All Comments on 'Words I Shall Never Forget'

With some grammatical changes, a decent story line and something other than cliche sex...... it might be worth reading.

Booooooooring!

You call that writing? It sucked. In the future try to be less full of yourself. Your writing style is very off-putting.

Don't quit your day job!!!!

Where to start? This strikes me as a bare bones story. It's got a good structure and a reasonable amount of action, but not much else. I think it would benefit you throw in some dialogue, as well as adding some back story for your two characters: who she is, how they met, how they came to this point in the story. Also, instead of just describing their actions, consider throwing in some their thoughts. Additionally, with the male character's attitude, I'm not quite sure it fits in with your chosen category of First Time. He seems a little too head strong and cock sure, if you will. But don't let others comments dissuade you. You've done the hardest part: posting your work for public reading and reviewing. Now, you just have to digest their feedback and decide how seriously you want to take it.

tht was a waist of time

Where is the story ?

OK now you have your feet wet. You had the courage to throw yourself out there, and let anyone critique your story. Read those comments that truely had advice that might help you with your future stories, and use like the tools they are meant to be.

Ignore all the rest. Pay little attention and do not let those who give advice like "don't quit your day job" or "get out of the writing game" without so much as a suggestion to support their expert advice, effect you. Keep writing and learning, especially from those who offer well thought out advice. Good luck.