All Comments on 'Quia Peccavi'

by unpredictablebijou

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  • 6 Comments
AngelineAngelinealmost 16 years ago
You do irony well

This one really resonates with me. That ending is something I experience at least once a day. :-)

Your poem has been recommended in the New Poems Review thread on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. Thanks for the read!

bluebellbluebellalmost 16 years ago
Ha!

Bijou, this poem will stay with me for a really long time. I guarantee it. Compact, precise, and sardonic in just the sorts of ways that bring joy to my snarky little heart. It's not always easy to strike that line between seriousness and a playful punch; most people are forced to choose. But you can hit both simultaneously. Marvelous.

LeBrozLeBrozalmost 16 years ago
██

Hilarious! God's got it right, who wants fish for breakfast?

KOLKOREKOLKOREalmost 16 years ago
Punch lines in poems are great fun!

The conversational language - so refreshing; the self deprecating humor - so appealing. In hindsight the contrast between the language in the poem and the lofty 'mea culpa' at the poem's title is both humorous and subtly preparing the ground for the divine intervention at the end...<P>

Hallelujah! I say to those who brave humor (dry or not) through the daily and the mundane, even more so for those who find it in our faults.

ohhh_liviaohhh_liviaalmost 16 years ago
something's just not "right"

Your poem I enjoyed until I came to a section that seems very out of place; it makes no sense at all.

"and that for some reason this"

I attempted to read it several different ways, but is still garbled, still wrong.

But yes, the ending is good, just do not rely on that sort of ending for all your work or you will be come predictable bijou, ROFL

UnderYourSpellUnderYourSpellalmost 16 years ago
~

Loved the punchline! Taking Leon to one side though and forcibly explaining the Englishness of kippers for breakfast!

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