All Comments on 'Xmas Surprises at the Murphy's'

Really liked the story. Great first effort.<p>

The only criticism I have is that like so many incest stories the pace moved way too quickly. People who haven't seen each other in years, people who have NO previous history of being sexually active with each other, they're not just going to commence with teasing, rubbing, oral sex and fucking the very first moment they're alone together. No way. They'd need some time to test the waters; to measure the other person. There's a lot at stake there, they wouldn't just dive right in. They'd need at least some time to overcome a lifetime of normal sibling behavior, especially in their parents' house with the family all gathered together.<p>

Like I said though, you're hardly alone there. There are a million incest stories here where a sibling or a son come home after being away for a few years at college or in the military or whatever and nearly every time the story teller moves the pace along at a ridiculously unrealistic rapid pace. Believability is tossed out the window and believeability is key to a really good story.<p>

Slow down. Savor the story. Enjoy the build up. This isn't a tax audit so don't be in such a hurry to get to the end. The sex needs to be the final destination...the climax. The journey is what's most important though. It's the "getting there" that matters most in writing a good story. That's where you should be focusing most of the fun. Stories like these would be infinitely sexier if only the writer would build up the tease and the longing before the characters finally can't control themselves any longer.<p>

See stories from youbadboy, alwayswantedto and Slickman for examples of properly erotic pacing with incest stories.<p>

Anyway, that's just one person's opinion. Others will differ. Others want stories where the writer simply cuts to the chase. I kinda feel sorry for those people though. They're missing the whole point. Sex is in the mind far more than it's in the genitals. Fuck the reader's mind for as long as possible and the genitals will happily follow along. This is true in real life and it's even more important when you're talking about the written word...

I enjoyed what there was of this story. I hope you continue it for a few more chapters. It has the making of a good sibling incest tale. I'll be looking for more from you.

Great story, and hope to see the next chapter soon. I think that the two will make a good couple, and hope that they find what they are looking for.Since he's going to nail his younger sister, maybe he can nail that older sister too, she seems to have a set of hot pants, and needs a lot of cock. Thanks for the good story....Rich

cockpenismotherfuckerballs this is good

i came

Please continue.

the tittle says it

If I had a sister like Lizzy, I'd be committing incest also. zNot just once, but daily.

I'm anxiously awaiting the rest of the story.

Thank you.

once again we have a wanna be writer that can't finissh a story if you can't finish then don't start

Learn the difference between lay and lie, stick to the same pace and we should be okay.

Worth a 5 if there was one.

Continue this current story. I don't like reading something long only to reach and ending with "To be continued"

Keep going please

some stories are nice but outside of sex not much to them. I personally think you had a good blend of sex and drama to your story.

This story has me so excited until they got caught and David left her in the living room. It is a shame that this was never finished.

I just found the second part.

Good story, sad mom is a pyscho but if you still get feed back love to see more with it. going to read part two now. Just found this today!

What a shame you didn’t continue on with this story. It was quite a good storyline ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Unless you ramble for 10 - 15 pages then leave your readers after two or three sentences of feely touchy, you’re doing fine. Nice lead, good follow through, no not a golf swing, with descriptive writing, again, you’re doing fine. There are thus far, three stories that appear related and sequeled, Flashback; Xmas and Sis/bro in that order, with the same characters and scenes. Edit them as a series and submit further episodes as such. Give you a 5* again as they are hot.

Finish it please