All Comments on 'It's My Party'

try submitting by chapters instead of just dumping a thousand page tome and say, 'here.'

That's what they call good literature. But try to submit it in chapters, many more people wil read and appreciate it.

in less time that that.... you gotta be kidding

While the content was acceptable, the length was not. This should have been submitted in chapters, and honestly speaking when something is marked illustrated people want to see naked people/drawings to illustrate what is occurring not floor plans.

not on line, way to long. The details sound like someone filling in a diary with meat. Ah well something for everyone and this is not for me. You could have made several, dozens, of short stories out of this.

There was so much work put into this story..but no one will ever really know. I agree it should have been done chapter style so that people who are interested in the longer stories could have found it. Listed as it is under illustrated leads one to other expectations.

I will be honest that I didn't even try reading this story. It is way too long and needs to be broken into chapters. I know some great stories on here are longer, but anything over 3-5 screens is too much.

What the hell? Sumbit in separate chapters. Give us a break!!

FFS, give us a break and submit this again, only this time do it in smaller chapters, (4 to 5 pages max), so we can at least read them one or two at a time.

it's like trying to read the encyclopedia brittanica in one sitting

Sorry but i have to give this a big fat zero for nothing else but the length of it.

I don't understand the severity of the criticism in the comments so far. I posted this story all at once as a gift, so the reader could control the pace of reading the story. You the reader decide when to stop or continue, not me. I'm offering a free book-length story. I don't mock you for passing this story by and not reading. Why do you mock me for writing?

I understand the authors frustration but I suggest that us silly readers have expectations.<P>

One expectation is not to be surprised when approaching the bottom of the first page to see that it was longer than expected.<P>

Author - try to understand that that shock resonated when at the bottom of 5 pages later it seemed to be growing before our many already tired eyes.<P>

That caused frustration in many because while it and you are good or even very good we weren't prepared to see the numbers continue to roll on teasing us on or hating to give up or just plain wishing you had told us at the beginning how beeg this was so we could plan accordingly.<P>

So please don't be offended - but do try to understand.<P>

With High Regard

Gave you 100, just because I had to rate it something. I figure it will balance out all the people who didn't read it and gave it a 00.

I'm going to pile on about the expectations. A 110 page (what does it translate to in a word document? 300+ I would imagine?) story is amazing, but too daunting for anybody.

Your explanation about letting the reader read at his own pace is a good point, but chapters are still the way to go. I don't know if they'd let you post 20 chapters all at once, but you could do 1 or 2 a day for half a month, and you'd still have it all available in an orderly fashion.

Chapters give people a good place to say "Okay, let's stop there for now." And while you have chapters in your book, the act of having to open a new story provides a much better "let's take a break" incentive.

I hope you'll resubmit. I distinctly remember another story that was 28 pages when it was submitted, and likewise trashed for its length. The author resubmitted it in 7 parts, and got lots of positive feedback.

Also, keep the illustrations, but see if you can get it labeled as something else. The diagrams may help your story, but they are most certainly not what people are looking for when the open an "illustrated" story.

Well, well, - this was a fascinating read! I understand the reaction of the readers that were taken aback by the sheer length of this submission, - my reaction was similar when I first decided that I needed to know how long this story really was (somewhere around page 20...), - but I must say, persevering was very much worth while.

I have been a Sci-Fi fan for a very long time, and had no problem accepting the premises underlying the story. I did find the details all over the spectrum, from gripping to feeling like indulgence in personal fetishes. Overall, - I was impressed with the scope and depth of the story, and the blend of narrative and dialogue was excellent and believable.

Next on my list is to read the rest of your stories. I don't post comments very often, but this one impressed me. Well done!

Positives First...The length is remarkable, and from the bits that I did read, the dialogue descriptions and whatnot were also more or less believable. Kudos to the author for such an undertaking.

<hr>

While I must confess that I did not read the entirety of this submission due to the length, I did begin (somewhere around page 40) a fascinating game. It involved reading only the last paragraph on a page, and trying to fill in the gaps in the story myself. It was quite fascinating to read that way, and took far less time than it would have to read the entire megawork.

<hr>

I also would like to echo the comments of previous posters regarding breaking the submission down into smaller chunks for easier processing, and about the placement of the story in "Illustrated" leading to certain expectations, most of which do not include mathematics or polygons.

<hr>

One of the most difficult tasks an author faces in structuring his/her work is deciding where to make chapter breaks. This was done internally, and the motives make sense on the surface. But it's hard to completely make that argument work since an interested reader would (being invested in the story) have to say, "Okay, I'm on Chapter 13 now. That's on page 28 of the story." Each and every time he wanted to take a break. Maybe I'm a spoiled reader for expecting to not have to do that.

This is a page turner story that was hard to put down, I found myself pushing to read further only to be rewarded with more and more story and no answers but many more questions about what happens next.

Your writing wonderful, I can not even image how long it took to write this and your attention to detail helped the story to a degree....

This the first Literotica story that I have ever had to get my calculator out for and the first one I wanted to [celsius to fahreinheit {C/5 = (F-32)/9} or Km to miles {Km = .62Miles} ....

An abbreviated or serialized version of this story should be presented in some other venue - this is not Literotica material. Your character and plot development is far too extensive. You should take this and sell it as a TV show (you have got 3 to 4 seasons @ 15 to 20 shows per season), make it into a sci-fi soap opera or a romance novel for geeks...

I could not finish it, considered it way to long for one uninterpted story, found this to be the wrong place to present this story. With your writing and attention to detail just present each of the sex scenes on here as a separate story, I actually did not see that many actual sex scenes in the parts that I read....

Find another venue to show your talents. Your gift is your writing your flaw is your choice of presentation both the length of the work and the market...

In the end I chose to balance a zero with a 100 to net to fifty... your work outweights your flaws

hammingbyrd7 replies to comments: <p>

02/20/09 by hammingbyrd7 <p>

I don't understand the severity of the criticism in the comments so far. I posted this story all at once as a gift, so the reader could control the pace of reading the story. You the reader decide when to stop or continue, not me. I'm offering a free book-length story. I don't mock you for passing this story by and not reading. Why do you mock me for writing? <p>

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it. <p>

++++++++++++++++++ <p>

1. Antelope Valley <p>

2. Close Encounter <p>

3. Curse of the Blue Spirit <p>

4. Kinetic <p>

5. Life in the Tesseract <p>

6. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Justic <p>

7. Love's Equal Loss <p>

8. Path of the Blue Spirit <p>

9. Return Encounters <p>

10. Undiscovered Countries <p>

These are the stories you've written that I've read. And I liked almost all of them. Wherever they failed, if I judged them to fail, it's because of conceptualization and/or execution --- NOT because of length! <p>

For me, the longer it is and more thought out, the better! <p>

I have loved science fiction since high school and have read great masters like Heinlein, Bova, Baxter, Brin, Foster, Clark, Asimov, and others who are into science fiction and mathematics and physics and time travel.....<P>

Let me say this: You are an extremely inventive and a very good writer. More than that, you're more generous than most, in offering most of your writings free. <p>

I should tell you that ANTELOPE FREEWAY was one of the most interesting and, indeed, unique stories I've read, whether through free forums like this or from the store... Indeed, the whole inter-related series was great, but some chunks were better thought-out or more interestingly put together than others....<p>

Don't waste your time on the illiterates who are bitching about the length of a story. Let them masturbate to the 2 paragraph-to-2-page they so desire. <p>

Please, continue with your writing, your imagination --- the imagining and writing of these long, complete, and well reflected stories that go beyond silliness about some good hard working White man coming home and finding his glass-figure 45-year-old beautiful blond (previous totally faithful) fucking the local Black drug dealer who spends 10 hours on the phone and pumping iron in the "health" gym, all which requiring formerly faithful White bitches to satisfy him, to calm him down... <p>

Yours is true writing, real stories of imagination, whether there is sex or not.... indeed, whether they work out or not, at the end,,, they are still real attempts at true story telling, not synopses for masturbatory purposes like 99 percent of the "stories" here in Literotica, which, of course, have their own uses, however fleeting... <p>

Just read it in a sitting, really enjoyed it, Thanks!

at the beginning of the story would have eliminated much of the frustration. Before reading a story, I always check the length. Do I want a quicky, or story of substance. I have to admit I was impressed that someone could maintain a train of thought for this length.

I would have given you 110% in appreciation for the number of pages.

Don't let the turkeys get you down!

This story rivals anything that Heinlein could dream up.

Such a convoluted plot and work-thru. Kudos!! I enjoyed it as much as any of your prior stories and think that you should seek a print media publisher. Having read Sci-FI for more that 50 years, this is at the top of my list for Quality. I would also love to see another chapter of your "Preacher man" series. It was left unfinished.

Absolutely first rate! My only (minor) quibbles are:

1) I think the frat boys were refered to as party-crashers early on. Leads to an unanswered (I think) question regarding the party invitees. Totally random? Planned/directed? Outside of targeting college students, I am assuming random. For the effort and scale involved that seems like leaving a huge amount to chance. (But no more so than any of the other challenges faced, I suppose.)

2)So many math genuises around, automatically understanding what each other are talking about. Would be nice to have someone react with a dopey "Huh???" every once in a while :-) but so much that it interrupts the steamroller pacing.

3) At one point Doug has an inner "what a waste those weeks were" monologue. Was sort of hoping someone would (briefly) rehash that during the ceremony as a reason for their vote.

What a truly fantastic bit of storytelling. I have always loved a good adventure/mystery story and this one was absolutely first rate. I love the way all the seemingly unrelated details all eventually fall into place. Honestly it's why I keep reading your stories. Great work; hope to see more of your work in the future!

It is a shame there wasn't better illustrations in fact photos of the party would have been even better then we could have an inside to the party goers.

I just finished the last page. This is one of those tales a reader finishes and then feels a touch of grief for having done so. Now I'm off to read more of hammingbyrd7's stories. I hope some of them will combine elements of some of my favorite authors (Rober Rimmer [Harrad Experiment] and Robert A. Heinlein [Stranger in a Strange Land]) in a manner similar to this one. First rate science fiction and first rate philosophy.

WHAT A STORY YOUR WORK GETS BETTER AND BETTER WITH EVERY STORY YOU WRITE. AN IMPRESSIVE UNDERTAKING TO WRITE A STORY OF THIS LENGTH AND BREADTH. KEEP UP THE INCREDIBLE WORK. I LOVE ALL OF YOUR STORIES THAT I HAVE READ. CAN NOT WAIT TILL YOUR NEXT SUBMISSION, LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. THANK YOU FOR THE EXPERIENCE.

Thank you and I liked the fact that you published the lot at once. It was a marathon but well worth the read. S few types and some errors/questions in the plot but overall I think it was excellent. Thank you again. This would make a good bassis for a computer game. (With two versions G and X)

Very enjoyable, can't wait to read the rest of your stories. Thank you.

What happen to Maddy? I really liked it. Was drawn in from the beginning to end. What's next?

I had been hoping for an extension of the preacher or backscatter for some months.... but wow, those dreams have been pleasantly banished by the next story i want to see continued.

Its a shame people had to vote a story badly just because they thought it was long, this deserves a 4.5-5.0/5.0 score. I hope more people override those few first votes after they read it.

I have read most of your stories (novels) and as always enjoyed it a great deal! I love how your stories always seem to judge humanity and our religions, and then dare us to improve ourselves. Furthermore i am thoroughly impressed with your knowledge regarding the middle east. ' less relivent to this story' i can only assume that you grew up either as an israeli or from a near country. I also like how you criticize both sides of the middle east conflict in a fair manner.

Regarding this story i think it is ridiculous for someone to judge a story by it's length, espeically without reading it! Personally i don't like reading stories that are split into chapters. I do agree that this should hardly be considered illustrated though. You might consider changing its location or rather adding some more illustrative pictures. You know people, places, things. Not necessarily more floor diagrams. But some faces to go with the names would be nice.

It's My Party is a science fiction adventure novel that evokes Michael Crichton's best work. I've read many of the author's previous works including Backscatter, The Preacher Man, and the saga that ends with Antelope Freeway. I can again say I want to read more from Hammingbyrd7 and I would gladly pay to do so. Thank you for once again raising the bar for erotic fiction.

I'm sorry you didn't get the Penthouse Forum stroke story you were expecting. You should check the page count not to mention your blood pressure before you stroke out (or read any more stories or novels on Lit). Great read. Bizarre and familiar at the same time. Thanks Hammingbyrd7.

Another one of Hammingbyrd7's stories that enthralled me to the end. The creativity shown in the scenarios and social simulations are thought provoking beyond most published books I have read. Only problem I ran across was the need to read passages and pages twice or thrice to comprehend the visual picture being conveyed, but after understanding the radical implifications of each twist, my only choice was to mentally applaud. I wish I could share this with my friends instead of hiding stories like Kinetic and The Preacher Man.

For the critics who complain about it being to long... well if you dislike the format of the site, copy it to a text pad and split it up however you like for yourself. It is a poor workman who blames his tools.

Thank you Hammingbyrd7 for yet another thought provoking and entertaining novel.

While this took me a 2 and a half day to read,

this story certainly had me enthralled right away.

I thoroughly enjoyed the high quality writing stile, conception of the story arches (together of course with the perfect amount of suspension added) and the beautiful images you created. Be that the constellations of characters, the dilemmas they are facing (in *every* aspect), the quality understanding of physics and a great sense of architecture.

Thought I have trouble getting the entire layout of the great hexagon into my mind (with all three levels - damn you - even the 6fold spiral is not an easy piece of work - but adding all the layers together: outside,surface, mall and deep-regions .... I haven't quite managed yet.)

I would truly like to see your ART published (for that it is) but have to sadly recognize that with the current societies viewpoint such an action will not be allowed to happen - at least not for the 'public' book-market.

Thank you very much for creating this great tale and sharing it with us,

best

-Shaya

Well, I'm glad parts were illustrated, it certainly helped with visualizing all of the somewhat confusing locations.

My only real complaint about the story is that your students are all American University students, yet are measuring things in metric, something rather unheard of in the United States. Other than that, this is an outstanding story. I found the author through "Preacher Man", and I really haven't stopped reading their work yet. It's absolutely wonderful, and I look forward to the next novel!

with such a long story is that I try to read it all at once until my eyes can't take it, before I call it quits for another day. If a story is good I just don't want to stop.<p> I can't believe readers prefer to wait months for a story to be finished ,and some never are finished, over a story that is complete. Read the story like a book, whether it's on paper or on the screen. What's the difference?

It just baffles my mind. Bitch because it's too long, bitch because it's to short. Bitch because it takes to long to be posted. Bitch because it never gets posted. Oh, well, thanks author for good entertainment.

Once again you've posted an amazing piece of work. Reading this is like reading the Sci-Fi novels of old where it's more cerebral than action. Thank you so much for sharing your work. I hope you try to get published, even if it's just through ebook places like FictionWise.<P>

That being said, a few tips. It's obvious you're a math wiz, but you need to realize that the majority of your readers won't be. It's ok to include all the detail, but like the conversations about the pyramid you need to be sure to actually explain it to the readers, generally using another character who isn't as knowledgeable. You were very good about explaining things in later chapters, but in the early ones I was completely lost. Also the diagrams were a big help, though for some odd reason they don't show up in the literotica iphone portal. <P>

Another thing I'd like to point out is your not quite getting the female perspective down a lot of the times, especially in the intimate relationship aspects. A suggestion might be to find a female you're comfortable with who can help you. Isaac Asimov actually would have his wife roleplay out most the dialogue so it was more natural. Right now your scenes feel almost forced and obviously written by a male. If you're intent on including the intimacy then it's something you'll want to work on. Someone who's a writer or actor would be the biggest help. Please don't misundersand me. I'm not talking about the sex scenes, I'm talking about the intimate relationships like the ones with Mark and his wives. They just didn't seem realistic to me. <P>

There were also a few spelling mistakes here and there, mostly mis-typings, so a spellchecker and a good editor (person not program) would also help.<P>

Like others, I'd love to read more from this universe. Maybe one story 6-10 years down the line when the rest of the jobs open up, one story maybe a 100 or so years later once civilization has bloomed and the planet is fully populated, then possibly one later once they have to meet with the alien race. <p>

Really though, I hope you're trying to get published. This is excellent quality work. Better than a lot of what's out there in bookstores nowadays.

Another amazing addition great story, the math was intergrated sublimely. I totally agree with the previous poster you should try to get your work published. Top quality.

Great work.

I am amazed at the negative comments and think they reflect more on the intellect of writer of the comments that the quality of the work they comment on. Some people are short sighted, self centered and intolerant!

I think this is a wonderful piece of science fiction. Thanks you for all the work on the story hammingbyrd7. I have appreciated this story, its depth and complexity. I have also enjoyed your other contributions and eagerly await your next one.

Dr Z

One of the better sci-fi books I've read lately. I've been glued to the computer all weekend! A nice surprise, the length, though I would like to know up front how long it is. I loved the math even though I did get lost early on in a rush to continue the story. Once again I love your writing and would buy the book. Still hoping for sequels to your other stories, espec close encounters and presacher man. Thanks!

....

I'm reading every story you wrote so far, I'm already a fan of your stories and this is the first time I leave a comment here.

I just want to say thank you so much for your incredible effort and for creating such lovely characters, when I understood this wasn't a story but a novel, my mind switched gears and took my time for read it, a week of delightful moments and ver little sleepling ^.^

The only thing I could observe in this particular work was... it ended!

I've no brain for math, so to fully understand it I had to research and study a bit, it was worth it. The hard SciFi the sexy parts and the depth of the characters of your novel made my time of read the best moment of my day.

Please, don't stop writing. And thank you so much again.

I loved this story. While I agree that submitting it in installments would make it easier to leave and come back to (hence easier to read) and that "Illustrated" is definitely the wrong category for it, the work itself is almost unrivaled on Lit. The only things I've read that are as good, IMHO, are no longer available here because they're being published.

You don't rate something a zero if the work is excellent.

I have to admit, I found out about this site froma friend, and wasn't expecting to find amazing stories like this. I was without internet access for a while and ended up reading this on my phone for lack of anything to do. It filled my day wonderfully, and I was totally captivated by it. For people who complain about the length of it, it really isn't terribly difficult to figure out the number of pages of it before you start, and if you aren't in for the entire read, click the fabulous 'back' button and go somewhere else. It also isnt hard to bookmark where you left off so you can easily find it the next day...so why mark down something you haven't even read becuase of it?

That said, it was marvelous all the way through, I would love to read more from this world farther down in the timeline...how the children would be raised would be nice^_^

My first comment here.

Thanks for an astonishing read. I really enjoyed the depth of character, and their gradual growth.

Very few typos and mistakes (sometimes you used the wrong names) or grammatical errors.

Only a few bones to pick. The understanding of physics and math of these college aged people was way beyond normal. It would have been more believable if they'd been grad students, a couple of years older, but still young enough to go to parties.

The final revelation was a little abrupt. More than 100 pages of gradually discovering what everything was about, and then filling in all of blanks in just a couple of paragraphs - it felt hurried. Needing a Blue Mall janitor to unlock more information, and thus having to search for the last missing group might have been a better option.

Still, this is a major accomplishment and a delightfully long and complex read. I've paid good money for less quality in the bookstores. Kudos.

Don't let anyone stop you. One submisson, in chapters. Who cares? You keep writing, I'll keep reading.

I seldom comment on stories here at all, but for this story i just had to make an exeption.

This is one of the the best scifi stories that i have ever read. Sure there is some math in there, but that is what SCIENCE fiction is all about :-)

For those readers that complained about the lenght... GET A LIFE! If you are not capable of dividing the story into "chapters" yourself as neccesary, you should probably stick to video instead....

To hammingbyrd7: You should definitivly try to get published. I know i would buy your stories anyway :-)

Baen books seems to be a good publisher, so why not try? The worst that can happen is that you get "no thanks" as a reply. I will certanly continue to read your stories anyway :-)

Thank you for a great read, and keep up the good work!

You could have split that into twenty installments, but i kinda like the single installment

Next story should be 4 billion years later, when the evolved humanity shows the insect species that they are bigoted fucktards.

Don't listen to the idiots who say the story was too long or you should break it into chapters. They have no patience. It was a fascinating read; it took me a week (with family and work a higher priority) to finish. I'd love to see additional stories in this story line. Your characters are well developed, you have an obsession with detail, and the theme of forgiveness permeated the tome.

I haven't read all your stories, but the ones I've read so far I've enjoyed immensely. I love science fiction and your quality is excellent, especially when you consider the length and price (free!) of such an offering.

Ignore the people who wanted to break it into chapters, it's great having it as one big piece. I do think a brief warning at the start would have been nice though. If you can, I would suggest trying to get this into the novels and novellas category, where people go to expect a long read.

As for those early commenters, can you imagine where they are coming from? They might have found this under "new" and with the title and brief description you gave, as well as it being under the illustrated category, it's easy to see how they came to the wrong initial impression. They were possibly looking for something quick and easy to get their rocks off and you presented them with a sci-fi novel with plenty of maths and no nude drawing/pics anywhere to be seen! What a disappointment that might have been.

Anyway, I came to this story because I liked your other stories, not because it was in the illustrated category.

I skipped over a lot of the math, and I did disagree with your characters about making a new religion. I liked that it was a tolerant sort of spiritualism more than a religion, but still.

Keep up the good work! If you were a published author I would buy your books.

This really is not an "erotic" story in the traditional sense. Yes, there's some sex in many forms, but it's really a soap opera, mystery, techno-thriller, science fiction piece all rolled in to one. Very well done. I have read a lot of books I found far less addictive.

Is the story long? Yes. Is it too long? Well, I didn't want it to end...so..NO.

This really is not an "erotic" story in the traditional sense. Yes, there's some sex in many forms, but it's really a soap opera, mystery, techno-thriller, science fiction piece all rolled in to one. Very well done. I have read a lot of books I found far less addictive.

Is the story long? Yes. Is it too long? Well, I didn't want it to end...so..NO.

I hearby Request a Hardcover book! Fantastic Read!

I've never left a comment, but damn, this was good. Thank you. And don't go to chapters.

I hate to read, but I couldn't stop with this one...amazing

Read it the third time. Fantastic work, can't wait for your next story!

I can't even tell you how good this story was. Your grasp of numbers and inventiveness, the level of detail, it's astounding. thank you for writing this.

I've never commented on a Literotica story before. I've never had to. But this, this fascinating labyrinth of a story, has inspired me to write. The details, the new universe that hammingbyrd has lovingly provided us are the best piece of storytelling I've read on this site. There's not enough sex, sure -- and most of the sex is too violent to really be arousing for my states -- but the captivating setting and the mathematical precision to it all was enough to keep me from sleeping many nights this last week. I loved the mystery! And there aren't too many typos, either! I think an earlier commenter made a great point about the reveal being a little too early and the unresolved issue of the 17 blue mall women too glaring. I've known some pretty disgusting frat boys in my time, but none of them compare to these. It feels like it was the easiest stereotype available in the college-age group around which your story revolves. And who are we kidding -- Mark is just kind of a pussy.

Actually, let's talk about Mark. He's the typical male hero in romantic literature. He's smart, handsome, manly and strong enough to be dangerous but an absolute softie when in comes to women and sex. He is surrounded by horny, beautiful coeds, and yet he possesses godlike patience in turning away their plentiful advances. This is why I found his character to be unbelievable. He's too perfect -- he lacks any sort of masculine sexual aggression, any sort of reason for the women surrounding him to be afraid. He's too gentle, too perfect; he is the embodiment of feminine fantasy. You could swap his character traits and personality for any number of masculine romantic heros and hardly tell the difference. And that, sadly, is to the detriment of the story. I wanted to see Mark valiantly fuck all the women around him -- this would be an easy way to inject more prurient sex into the story if you wanted this to be a piece of erotic fiction.

This story is not perfect, but I loved it. I loved the sci-fi aspect way more than I loved the characters, but that is minor. One more thing about people complaining about the length of the story: I loved it. It sort of brought me into the story in the same way the characters walked into the Castlewealth Commons -- expecting a quick, fun party, but instead entering an incomprehensible labyrinth with no end in sight. As I read 20, 30 pages, I started to wonder what I had gotten my self into, and it wasn't until page 40 when I finally took the time to realize I wasn't even halfway done. And I read it all with pleasure.

I'm going to read the rest of your stories, hammindbyrd. Thanks for this!

can anyone read such a long story?????????

i am surprised...........

I honestly cannot comprehend the people saying the story is too long. What's wrong with you people? This story was interesting from front to back. Occasionally finding epic stories like this is the only reason I visit this site - the short masturbatory tales which are apparently popular here are of no interest to me. It could have been in a different category, however. Perhaps Sci-Fi?

I've read most of your stories, and thoroughly enjoyed them - especially the long ones. Your writing style is unique (lots of information, mathematical details, etc) and takes a little getting used to, but I've come to look forward to it when I read your stories. You're a great writer. I can't wait for your next epic story, and I hope it's just as long as this one.

Keep it up!

This is a very well-written and thought provoking story. I hope that you are able to get some of your work published.

One continuity error: On page 20 (as the story is formatted for this website) you say the following:

At the end of Green Mall was a terminal food store identical in size to the one in Red Mall, but having a more European selection of foods.

Every other occasion after this, you refer to the green mall terminal store as the Hilton Conference Center.

Keep up the superb work!

Like several people above, I've never commented on a literotica story before, but this was a wonderful read. I've just finished it for the second time, having originally read it months ago, but it's stayed on my mind. The characterization and violent sexual depiction were not to my personal tastes, but the world-building and the unfolding of each stage of the plot were genuinely excellent by any standard. Thank you for offering your work to use hammingbyrd7, I sincerely hope you have good fortune getting published if that is one of your goals.

Great story! Thoroughly enjoyable!

wow, that was an amazing story, it took a while to read but it was worth it! i wish it didn't end just there though, part two would be nice lol

I am disheartened by the early slams that this story received. In a way I guess I can understand their disappointment in expecting one thing and getting something else. But when the something else is so much more that what I was expecting I usually rejoice just as I am now.

I accidentally tripped over this story and I have never read any of your other work but I found this story to be exceptional, thrilling, riveting, a masterful stroke of the pen... I could go on and on with my praise. If it had been a paperback I doubt I would have put it down. As it was, my most difficult challenge was finding my place when I switched from my desktop to my mobile phone. I solved that very quickly simply by reading to the end of a page on one device and finding the next page on the other device. Throughout the entire story I kept thinking that I would love to see James Cameron or Peter Jackson make a movie out of this story. My imagination and math ability simply aren't adequate enough to really piece this world together visually in my mind. I wish the illustrations had included some landscapes , room layouts or faces.

To find such a well thought out story with characters that are carefully developed with so many layers and so much depth is what i expect of published works that i pay for; yet I am still often disappointed in what I actually get for my money. You are the type of author that i would watch for and wait on "pins and needles" for your next book. Getting this kind of quality for free is far beyond my expectations.

For those who complained about the length... get a life. You don't have to read anything here and it is ridiculous to judge something you didn't read. After reading the story, I believe that it would have gotten more favorable exposure under the Sci- Fi category. I have read hundreds of stories here and very few have kept me so well captivated. I will be forwarding the link to this story to other sci-fi readers whom i hope will appreciate it as much as i did. I hope that at some point you will tell us more of what happened with the colony and how they handled their meeting with the beings who exterminated Earth.

This story definitely deserves the 5 rating i gave it. I hope you will choose to ignore the negative reviews and keep posting here as well as seek to be published in print and convert to TV/film

blackgold says it all. this story is amazing.... honestly, getting this for free is almost a crime. i loved this story hopefull you can get this published, it's well deserved! i'm on my second read, and i would still buy this book! thank you for this, its been fun!

I almost wish that you hadn't posted it here, so that you could publish it! The story was so complex and rich! I admit, the architecture talk did get a little tedious at times, but I suppose it was necessary to really understand how the place was laid out, and that was important to the plot. Some of the sex scenes were a little confusing, especially the uterus talk... I don't usually feel anything in mine, perhaps other women are different? It was a little jarring when you mentioned a cervix being dialated—typically that is pretty painful.

However, your writing was so good, and your story so compelling, that I continued reading even though it involved graphic depictions of rape, which I usually avoid like the plague. The end was fantastic—it really wrapped up the mystery and yet left a little behind for the imagination. Thanks for the great read!

I'm so stunned by this I almost don't know what to write. This is so amazing. The Scope, the characters, everything is so amazing. And really touching. I almost shed tears for saphires sacrifice.

So long I thought I wouldn't finish it for a few days. I finished in 2! The writing was captivating. The characters drew you in, the multiple threads/plots were just great. In my favs to read again and again. Can't wait to check out the rest of your writing!

u are a brilliant writer!!!!..... i havent seen another story so well developed and amazingly written..... usually when we read a long story here it starts to get boring once we get to the middle or towards the end...but ur story......it kept me at the end of my seat for days right till the end!!!!......ur a genius man....keep up the excellent work..

With the exception of the miutia about the "jump rings" that was soooooo redundant, I think it's a great story. Too bad for those of us reading who are "only human" and don't understand some of the gruelling mathematical details, the essence of the story remains.

Wow! I thought I'd never get to the end of this story! I started reading it before Literotica would tell you the total number of pages in a story, and it just kept going and going - but that's a good thing! I always wondered what would be revealed next and how things would turn out. It was truly a great story. I won't go into much detail with that point, or this review will never end. I will say that the characters were excellent (even if the darker ones were more disturbing), and the plot made sense. It would be very interesting to see a sequel to this - I'm interested how far-off future events would unfold.

I've read a number of your stories, and they all seem to have the same theme running through them: broken humanity, a minority that chooses better, struggles against evil. I say this because, oddly enough, I've learned a lot about God and love through your writings ("oddly enough" because this is Literotica). And I've made better choices in my life because I've seen love in action and how people can choose to consider others ahead of themselves. A simiple "Thank you" doesn't suffice, so I'll add: Keep writing!! You have great talent.

wow - I was really caught up with the story. I didn't get all the math - maybe a few more pictures of the structures with the different colours of the mall would have helped. But totally loved it.

You should get it published : )

Thank you again

What an amazing story, I found it purely by chance as I've never looked at the Illustrated section before. You lost me on some of the mathematical descriptions but what a great story.

This should be published. Could even be the "Foundation" for a great series, or even a serial !

I just wanted to join all those who praise this story. A great read, lovely story, page-turner (or is it screen scroller). No problem to read to the end, that happened more or less by itself.

Really a great story.

The story was too fucking good! Just the perfect blend of sci fi and eroticism! And I totally agree with the others who said so..you seriously should get this published!

Thank you so much for that engrossing story. You have a fantastic imagination.

I actually read this for the story, not the sex. I pretty much skipped all the sex parts. I kinda got tired of everyone "petting". For me, that word describes how we touch our pets, not how we touch our equals.

You deserve payment for this storey it was remarkable. I Will check out your other writting for sure. I coppied and pasted this comment.

"What an amazing story, I found it purely by chance as I've never looked at the Illustrated section before." Same here, I was so lucky !

Really enjoyed the Storey, my wife was wondering what the hell was going on, I couldn't stop reading, I'm usually a short storey reader. Litrotica should seek a film company to produce a R but better still a x movie with a big name director, you'd create a block buster. Cheers and thanks for great read, much appriciated.

I loved all the development. It's like Hunger Games meets Cube meets Inception. Amazing!

i started reading this in the middle of the night thinking it was going to be a 5 page erotic, generic story. please for the love of all that is good, publish this and make yourself some money from this becAuse this has been one of the best works I've read. literotica should not be the place you present this. it's just too good! I'd complain about length but in reality, th audience you have presented it to is for people used to reading 5 minute insta orgasms. I love your style and keep on writing dear!

So pleased I stumbled on this. Best story I've read on here!

This was absolutely fabulous. I was expecting a two page sex scene. But as I kept reading I realized this was way better than I could have hoped for. I agree with the idea that you shpuld get this published. it is most definitely worthy I think. Keep it up.

Very well wwritten. I ccouldnt stop reAading.

Let me just say, I usually use this site for a quick thrill and save my length reading for books and things of that nature. I don't think I've ever read anything longer than 5 pages on this site. I found your story in the Illustrated Hall of Fame in the new menu set-up. I read the very first page, groaned when I saw it was 110 pages, read the 2nd page and couldn't put it down again. I honestly believe if you toned down the sexuality to something at least R-rated (there wasn't that much anyway considering it's a 110 page Literotica story), you could have an NYT Best Seller on your hands that could get turned into a movie. I read a lot, and this is one of the most fantastic stories I have ever read. Thank you.

I, like the others enjoyed the read mostly. The descriptions of the layout are too complex and too wordy. I gathered pretty early on the this wasn't going to be the usual 'sex fest' but I did feel the ending was too abrupt after having invested so much time in the characters.

A bit like one of those 3 hour movies where you expect it to all tie up at the end yet all of a sudden you are watching the credits an feeling a bit empty.

Overall: needs cuts and improved illustrations - brilliant ideas!

Dear hammingbyrd7,

I find the setting of your story (and not only this one) truly astounding. The stettings and plots, the way you use our created world to carry deeper sense is absolutely professional.

The science and math involved might not be everyones favorite but keep it up. It is definitely one of your assets and there are certainly those who enjoy it and if someone does not understand it they can just skip it like I am skipping some of the sex scenes.

In my humble opinion on the micro level there is some polishing to be done, especially on the dialogues between your otherwise quite plastic characters. These are sometimes repetitive and monotonous.

Over all I believe that some rework, some polishing would make this a story well worth publishing. I would buy it anyway. There is certainly published books of much lesser promise than this work.

For a free story however this is better and more than anyone can ask for.

About publishing the story in one big chunk: thanks for that! Reading mostly on a mobile device I really hate navigating around on the website to find the next chapter I like this much better and besides: dont people have some self respect and can decide for the selves when to stop reading or even if they want to read something or not. Adults should be able to take some responsibility for what they do.

Keep up the work. 5 stars!

Luckily I am only half through your stories so far.

Thanks for many pleasant hours,

K.

Thank you for posting this all as one long story, instead of splitting it up into chapters. All I had to do was to remember what page I was on when I took a break from reading, instead of hunting for the next chapter online. The story was fascinating and so creative. I've never read anything like it. I hope you will someday consider publishing a toned-down version (fewer vulgar/ detailed rape scenes to appeal to people that would never read literotica). People need to read it! :)

Nice Story bro.

The hell!

Like The Vinci Code Story or somethin. .

Hope you make a book of it bro.

I guarantee, IT WILL BE A BIG HIT!

=)

The first time I read one if your stories I was looking for something sexy with plots. However sex with plot is a rarity. The math and science was a bit overwhelming and to be honest I don't recall most of that information. I was really surprised at the length of the story and the ending was abrupt. But it cleared many of the questions up but left even more. I would like to see more of this universe you created perhaps jump 20 years and introduce more detailed characters. You did a great job on all of it but I was not a big fan of the graphic death scenes. Keep up the good work. Now to find another of your stories.

Very detailed and imaginative. Didn't get all of the math bits but I'm sure a lot of thought and effort came in to the story.

Well done !

Absolutely fantastic! Interesting use of metric measures for US students but it works. Keep up the great work!

This was a truly amazing novel. The amount of effort and detail that went into its making just boggles my mind. PLEASE publish this. You deserve the appreciation that publishing this story will bring you.

I have never seen anything close to such a detailed vision. Reading your masterpiece was both a challenge and a delight.

Thank you for taking the time to craft this unbelievable story!

Publish this!!! amazing! i couldnt stop reading it!!!!

This universe you have created is as made fore a hardcover book. I can see this novel being the first book in a long series of books. You could easily create a fortune on book series based on this.

The story could be needing some cleaning up to be published but i think that could be easily done. If done i think this could be the next Foundation.

P.S I see that you hasnt written anything in a while. If you has stopped writing it's a loss for the world. If you hasnt stopped I think everybody would appreciate a comment from you commenting our comments.

Don't stop writing

This story is deeply engrossing, intellectually stimulating, and richly detailed both in terms of setting and character. I've been reading through Hammingbyrd7's stories one at a time, and I would describe all of them in those terms. The action, the puzzles, and the suspense of trying to figure out what will happen would have kept me reading for another 110 pages. "It's My Party" should definitely be published.

I was certainly not expecting to read this type of a story when I came across this website, or that I would become completely engrossed in it. Very well written. I agree with some of the other comments, this story if you have the drive could be a successful series, and I'd definitely be in line to buy a copy. Keep up the excellent imagination.

UNUSUAL WITH BROAD TOPICS fast paced and surprises at every turn

Please publish and create a sequel please!!

I've only read up to page 10, and I'm completely captivated.

I don't see the problem other people have with everything being in one huge chunk, it's a lot easier to have everything in one story. I will definitely keep reading until the last word.