All Comments on 'April Enslaved Ch. 01'

Not a big fan of forced sex of any kind, but the story was well-written. The only major flaws of any type seemed to be the girl's name changing from April, to Lisa, then back to April, plus the change from past tense to present tense, then back to past tense. If you are writing in the present tense, keep things in the present tense unless you are writing about things which occurred previously ("he is walking toward me, just as he did last night", or "he is walking toward me, grabs hold of me, and shoves me to the ground", not "he is walking toward me, then he shoved me to the ground"). Writing in present tense is a very difficult task because of our natural tendencies to try to tell stories as past events rather than current occurrences. It is much easier to tell people about something which has already happened rather than something which is currently happening. The only other time that you should switch from past to present is when quoting something which someone said previously (a famous President once said, "The only thing we have to fear is, fear itself"), or during dialogue between two characters who are talking about events which occurred at different times ("he told her he wouldn't, but now he is having sex with his ex-girlfriend"). Keeping the tenses straight in your story will help the reader decipher when events occurred and will keep them reading your story rather than trying to piece together who is doing what to whom. Please, keep writing though! Don't let friendly criticism and suggestions dissuade you from continuing on to future chapters. Use these tips to improve your writing!

Nonetheless, thank you for writing such a sad story.

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can't wait for more

I give this a 100 rating even though I did not like the subject matter. My rating is based simply on the good writing. This is a talented writer and I hope she continues to contribute to this site.

Incidently I rated her other posting at 100 and in this case I loved the subject matter also.

Continue. This is one of the best stoties in the net

wrong area as usual for this site use the proper catagory get a good editor do a rewrite and put it where it belongs

Hands down the best writing I've seen on this site. The details are so realistic and puts one right in the moment.

A hot story about being forced.

Its always tricky, do you want it or not, are you glad or not. It is a very hot story.

Whilst I agree that dads should always break-in their daughters,,,it should be lovingly and gentle to give them a good loving start to sex,,not like this forced r**e,,,that was just greedy,, thoughtless and self indulgent

I just don't like rape. It is brutal, sadistic and demeaning.

I'm not at all a fan of forced dom/sub situations, so it should come as no surprise that I think dad is a piece of shit (just like this story).