by OnlyaFantasy
I just love it when a writer puts so much effort into a story.Do you work for NBC? Pistolpackinpete
...Please take your time to build up the story and the sexual tension. The concepts are good and the storyline have potential but you are suffering from premature ejaculation! The son storms in and is slowly seduced by the stepmother before reluctantly and guiltily giving in - maybe over a period of days. That is followed by a period of time where she continually seduces him in more and more exciting ways that increase the scope of his betrayal and slowly reduces his guilt (in the house with father, on the phone to wife, with father drugged in the room before murdering him, with wife tied up - maybe she goes mad and they frame her for the murder of father etc, etc)
Have another go! Great fantasy.
Clearly I am trying to audition to be a writer for NBC with this story. Really, does someone think that they're going to read from that kind of talent here? Yeah, this story needed a lot more but I moved on to other projects. The only reason I submitted these short things is that some fans wanted them regardless of how much story and character development was involved. I am simply clearing out the old stuff from the attic by request.
from the attic. Sounds pretty arrogant and still no excuse for not making some effort to make it a story.
These were stories I had no intention of posting or working on further. They are on here by request of fans who wanted it regardless of how short, how little story and actual time spent on it by me was involved. This wasn't written for arrogant jerk-offs who like to leave comments about how bad a a story is and how bad the writer is, no matter how rhetorical it all is. Never meant to be a good story, never meant to be a posted story. So get off your high horse. If the story wasn't worth your time reading it, then why take your time to comment?
love the controlling step mother who uses sex and lust to get her step son to do what she wants. But the story is weak. no build up during the sex scenes, and you dont really get the feeling that he is enthralled/mezmerized into agreeing to kill his wife and father.
Very nice! The poor old birth mother. First she loses her husband to this voluptuous young "bitch", now she won the loyalty (and tongue) of her little boy! Is there a stepdaughter in the house?
the stepmom shows her dominance brilliantly. actually the stepson deserves condemnation. while the son is married, why he should poke his nose into his fathers' affair showing disrespect to his father and disloyalty to his wife ? when his father marries stepmom, she should be given due respect by her stepson and step daughter- in- law.i dont find anything wrong in what stepmom did .
well written and deliciously evil and sexy enough she-devil!! ;)) wish for more chapters!! ;))