All Comments on 'Avenging Angels Ch. 04'

It seemed like a good idea. I like where your head is. But i cant take this anymore. Knew is almost always spelled new, and the entire story consists of nothing but layered flashbacks. Renard flashes back to being told the truth which triggers a flashback to his miracle meanwhile stromboli or whatever the hell his name is remembers being in his position? Its infuriating.

Then theres the fact that the michaels place is updated every century. That just doesnt work in modern times. It should be so much more often. If the army updated its gear every century know what it would be? Dead. A computer from 2000 is a comical, oversized, underpowered piece of crap compared to one now.

Overall this story just bothered me too much to read. It could have been something good, instead it gave me a headache.

well actually, contrary to the comment below...i quite like this story. You do need an editor though.

But, the plot is excellent- potential for publication! :) Keep it coming!

Your story has been very interesting to read thus far.. I look forward to the rest of it. I like the way you add in historic moments .... Great read!