All Comments on 'Months of Planning'

very hot first story keep it up

With plot and likeable characters. Some paragraphs were toooo long - shorten them next time. There were minor errors in spelling and grammar - tip: proofread. Keep writing.

The plot and characters were good. There were a few paragraphs that were a little too long. There were some typo's...such as 'the' where your meant to use 'they' and 'he' where it should have been 'she'.

To a reader these are a little distracting as they usually have to re-read the sentence to figure out what is going on.

Next time you should get one of the volunteer editors to take a look before you post. They can be invaluable just finding little mistakes like I mentioned.

Good luck on you're next submission.

I found you from the link you posted in the AH. I agree with the others. Overall, it was a good story, but there were a few spelling errors and some of the paragraphs were too long. Keep at it, though. You are definitely off to a good start. If you're interested in finding a volunteer editor, click my user name above and send me a message, I'd be happy to help.

- - but - - as several have suggested - proofreading care would make it better. Mistakes put the reader off as they struggle to understand what you actually meant. Thanks for the effort - keep on writing.

Beautifully written.....an ideal scenario.