All Comments on 'A Daemon's Heart Ch. 05'

but it was too short...I cant wait to read more of this story :)

I'm loving this story so far and I want more more more! It's like reading a paranormal romance novel, the sex is great but it's not trashy and the plot and characters are just as great and interesting. It'd be great if you had the passion for writing to go back and develope the story and the characters more and turn this into possibly a book. Keep up the awesome work; I really do love it! :D

i love the fact that yuh have the pov thing going on. makes the reader kinda feel like there in the persons head at that point in time. excellent work xD

I like the whole switching pov thing but some parts werea little bit confusing. other than that I still love it :P

hi me again...the girl who wrote the anoyingly long comment on the previous chapters. just want to say...i dont really think 'romp' is the kind of word a 400 year old vampire would use. that seems far to modern for him even if he is keeping up with the times, also for Kale to say that 'nothing has ever felt so rite to me and i mean that with everything i am," (not your exact words) and then you use the word "romp" it totaly deminishes the feel of a connection that you just placed on what happened between them the night before.

to me "romp" sounds like something a thug would say to boyz while he is talking about some bitch he met at the club. Idk...i guess im just picky! I still like your story so far! lol.. :D

Hi keep it up i kn my comments from the last one was late seein that all the parts is finished......I cant wait to find out what she is......

angel people r you fucking stupid god she like glows and she sprouts wings in the next story

This style definitely seems to be a more natural voice for you and your characters come through with more life. Do be a little more careful with the way your vampire/daemon thinks to himself/ talks. Its doesn't need to be archaic and they will have picked up on some modern speech by neccesity, but someone whos been around been around for 400 years will still carry old habits and have their way of thinking altered by the vast amount of knowledge and experience they've accumulated living on the fringes of society for centuries. Some of the attraction comes from having this very wise, old, mature soul in a young, physically appealing body. Also work on your leads ins, they are occasionally a bit abrupt. Let the tension build a bit for yours readers and your characters, and once again this is someone who's been around for centuries, they aren't going to act like a giggling teenager about sex. I'm thinking it's your own manner coming through, which works fine for your heroine who is young and modern, but for your hero you have have put yourself in his shoes. Keep writing!!