All Comments on 'Polly Sets A Test For Lance'

Who needs a mother like that. And what was the husband thinking about ? Another wimp story.

Just a poor story, not well done, sorry.

hot, but I can't wait for some real action. Lance's huge cock plowing into Polly's tit and erupting huge doses of cum al over her while her daughter watches... keep it up!

why would he cum just from watching her...it doesn't work that way. Simply having a huge rack is pointless, as the saying goes, more than a mouthful is a waste. She would have back problems and frankly the idea of a pair of tits hanging around your navel is unappealing. Get a grip on writing you half wit.

Continue if you want but I won't be reading anymore. The mother is a bitch and the father a wimp.

I never understand why ppl feel the need to slag off ur stories. I enjoy ur writing and hope u continue with them. Maybe a bit longer next time though :D

I never understand why ppl feel the need to slag off ur stories. I enjoy ur writing and hope u continue with them. Maybe a bit longer next time though :D

Why are you so lacking in reality and humanity?

You confuse anger and pain with arousal so you will simply be regarded a sad sick subhuman who doesn't care for anything nor himself. Anyone can trash a family member but who would want to embarrass everyone involved for their own personal requirement? Just you writer and a very few others into the selfish humiliation of those close.<P>

Take it to the pub matie.

Wasted my time reading this so called story.

This one was poor relative to some of your others (Bree and Tom, 1 or 2 of the asset series). Please keep writing your brand of nasty cheating fantasies though you could improve them (for a lot of us) by:

1. Less cartoonish characters (huge rack and cocks that spew cum at the thought of sex

2. More focus on the seduction (with the other parties oblivious to the enevitability of it all)

3. More creativity - your trademark is really, really evil cheating - like Bree and Tom. Maybe scenarios such as Polly's daughter is in hospital after an accident and mother visits while boyfriend is there (better still if the accident was caused by something sexual....

4. More explicit description of the sex - or what is clearly sex but not noticed by the cuckolded parties.

Anyway, keep writing and of course ignore the trolls who know what you write but can't help themselves but read, jack off and then spew forth with bible in hand (f**king hypocrites!)

.

Keep it coming, there aren't any writers on here like you.

I can't comment on the characters and their motivations as I only skimmed over some of the other stories in this series. I loved the idea of Polly's challenge to Lance, however the implementation fell short.

Unless it was explained in another story, why would Polly do this at all? It seems like an arbitrary act of hatred toward her own family and Lance. In addition, how does she get away with doing this repeatedly as she claims earlier in the story?

Maybe it would be more plausible if Polly, say, had a history of guys dating her only for her looks (or maybe infidelity problems) and her daughter tells her she's having the same problem. Then they agree to have Polly try to lure in the boyfriend with this test to find out if he would betray the daughter.

Style and sentence structure could also use cleaning up. Re-read for punctuation and grammatically incorrect or awkward sentences. More description would bring more tension to the story.

I like the ideas here, but they could be presented better.

More please