by REGade
I read Chapters 1 thru 4 last night because of a heads up a friend gave me. She was so right when she said it shows a lot of promise. I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I also like your serial method of submission. You will probably get ripped for doing it this way. But it is your story, tell it how you like.
because I thought it would be a wham-bang, now
I am even with you both. Instead I find myself
enjoying the layers within layers.
You have developed the characters quite well. I look forward
to the subsequent installments.
You have assembled a fine array of people and relationships. It'll be interesting to see what you do with them, and how the story develops.
I like your writing style, but I find the plot confusing in this chapter. Jen's sister, Lillie who always appeared to dislike him before Jen married his brother Ed now is hitting on him,while former girl Jen now seems to actively dislike him. Old friend Beverly is now hitting on him which Jen doesn't seem to appreciate either. Ed is apparently sterile whiich, I guess ,will have some role in the plot later on, but I hope it appens before I get too confused.
60 year old George