All Comments on 'Say My Name Ch. 07'

by secrecy456

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  • 37 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Loooovin it!

iS there a time where you are not great.Goodness you rock girl keep on witcha bad self

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Well...

I enjoyed your story. Thank you for allowing us to read it. Sure, you need some refinement as a writer, but with an editor who you can bounce your ideas off of and get feedback on how to make your chapters better, I believe that you could live up to that potential that we see. The more you write, the better you can become. Don't give up just because some people don't like it. Write because there are people who seem to love it and love what you write. Take the constructive criticism as just that, constructive and written to help you understand what your readers are looking for. Ignore the haters that say nothing helpful at all. And take pride in the feedback that tells you just how much people are enjoying your story. In this chapter, you gave us more of Adam and it's easier to connect with him. And your ending is so cute (Did they get married? When did they get married?). You gave us a few more details too. But, these 2 chapters together is about the length you should shoot for in one chapter. For instance, you could have given us more about Nick's apartment and Nick. He looked bad and he was depressed. Ok, what did his apartment look like, what did he look like/smell like? Did he loose any weight? When was the last time he showered or shaved? Was he eating? What was his dad doing that he wanted him to stop? Where was his dad? In his room? In the bathroom? Was he still smelly during the chase and in jail or did he shower when his parents came over? Why did his parents come over in the first place? Why did Nynia gather her friends and family at her house? You see, there's so much more that you could give us in your chapters that would help lengthen them and you could have worked in your cliff hanger too. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of you.

FionaVolpeFionaVolpeover 15 years ago
Thanks

for the story. The last couple of chapters seemed like you wanted to just wrap them up and get them over with. The actions and subsequent consequences seemed abrupt and over the top. I'm still not sure how everyone thought Nick intentionally hurt Nynia when his ex created the drama through her lies. The only thing he was remiss in was not telling her about his ex and the nature of their stunted relationship. Yet Nynia follows some convoluted plan which involves her lying and results in him being thrown in jail with a now criminal record (you can't just blow off a high speed car chase with the cops) to prove his love? Don't get it, but it's over so....Despite the dip into soap opera reality, I am looking forward to your future stories and see how you develop as a writer. Once again, thanks for the entertainment.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Not bad

I had really disliked your short chapters so waited until the end to read the story in its entirety. Overall, it's not too badly written. There are just a few scenes that could have been better or could have been cut out entirely. The whole ex/being thrown in jail thing seemed a bit much to me, but that's just my take. It's really not a bad story for a first submission. I do think you can be a good writer someday. As a previous poster commented, you just need some refinement. But the talent is there :)

mrskelleymrskelleyover 15 years ago
I love it!!!!

No I didn't like the short chapters, but I loved the story!!!! Great Job!

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
I loved it!!

The chapters were short but the story flowed. I loved how Adam would do anything for Nick. Nick and Nyerina make a good couple. I look forward to your future stories.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Great Ending

I liked the story it seemed a little rushed but it was still good. I thought that the exwife gave up to soon...if she was fighting for her man then why did she give up so quick. Also will there be a love match between Geaorgia and Adam? Thanks for a great read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Oh this is great`

I was loving this, up until the car chase! I laughed so hard i had to stop before i threw up! It was a little rushed, but so was their relationship :)

Congrats!

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
LMAO--Hilariously Awesome!!

OMG! I was laughing so hard at the police chase scene that i think ppl may think I am insane!! It was seriously the funniest most ridiculous thing i have ever read!! I loved it!!! I really like ur stories and i get the feeling that you are new at this...you're direction is overall correct! but, it does feel very very rushed and very in descript! If u could be more descriptive it would give us (ur readers) a better picture in our heads! Keep writing tho...i love where u're headed! If i didnt have classes you'd inspire me to do a little writing of my own!

Keep up the good work!!

bulldogdeebulldogdeealmost 15 years ago
Loved It!!!

That was one of the best stories that I have read in a while. MORE PLEASE

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
better than most but a little childish?

Hey there! I didn't want to comment until I read the entire story. You should definitely proofread or have someone proofread your work. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors that really disrupted my ability to enjoy the piece. I was really with you until the ex showed up. Wasn't sure if they were still married or divorced? Whose baby is she carrying?

And then the part where Nynia calls him and says she's found someone else...I lost a lot of respect for her, she seemed sort of two dimensional anyway. But all her friends and family standing around encouraging her to play mind games to get him back (?)..sounds like a doomed relationship to me. And it seems like you are afraid of average looking people. In the beginning you described both his parents as being sexy and, well, it kinda creeped me out. It just seemed out of place.

I'm not a great writer, either. My two submissions hover around 4.5 but I hear one gets better with practice. Keep it up.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
lmao

that was hilarious!!!!

good, but funny too.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
Make More x33333 :-*

Its Was Outstandingly Good :] Its Humorous ,Loving , Sexy , Hot and Mind Blowing. Looking Forward To Reading More Of Your Stories Sweetie :) <333 !

canndcanndalmost 14 years ago
good story....question

i liked the story. I do have a question....I assume the twins Lucian and damien are the same from 'demon at my door'....aren't they? they weren't married with kids in that story which had to be after this b/c damien dies in 'demon'. Also if they aren't human, isn't nick something other than human? just wondering...unless you just named these twins the same as those in the other story. just wanted to know.

thanks for writing. keep it up.

FaeezahFaeezahover 13 years ago
They are for sure not the twins.

I wanted to see how this story played out because though I read all her other stories I've never read this one. This Damian and Lucian don't fit the other description. To the commente r below I think you just read a part wrong. Also I'm quite sure The Demon At Her Door was the first paranormal story that secrecy456 wrote. And this was started before TDAHD.

THELOVELY1GLOTHELOVELY1GLOover 13 years ago
Good Read...

A little bit more towards the end, yet I really enjoyed this series. Keep on writing, for it gets easier, and the characters will come together in a more cohesive manner.

NightpleasureNightpleasurealmost 13 years ago

i really enjoyed this story.

Sweet_RaetoyaSweet_Raetoyaover 12 years ago
OMG

BEST DAMN STORY I HAVE EVER READ LOVED IT OMG I LOVED IT

mimi186mimi186over 12 years ago
So cute

I just love them!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 12 years ago
Amazing

Gosh Adam and Nick are officially my favorite characters.

You have talent for creating a story that keeps readers on the edge of our seat.

I read you story about Adam and Erica first so I was puzzled when they said the cops were involved when Nick was trying to get Nynia back, but now I see! This story is on of my favorites because it has just enough drama, romance, and sex. It's great and surprisingly the short chapters didn't bother me one bit!

cantbuymycantbuymyabout 12 years ago
yes i liked it

it is a shame you quit writing - i love the story - and will read your others. you get a 5.

mrskelleymrskelleyover 11 years ago
Yeah!

Great story! Love these two!

MsShaybabeMsShaybabealmost 11 years ago
Great story....

This was a wonderful story....wow!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
over the top

it was extremely over the top and not in a good cheesy way. complete waste of a good story. yhe ending with the chase and assault on officers then he is out on bailm I liked the beginning bu5 itbwas losing sense after the 2 chapter

Cindi47Cindi47over 10 years ago
Great lovers....

Hi, isn't funny how people who don't like the story keep reding it? LOL Well I Loved it and Thank you..

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
UNBELIEVABLE

AHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT ENDING WAS SHIT. WHAT HAPPENED? IT WAS SO GOOD IN THE BEGINNING, I THOUGHT I WAS BEING PUNK'D.

AMHJ89AMHJ89over 10 years ago

seemed a bit rushed which made it unbelievable

chocolatesistachocolatesistaover 10 years ago
i loved it

Crazy man nick is but a great man, doing what needs to be done for love...

Gemigirl93Gemigirl93about 10 years ago

I absolutely loved the whole series!! I'm determined to read everything you write, now! Hope that doesn't make me a creeper.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Amazing Iove Nick hmmm

I found nothing wrong with this,

From beginning to end I Iove love love it.

At least you put your work out there which was very well done.

it wasn't slow or boring.

It kept me on my toes and Nick's determination was so sexy, how passionate he was.

Please make more stories like this I will read every single one.

There's worse writers out there and you're so not one of them.

Your material is breath taking.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
yayy

I love you secrecy

Your stories are Amazing!!!! Promise me youll never stop writing

chocolatesistachocolatesistaover 8 years ago
love you

I'm Smiling like the Cheshire cat right now. Nick and Nynia what a couple;)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
😍😍

OH MY!! It is so hard to describe how much I love your stories!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago

OMG, this last story was off the chain LOL. It had so many parts within it, that I am now saying is my favorite. I love the part where he races to her out of love, refusing to stop for the cops, and even flipping them the bird LOL. Then he ends up getting out of the car, and running into the woods still putting up a big fight. Then on camera, announcing his love to her, and for the world to see. Now that's sexy beastly man LOL. I think a man is the sexiest thing that God created. I also like the part, where she comes to the jail to see him, and he gets on his knees pleading for her not leave him. And she gets down and hugs him as well, so much love in the air. Then you the writer of this beautiful sexy story, ended where they have a child out of love. So many love ones surrounding her with all the love she could ever need. I really loved this story, thank you so much for writing it. Why don't men like that exist in real life? LOL.

Allegedly_LiterateAllegedly_Literateabout 1 year ago

Short, sweet and way to rushed. Thanks for sharing your creativity. Looking forward to reading more from you.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Great story your writing is really good some editing needed but other than that I really enjoyed this story..

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