymore!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
It's a story, a fantasy. It's make believe...

It was written to titilate us not to be a study in sibling psychology or a statement on abortion. The reality is simply that what he wrote is perfectly reasonable. She was jealous, she got even then she got hooked in a no-win relationship and didn't know how to get out.

Is this the reality for all siblings? No. But it does happen regularly to siblings and non-siblings.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
I liked it

Sorry, but I enjoyed it, especially the ending. Is abortion supposed to be taken seriously? Of course. Are there women who don't? Of course. So to condemn this character for doing what others do is ridiculous. Are there women who use abortion as a form of birth control? Of course. So again, I ask how can you act as if this character is the only one who does it? I hope you continue and remember that most of the criticisms are from those afraid to post their names.

walkingeaglewalkingeagleabout 16 years ago
Good job!

I enjoyed this, an interesting way of creating the situation! Great job!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
total piece of shit

get real no guy would act like that when she started to act bitchy he would avoid her and ignore her atall costs even if it meant moving out no way would he stick around he would possibly try to move in with his boss since he was fucking her keep sounding believable

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
I liked it =)

Especially the ending, its not one of those 'My sister was a slut, showing me her panties at every given stage' kinda story. =)

lorencinolorencinoalmost 14 years ago
Excellent

This is a really well-written, finely crafted tale

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Love it or hate it

Readers, this story was about me....a friend often written about in HickoryFarmer's work......whether you love it or hate it, it remains a truth I will not deny....so let's all get used to it

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago

This story was slightly confusing, but i liked it. I think maybe she was very lost and feeling rejected, plus she was pregnant, and having an abortion i would imagine is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes you tend to take stuff out on the people that mean the most to you and you know are always going to be there for you. And maybe she wanted someone to love her and you did just that. Why stop after monday though, wont that be harder?

topacetopaceover 11 years ago
Nice but...

if she loved her brother that much, she would of let him have her even after Monday.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
I liked it

Please continue the story. I would like to see what happens to them.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
just a sad story

about an ugly bitch that no one would ever want to be near, as usual for this site.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
We3ll if anyone would know a ugly bitch it's dear annony. He and his ex were the

poster children for ugly!!!! I gave it a 5 for effort and great story

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Part two

Needs more, much more!

Anonymous
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