All Comments on 'The Poet as a Young Girl'

idea of poem is good, just kinda rough all around. Maybe more jewish symbol would work. "With vocal tones that smiled/As sad as violins/She heard in bed at night." Here the phrasing is most awkward for me. I'd just re-write it, remove the smiled/sad pairing, keep the idea of "in bed at night" and the reminiscience of sad voice. I always read your poems when they're posted, it seems like you're on the verge of knocking out some strong ones if you concentrate on the utility of each line and image.

Actually, I think the understated history of the numbers is just right, enough that you get the meaning of the numbers without making it a poem about the holocaust (not that there is a problem with holocaust poems, but that is not the intention of this poem, from what I can tell.) It is such a heavy topic, any more mention of it would outweigh the delicacy of the theme of this poem-- the taking the scars and marks live leaves on us and moving forward, remembering the past but pushing the next generations ahead, not getting stuck.

I think this poem could stand to be trimmed down, too wordy, in my opinion. A great idea for a poem, I know this poet could take this poem further.

This gave me shivers--even as I write, some minutes later, the shivers linger in my body. I am not capable of analyzing a poem with the clarity you bring to a critique, but to me, the effect on the reader is the greatest testament to poetic excellence.

I have been reading through several of your poems today, often giving them 5 stars. My shivers compelled me to convey their comment.