All Comments on '"Don't Miss," He Said Ch. 01'

...to what has the potential to become a very good story. I am truly enjoying your descriptive writing style. Your character development for Alphonse is very good. I would only say this, follow his advice. Don't miss. -M

Unbelievably good start, just don't screw the rest up. You had it wrong though, brother. That would be Able "Squad" within C Co. Just clarifying. I loved the goon's bit about "They aren't our real names, they're the names of--"

Genius is what that is. The "I started counting" bit confused me though. Was he counting shots, or bodies, or seconds, or what? Overall, a bang-up job that had me moved. Don't worry, though; I would never consider branching Rangers.

This is the best thing, hands down, that I have read on this site. You had me a bit confused toward the end, but you tied up those loose ends beautifully. Wonderful descriptions, likeable couple, even from the first. Absolutely stunning!

Who the 'F' are these people.

1: Is this a highschool, a college or what?

2: Who are these attackers? Insurgents, terrorists? I don't get it.

3: Why are they raping the women then killing them?

When you write a story begin with who/what/when/where any why. you don't need them all, nor right away but you need something to draw the reader toward some of those things.

Very good and an interesting style of writing, quite different from others I have read but good. It's almost like musings of someone watching this scene of terrorism play out.