by DreamerOne
I loved it. It was so sweet! and the sex was way hot!
I just wish it was longer, not more chapters but more fleshed out (although i would love to read more about Kyle and Dean).
No offense to your writing. i just liked how sweet the story was and wanted more. Greedy :P
Hope to see more of you
Storyline a bit overdone. Cant work out how many roomies have wasted time by not declaring their love for each other. Cant say I was that lucky at varsity. Everybody was a striaght arrow lol. You write clearly and decriptively , is English your home language as you have expressed yourself well. Dont believe that the story has legs. There needs to be some form of delicious anticipation in terms of developing the relationship and feelings. A second chapter will be different setting but more of the same They have already got to know each other. If they love each other so much are they likely to engage in a menage a trois. All said well done keep writing
You started out slow and then sped up. It would have been nice to have the story longer with more info. But wonderful first story! You need to keep writing.
Marvelous start. Needs continuing drama. GREAT job.
A good first effort. It could use another chapter or two. Going to read your other stories now.
Great story though I feel it was a start rather than a story in itself. . I really liked it and would love to see more chapters.
It was a really good start to a story but it kinda feels like somethings missing. Please write more and finish the story off as good as you started it.
It is a really good story but it needs more to finish it off right. Please write another chapter or make the first one longer and more in depth. Keep up the really good writing and I hope to read more from you soon.
it´s a greate story one of the best I ever read congrats... hope to read more
Only three letters can describe this story and that's all........O.....M.....G.
First attempt or not, your story is wonderful! Engaging, emotional, and beautiful. I just noticed a second chapter, and will be reading it immediately. Again, well done DreamerOne!
An excellent first story. Discovering this in January 2021, I’m excited there is more to read!