All Comments on 'Best Friend, First Time'

by jwy12

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  • 26 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Seven foot cock?

A guy with a seven foot cock and a friend with a nine foot cock together. What are the possibilities? Endless. I assume you meant 7" and 9". Also, It's you're gay, not your gay. You are is much different than your. The sentences are ragged. They are either fragmented or riddled with crazy commas. Read your story aloud first before you submit it. You will catch a lot of these mistakes first that way and make it easier for us to enjoy your work. I'm sure that someone will follow this comment with something along the lines of, "Don't listen to that guy. We don't care about stuff like that. Your story is hot," but that wouldn't be helping you like these suggestions hopefully will. Your story has promise and you displayed a very enthusiastic interest in the subject. Don't give up, just be more careful and perhaps use the writer resources found at the opening menu here.

0ra11yfix8ed0ra11yfix8edalmost 15 years ago
It is HOT!!!

But the errors are distracting. Writing the first draft is exciting, I'll bet you were hard most of the time! Editing is hard work! Run it through Word's spell and grammar check or any good word processor. Don't give up! You show promise. And an aside to those who leave comments; at least create an ID so you don't have to be anonymous!

jwy12jwy12almost 15 years agoAuthor
To Anonymous

I wish you left your name so I could thank you or maybe use you as an editor in the future. I know I need a lot of help, but if I spent forever on re-reading it over and over I would catch so many mistakes I would chicken out and not post anything cause it wasn't good enough.

I thought it turned out ok for a first story, and thanks to constructive advice from people like you I know the next one will be better, in the realm of structure... at least.

Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Congratulations

You have had the balls to write a sexually stimulating piece. Not a bad first attempt at all. Comments made below are valid and hopefully your next submssion won't be as distracting. By the way if ones name is Teddy it hardly sounds macho. He must also have a hose pipe for a dick as he ejaculated 22 times. Wow we could use him for insemination programmes. Keep writing. Will look out for more submissions. Thanks

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Hot

i loved it. i hope u keep writing :)

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
NICE

well damn. that was hot.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
well done

i'm quite impressed.

hardworkerhardworkerabout 13 years ago
Awesome

Dude, you need to write another. Read a lot of lit stores, and this was one of the best ever. Truly smoking hot. Rock hard here.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Holy shit

Your such a good writer!! U need to write more!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
wow

this was good. like watching porno good.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
OMG

Super hot!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago

My friend Graeme and I had been out, we went to a nightclub, he picked up a girl, but right at the end of the night, he came back and said she backed out. We went back to his flat, where he was staying with his cousin Colin, a car was parked outside, sshhhh, we let ourselves in the kitchen, we heard noises, Colin was on his knees on the lounge being fucked by a guy, he was deep in his arse, Colins hand on his cock. My cock was hard as the guy went faster and then slowed, he pulled out, Colins arsehole glistening with cumm, his cock shiny. We moved back and went into his room, he just dropped his pants his cock bouncing out,thick and long, fuck I gotta cumm as he slowly stroked himself, he looked at me and said dont fancy a fuck do you, I didn't answer, I knew he was mucking around but I was so horny. He looked at me, then realised, what, I dropped my pants my hard cock sticking straight up, not as long or as thick as his, i'll give it a try. Graeme looked surprised, fuck yeah, I heard him in the bathroom, I was about to back out, when he came back, a tube in his hand, i got on all fours, i felt some lube squirt onto my hole, then the hard slick head against me, his hands on my hips,small movements, then a little push and my hole opened, pain, my head shot back, he pushed some more, the head was in me, less pain, i felt him pulse, fuck im cumming as warmth filled my arse, his cock moving further into me, touching my insides, aaggh as my cumm shot onto the bed, powerful jets as he kept fucking my arse, faster, my cock leaking and then with a final thrust, i felt him pulse again and whatever cumm he had left entered my arse. He pulled out, are you o.k, i said yeh, my insides were a little sore but I knew i would do it again.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Not bad at all, realistic, totally plausible

The story has a happy ending.

His ex-girlfriend's brother fucked him well.

He craved to bottom for him but was not ready to admit that to himself.

The position where the bottom is facing up, his legs up around top's ribcage or over the shoulders, is very erotic. The bottom gives himself to the top.

The kissing was the icing on the cake.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
THIS IS A 5-STAR STORY. TOTALLY EROTIC.

Unluke some other readers, I did NOT pay attention to commas & stuff.

I concentrated on the tension between the two of them. The depiction of love making was very convincing, masterly, so much so a muscle in my ass was having contractions & i felt heavenly warmth in that part of my body.

I wish Teddy were my friend. I wish i woke up him behind me spooning me, his breath on my shoulders, & me kissing the back of his hand...

Before Teddy fucked him he kept begging him, "Plese... please..." Teddy knew the answer...

☆☆☆☆☆

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
LIKE IT

:-)

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
When your best friend fucks you the sex has that emotional component, which can meke you happier, more passionate and insatiable

Nice story

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Five-Star Stuff!

When i even imagine that my former colleague Dave is pressing his bare strong chest against my bare back and his dick against my ass hole, i already get aroused & my ass becomes hot.

Dave just vould not have LTR with a woman. HOWEVER when he had a bi curious man to squeeze, he was doing it extremely well... & then some... & then again. He never let you feel ashamed.

He was strong as a horse, you knew you could not escape his grip even if you wanted to... but you did not. You simply surrendered to his overwhelming strength... with utmost pleasure.

When i was already on my back, my legs in the air over his muscular upper arms, & he was French kissing me, i broke the kiss & whispered on his ear, "Dave, i want you to fuck me.... this will be my first time..."

Riki1942rRiki1942rover 6 years ago
Best Friend

GREAT story! I have never been fucked by a friend that I know from the times before I knew that I was gay. I have become emotionally attached to a couple of guys over a few weeks of knowing them and having sex. It's a slower process and I suppose it's not the same as it is your first time with a guy who happens to be your best friend. The part that makes me feel close is the first time that I start doing it bareback with someone and I take his load up my ass. There is no way to describe how good that makes me feel.

Equus7Equus7about 6 years ago
Hot action

I really enjoyed your hot story. I like stories that are first time and sound true! Keep writing!

Riki1942Riki1942over 5 years ago
The Way I Like It

That's just the way I like it! When a guy starts to cum I like him to shove it in me as deep as he can get it and hold it there while he shoots; just making those humping motions against my ass without actually pulling it out any, like he is trying to force his load even deeper inside me. It always seems to take Viagra but, if he can stay hard and in my ass after cumming and keep fucking me, the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of me all slick with his first load is beyond words!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago
Too much for me

What a fantastic story. I came two times. I wanked hard, but did not shoot till you shot your load. Mine went all over my stomach and hand. I had pulled my jockstrap down to my knees, and this kept my cock hard even after my load was all over me. So I kept on rubbing, and sure enough, just like your story, this built up till I had to stand up. When you came, I shot another huge load up into the air. Most landed on my pretty jockstrap, and when I had finished cumming, I pulled it up and it looked gorgeous as it was still semi hard and loads of sticky creamy spunky all over it. Lovely, but very tiring.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
What the hell?

How could anyone get off on this. The writing was fucking horrid. I started off with a hardon and finished with a dead fish lying on the shore. If you don't know how to edit a story then read what literotica has to say.

james1801james1801over 1 year ago

My god you know how to write! That was SO hot. I do wish you'd write more. 👍

horacenadirhoracenadir9 months ago

Amazing, please write some more.

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