All Comments on 'Intrusive Neighbour Ch. 01'

by EagerlyAwaited

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  • 9 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Shit...

Um, story line was weak, spelling/grammar was atrocious and it was just simply poorly written.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
more

i think that this is cute! please keep writing dont listen to the nasty comments!

marklionmarklionabout 15 years ago
A Nice Chapter

That was a nice Chapter. I can hardly wait to see how you develop the characters of Hank and Anna in future chapters. The bedroom sequence seemed a little quick and a little better on the weak side. It was a good start to the series. Please do not worry about the negative comments from some of these readers.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
<i>Very</i> Mills & Boon!

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Plus bad spelling and grammar, flimsy plotting, etc.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
get help

Get some help in spelling and grammer. Your spelling of words using a version common 400 years ago that has since been changed to a more modern one is bad. Take this single example "neighbor" not the old "neighbour" get real and modern.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Keep trying

The use of neighbour is totally acceptable if you are using the true English spelling and not the American English form. I did not enjoy the story but dislike to negativity of many of the people who post comments. Why not try to be constructive when critiquing these submissions. If your own abilities at writing are better than that of EagerlyAwaited, why not send a private message and offer advice on how to improve structure, plot and grammar. Offer you services as a voluntary editor.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Interesting story.

I look forward to seeing where it goes.

And to the anon concerned with spelling: Neighbor is often still spelled with the "our " if you are from Europe. (and the author is)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Well, nice, but.......

The basic story idea was actually pretty good. But first, it needs an editor. (Please, "trough" as an error once is a typo; twice is carelessness.) Then, there are some logical disconnect issues. Beth is more like age 25, in the way she acts. Anna is closer to age 12. And the sex scene was, to be kind, implausible. Again, the concept was good; the writing needs a little help.

-- KK in Texas

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

5 stars

Anonymous
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