nice vengeance theme... comment not criticism... nobody is going to go... they are just going... occasionaly there seems to be something that is hoding back your use of suitable adjectives to make the story flow, look inside, put yourself there and tell the reader how it feels(that prickling sensation as the first beads of sweat are formed from your exhertions etc)... there are a few syntax and tense errors which you could probably erradicate if you use the services of the editor program at this site... i use hotti... she's made my tales much more readable... keep up your efforts... more, more, more... thankyou
Funny, maybe I'm reading too much into this story and forgive me if I am, but all we writers tend to write what we know and who do we know more than ourselves. Most of all that I write is autobiographical after all.
I couldn't help but see you as Amanda. I mean no disrespect by that, but because you created your character well enough for me to see her, I could see her as being you, the writer.
I loved the idea of this story, the perfect revenge.
Loved it. Great story. Kind of reminds me of the 'A Team' when at the end of the show, George Peppard would say something like..."I love it whan a good plan comes together..."
Interesting and believable characters in a well developed and nicely paced tale. Good luck in the contest!
You do realize that Amanda committed rape. How would you feel if the roles were reversed and it was Amanda tied up and forced to have sex? We live in a society where the perception is that men can not be raped. This is a fallacy and an inequity in the law. What you wrote is a raped scene. Rape is not revenge it is just hate. You wrote it well but don't mistake the score for agreement with your philosophy. If it is not your philosophy then I would suggest you write a different ending, one that does not include rape. I realize it is just a story but hate must be combated wherever it is written.
I have read a total of two Non-Consent stories and have written a total of one.
The other two that I've read have been from the Male POV, which I'm tempted to think is the norm. But reading a non-consent story from a woman's POV is new and refreshing, to me.
I loved the Ghost Hunters story and I really like this one, too. I hope you do well in the contest. Good Luck! ~ RaLa
Finally a guy gets forced into sex. I love it and the ending was funny. Really emphasized the stupidity of those guys.
Interesting tale of revenge. Not often do we read non-consent stories from the woman's point of view. Good luck in the contest.
i hope you have good luck in this contest, it was a great story
Interesting twist on a classic tale by making the guys be the ones taken advantage of. I thought it worked well even if it could stand to be described in a bit more detail. Good luck in the contest.
to lady i definitely enjoyed this submission and i wish you the best in the contest.
this story is filed under non consent/reluctance and it is fantasy, no one is hurt as a result. if you do not wish to read stories like this, then i suggest you stick to stories that you are comfortable reading.
After wading through piles of stories tagged as something else that ended up as non-consent with girls as victims... I was more than ready to read this story!!! Everything about it seemed really credible, especially once I realized the bullying had only happened the last 3 years. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVENGE SEX!
Although the boys didnt get punished nearly enough, this is different from the usual misogynist pablum on this site - thank you so much! :-)
Not bad, but the revenge didn't go far enough. She should have cut their balls off with a butter knife. Of course, that's not very good since it'd be against the law. In which case, if they were both straight, she shoulda forced them into a 69 position, taken several photographs, and pasted them all round campus.
A lot of potential, but not much to show. You're a halfway decent writer, but you're actual plot falls short. Keep writing. Hopefully you're next story will be truly worth reading.
For the read.
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