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Oh...
i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!
That was a fantastically hot story. Keep 'em coming, please!!
wow, excellent...
Lucia - how very good again - so realistic, and the detail... made me so turned on, again... and that is saying something, as I came reading your Nurse Lucia story... you have such a way with detail, and making time stop so that you can bring to life each and every little event... I loved it, very much, as I have all the others that I have read..
Powerful and direct.
And just a little bit sloppy. I highly suggest an editor. I counted about 5 grammar/spelling/word choice issues, and in a story this short they stand out a little.
Also, I found the phrase "...his cock ceased to leak cum..." a bit cumbersome. Nothing major, it just didn't flow well for me.
I still gave you a 5, in hopes you'll remember me next time I go shopping in a Canadian mall...
First Story
I agree with you Chimney Sweep, this was actually my first erotic story, written in 2005 long before I ever found literotica to upload to. I think it is a far cry from my newer stories, and I hope that I am improving :)
Damn girl, I'm in fuckin' love with you :)
hey it's Adam
easily one of your best stories ;)
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