by trogg97051
So nice of her to help her Dad in his time of need , we should all be so lucky .
Please find an editor and proofread your work!!
David becomes Steve but then switches back to David.
A decently original plot in this genre but the grammatical errors are atrocious.
Overall I liked your story but with a good editor you could have written a great story.
I liked the story but you really need to work on your grammar. You used the wrong spelling of a lot of words and David somehow became Steve. I'd like to see more of this story but PLEASE work on your grammar.
How come the brother's name turned from David to Steve back to David again?
the grammar/spelling errors, the name change & a story titled "Daddy's Little Angel" spending most of the time having sex with the brother took a lot away. split into 2 parts and expanding each to chapter length would make this a really great series.