All Comments on 'Want to Play Ch. 06'

With a great ending..I am so glad his father got rid of that witch@!!!!I can't wait to read more from you!!!!!!

You switched up the ending, see that's how you do it! That was a fantastic ending to a great story!! You see you took your time and it came out awsome! You are a great writter, and all you have to do is just take time, even if that means comming up with a different story and comming back to the one you were working on to get a fresh idea on the current one. You did it, I really hope that you continue to write on this site, because you have a great talent that shoudnt go to waste!!!!!!!!! Yay! :)

A very nice ending. Good job!

with Freshman College! Hopefully you can keep up with writing your stories and schoolwork. Remember many of us believe you have potential to be a great writer. Maybe your college experience will provide new inspiration for more stories!

Was a short submission but did not feel rushed at all! Well done, I'm glad you decided to keep writing, keep up the good work :)

Oh and good luck with college!

Keep up the good work. I'm glad you've decided to stay on. I hope you continue to improve your skills and become the best writer you can be. It would be nice if, in your next story, you provided your readers with some kind of break that let's us know when there's going to be a scene change. It helps lessen the confusion. But, good story over all.

Very great elements, in this story. You left yourself a lot of avenues to take this story and develop it more expanding the action and conflict. Your characters have the potential to be very strong and dynamic if developed fully.

This is just as much a romance, just a different way of expressing it. Keep up the good work

i loved this series!! thx, and keep up the good work!!

~*urdreamgyrl*~

Thanks for a great read.

I have a habit of reading all of the chapters before sending a comment. I have not been disappointed by any thing that I have been reading by you. Thanx for dong such a great job. Please do not stop no matter how long it takes. Good Luck in your school work. I hope you have some fun along the way.

Cheers Dee

I LOVED THE WHOLE STORY

Terrific! Amazing! You're a very talented writer and I enjoyed all of the chapters. Please keep writing, this story really entertained and touched me.

I really enjoyed Erica and Adam's story. Keep up the good work.

LOVED THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!

this was great, but this entire chapter was rushed! this chapter i think would have been better, with more development. it was a disappointment to capitalize on adam fighting for erica, and then having the fight be a fake!

I enjoyed this story...

really loved the series, glad to see that Adam was finally tamed and with a family of his own.

i need to meet a man like adam. he sounds waay sinful. yummy :) beautiful story! i'm glad he got his happy ending too!

This story was so wonderful too. I was hoping you would find Adam a good woman too like u did with Nick.

With his fine sexy self. Lil mama Cece was no joke. LOL!

Thank you for sharing

I really enjoyed this story! I read some of the previous comments through the story, and I was so busy reading that I didn't notice any mistakes! I will be checking out your other stories.

This was a great story from the beginning until the ending, with the editing that needed to be done, I was still able to follow along. Keep it up...

I WANT TO PLAY AND ITS CALLED JAZ'MEIR LOVES ANAL!!!!!!

Loved it!

Not enough people explore the black woman white man relationship. Great job and very sexy!

So wonderful

I like the plot. I also like how your stories are linked, that's cool.

But, there is usually a 'but' in stuff; you need more details, your story was rushed. It isn't clear when you switch from one character talking to another character either answering the first speaker, or a third speaker joining in the conversation.

Example:

(Giselle looked at him with sincerity in her eyes. "Yes sweetheart I wasn't going to tell you, but you caught me. I was going to forget about all of his because I didn't want to ruin the little relationship the two of you have." [Giselle looked at him with sincere eyes and answered, "Yes sweetheart, I really didn't want to tell you... if you hadn't been here when I came home... (she intentionally let her voice fade away to enhance her conniving theatrics). Then on a forced sobbed, added, "I didn't want to ruin your what relationship the two of you have."] This is just altering some phrases to make the situation believable.

Colin looked down at her thoughtfully. "Good because from what I've heard Adam has been in the kitchen all this time." Colin gave her a dirty look and pushed her away from him. [Also, here... you should have informed the reader that Colin was on to Giselle's lies. As your reader I had reread this and then it hit me, 'Oh, Colin realized she is lying to him'.]

Get an editor, I like your stories, just want a better tone and better dialogue. I write on here and am currently waiting on my editor so I may submit my next chapter.

This was another good story made me laugh. Say My Name was over the top though loved reading about Nick and Nynia. Glad Adam found someone .

I had to "Favorite" this. Your story was refreshing and simple. Just enough for those times I simply want a cute and sexy read. Good job!

Thee absolute best story I've read on here since I ran across this site and that's about 4 years !

Please

Where's the painting?