All Comments on 'Unexpected Forgiveness'

The story skips a few paragraphs from the end. Bad edit.

Build-up for story was great. Set-up for ending was awfully quick. Change in voices was a little confusing. But, overall, a very good story.

The changes in cases are very distracting. Perhaps a change in type face would clue the reader in. The ending was a bit sudden. I am still wondering how he started the new dialogue and why she suddenly decided that he was serious. If she had been cheating we would have a steady chorus of "Once a cheater, always a cheater!"

You had a good story here, POV changes aside..

But we all wanted to see the reconciliation and you cheated us out of it. We all wanted to see the "talk" he had with Gail to get back.

<p>On one hand I thought there are a few issues. </p>

<p>I also hated the Point of view thing. I mean the story starts off with the main character telling it from his view point, then you shift to Gail talking (and you spelled it Gale a few times), then you switched to third person view quite a bit. I have to admit I was lost a few times.</p>

<p>The ending where you went from him talking to his brother in-law to Gail and him in bed, was a transition that I had to read a couple times before I got what you were intending. The weird thing was I don't know why or how they ended back up together? That was kinda of short.</p>

<p>The last thing I read was Gail saying she'll fight him for custody, then......what? What was the time line? That night? That week? That month? What? What did he say to get Gail to talk to him after embarrassing her at work with his custody suit? Basically what happened there?</p>

<p>But on the other hand, in all it wasn't too bad. When he kissed Gail and she erupted at their daughters birthday party, I knew why before I even read the next line. I knew someone who did something similar and the same thing happened to him. So that got a chuckle out of me. I could identify with the character because I either knew people or someone who was just this stupid.</p>

<p>But I have to ask, what was Gail doing during all of this? Sitting on her thumbs? I know she was a mother, but she had to be entertaining as well? Right?</p>

<p>Not bad, but at times hard to follow, but thanks for the posting regardless</p>

-Risq

The abrupt ending was rough. POV problems still. Other than that, terrific story. I actually know guys like this. Construction or trades guys who grew up in family firms. Most are pretty arrogant and small minded. They drink, whore around, cheat vendors and customers alike, and lie to their wives and ignore their kids unless they win a game or whatever. These assholes sometimes find Jesus and stop drinking, but then they become pompous 'lay leaders' in the church and look down their nose at others still. He will not change.

it pretty much crashed at the end.

<P>

First of all, keep a consistent POV. Ever so often this switched from Greg narrating in the first person to third person mentioning Greg.

<P>

OK, you're learning, but omitting everything about what I assume is the reconciliation was just too much to overlook. This jumped from his brother in-law trying to talk some sense in him to him and Gail fucking. As is I can't see giving this a higher rating.

Many of the criticisms I might make have already been stated by other readers, so I won't repeat them. But there are several more that I feel are important and that could improve the writing. First, there is an important element of contradiction in the entire story. Our "hero" Greg states in the beginning of the story that his father (Dan) taught him several important things. One of these was keeping one's word, because "a man's word is all he has, when it comes right down to it." Why doesn't that apply to his wedding vows? Aren't those vows, in part, a man's word to be faithful? Second, Greg left his daughter in the tub to go get a beer. One does not leave a five year old child alone in the bath, even for a few minutes. Children drown in bathtubs -- it happens all the time. In fact, the Consumer Products Commission reports that more American children age 5 or under drown in bathtubs than in any other product in the home. Maybe getting her to the hospital was responsible, but the problem would not have occurred in the first place had he not left her alone to get some alcohol. Third, this story belongs in a different category in my opinion. Romance might be better. Non-erotic is more descriptive (sorry, the sex scenes did not impress). The only loving wife aspect of this story is the idea that Gail would take Greg back after all his cheating. Generally it's the woman who strays in LW stories, or at least, there is a lot of love from the woman/wife even if she is not cheating. But honestly, despite the good sex, was there any evidence that Gail and Greg had a truly loving relationship? Very slight if any. They essentially had a shotgun wedding -- those types of marriages have a far higher divorce rate than average. Greg lies to his wife frequently about his cheating, and he disrespects her by kissing her with another woman's scent on his face. Gail was always tearing Greg a new one, except when he was sexually satisfying her. It just did not fit "Loving Wives" for me. I've liked your other stories a lot more.

Slirpuff,

Great story enjoyed by this old romantic. I'd love to pre-edit one of your stories. U F was a great story of Love, Gail was a(faithful) Wife. Definitly a "Loving Wives" story.

"I" could read between the lines that Gail, did not give up on GREG! One statement, just one would clarify this for those who did not get it. ..."Twenty" calls from Gail! did she want to bust my balls that bad, does she hate me that much? Gail, never said a word to Randi demeaning me... Tammy is MY family yet she sides with Gail. Dad looks at me with a tear in his eye when Gail' name comes up, what am I missing here?

Sliruff, for you(and I)the brother in law stepped up and made that statement. Just too late for story flow perhaps.

Keep writing and I'll look forword to enjoyong your stories.

Xtremedd

I am rating this for the story and am ignoring the difficulties mentioned by others. I felt that I got to know Greg, your character development with him was excellent. If you are going to skip time or change POV you should make a section break and make sure that your readers know immediately what you did. Some here even put in headers with the POV person's name.

I am a little surprised that the hang-em at all costs comments have not appeared. It seems that they are only after the wives. People can change, as your story suggests. I really liked the last few sentences, he knows his weakness is still there, so he protects himself and his family by having his wife handle it! Well done. - Ttom

stinking piece of crap. And the story was lame too.

I saw the double standard rise in this one... If she had fucked everything in sight after they got married there would have been no way he would have taken her back. Plus that, every commenter hear would be screaming "WIMP" if he had!!! So what gives?

What happened between talking to the brother in law and make up sex??? Why in the world would she take him back? The the guy is a stupid ho...

I loved the persistence of Gail - she truly loved her man - BUT, I have to say if it was the woman behaving as Greg did, I'd throw her out on her ass.

I am probably a male chauvinist but I feel good about Gail taking him back. She is the true lover and wife in this story - great respect to her - just NEVER trust Greg - keep an eye on him.

I'm happy about the happy ending, though, I guess once a sucker (for love), always a sucker - but so be it !!!

The man is such a self-centered, dishonest jerk that it's a wonder that anyone can identify with him. Slifpuff's stories are interesting for their plots, but the male characters are mostly immature jerks.

and Greg would have been the bitch in this case. Kissing Gail after going down on another woman would have been cause for homicide. But other than that, it's not worth going to jail for, so a divorce is the best option - she kept her dignity by putting him down and not wanting his share of the family business. Personally if I was her I wouldn't take him back because he's not trustworthy, but I guess the author's intent was that she had enough love for him (hidden behind a storm of anger) that when he proved he had changed she took him back. I guess people have different values - some would take former cheaters back, some wouldn't. I am of the latter in most cases..in rare cases, the former.. and the one I cannot really accept is taking back someone who totally ruined something that cannot be fixed or got past and who can now only be seen as dirty and broken. It's a psychological barrier!

Really liked it. He screwed up, BIG TIME, and he had to work his way back. Just wish it didn't end so quickly. Him pouring out his heart and doing some well-deserved groveling before the sex would have been good. But overall it was a good story.

I think the story was a great read. I think also that the change back to Gail was a bit abrupt. I rated it a 4, but I had to push it up from a 3. Keep on keeping on. Great improvement compared to your beginning stories.

From Gail's character, I figured she would be strong enough to MOVE to Denver and lose the loser.

I like it. The characters are mostly realistic and rather fleshed out considering it's only three pages long. The story is well told. The change is obvious for Greg. However I think it should've been worked out a little more towards the end; it just suddenly jumps from their last argument and the talk with the brother in law to them having made up and everything. Flesh it out and it'll be perfect.

The narrator were flawed but worthy of redemotion . He backed up his vow to be a better man with significant life changes. Will it stick ? Nothing is for sure but he's on the right path.

when you drain the well yourself. TK U MLJ LV NV

Liked the story because of the Husband's reformation-hopefully a 'permanent' change. Wife was 'verrry' patient and forgiving!! He found it very easy to stray from his job duties, Dad obligations, and marital gifts of companionship, affection, caring and intimate relations. Of course his father set a bad example, but he was responsible for his own choices and regularly violated his moral code. Hope he has truly changed! Still a good story, and the timeline break was a little extreme, although such breaks do fit a short story. Thanks Slirpuff. Dan

I liked this story until the sudden skip to the end. I would have liked a better transition, or at least draw a line in between the paragraphs that are showing a split in time. It was a really good read up until then.

I was pleasantly surprised that the commenters recognized that this guy was a cheater. Some of them held him to the same standards as they do the women. I love reconciliation so I was glad that they got back together, even if it was rushed.

Would have been at least 3, maybe 4 stars, but you went from Greg's talk to them screwing with ZERO transition.

You needed at least SOME conversation with Gail in between.

He didn't have to serve her at work over a custody issue. All he had to do was get his lawyer to go to Child Protective Services and get an order barring her from moving too far away. They're more interested in what is best for the child and having her Father in her life even every other weekend would be what they wanted. Key words = "best interest of the child". Courts love that shit. And mostly likely she would have been limited to the distance she could take Randi. Of course, if he had simply talked to her, found out she was considering the move and told her he would fight it, things might have gone easier. Plus which, she was such a cranky bitch and not a very likeable character, why would he EVER want to get together with her again? To be bossed and pushed around again? I think not. Better to live separately and raise Randi without being married to one another. UGH!

That aside, this must have been the worst, laziest, most tacked on ending, in the entire history of writing! They went from being divorced, and wanting to kill each other, to happy family, in a shorter time than it took for me to write this! You may as well have written; "He cheated, and then they lived happily ever after!"

My temperament is a lot like "Steve Moore". Except... I wouldn't have avoided talking to Gail, but laid down some ground rules - be civil or the discussion is over. There is nothing that showed that Gail was changing her shrewish ways. And, I think it was appropriate that she was served the lawsuit. It showed he was serious. He loves her and she loves him? Yeah, but maybe that's not enough.

Gail is pissed beyond belief at him. She still thinks he's a lying, cheating pussy hound and now he's had her served with what? A lawsuit for primary custody? No Judge on the face of this planet is going to give him full custody. No lawyer he hired would be stupid enough to petition the Court for full custody on Greg's behalf. So the best he could have asked the Court for was joint custody and a parental order requiring Greg's signature before Gail could move very far away. THAT would have been a reasonable petition. And with Randi's testimony (she would have been interviewed by a Court appointed psychologist) Greg would have had a good chance of forcing Gail to stay within a reasonable distance. But in the middle of that war you ask us to believe that Greg and Gail fall back into bed together, he fucks her bareback, calls her a bitch and all is forgiven? Incredibly frustrating. You can write a decent story. But more often we get to the end of one of your stories and the whole story drives down the toilet with endings (or non-endings) like this one. Both an implausible and unbelievable ending. Disappointing to say the least. Where's FTDS when we need him?

First, reconciliation out of left field, with no set up.

Second, several errors:

Minor point – If the charity auction was SEMI-formal, he doesn’t need a tux, a regular suit would be fine; a tuxedo is formal.

“milk-toast” – the word is milquetoast.

“she wanted me bear- back anyway” – It’s “bareback”.

Only comment I have is the ending was too condensed

OK I guess I am seeing a trend in your writing style. I do not like the abrupt ending. Why not have a little development between the time the protagonists comes to his senses and the story ends? You don't have to write another page about it but a couple of paragraphs would be nice.

If this was a typical cheating wife story he would have btb for all the cheating but since the guy does it of course the woman will take him back lol

But violates his marital vows and lies to his kid like they're nothing? Yeah, this manbitch should have been burned hard and buried deep, while his wife goes on to marry a real man, his child hares him, and they win the lottery while he ends up divor ed.

It's obvious why the ending is so broken, the author realized that the only reasonable resolution yo this untrustworthy piece of shit who humiliates his wife with another womans sauce on his face is major BTB, so he decided instead to pander to the psychopathic Talibani here by writing an ending where he degrades her and she forgives him anyway.

I've read some of your other stuff, and it's decent. This is just sick and hateful. Why?

Until that point where it skipped from 'Brother in Law advising him to talk to

his ex, to the guy and his ex screwing like minks.'

Seems like a lot of ground was covered in that gap, and writing about

some of that might have made the story better.

You ended the story to soon or you left out somethings.

It's milquetoast, not milk-toast and what the hell is "bear-back?" Does that mean furry? I also had trouble when you jumped into the sex between Greg and Gail. It needed a Segway. Oops, that's one of those things you ride. I really meant "segue." Other than those things the story was pretty good.

As others have said, the ending was so short it seemed forced. As if the author was tired of the whole thing and just wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. It was not very satisfying for me, a mere reader. 3 stars, mostly for the first 95% of the story.

Toward the end,a paragraph or two describing Greg and Gail's confrontation leading to reconciliation should have been included. After all the bullshit,divorce,etc. how issues were addressed and resolved needed to be described.

Gail needs to move on if she stays he will chear6 again. As all the BTB enthusiasts keep saying, "once a cheater always a cheater" goes for the guys as well.

Great plot. Like the reverse LW; should be LH...😁.

Greg’s pigheadedness at end unbelievable in face of critism by Tammy and father, both of which he really depends on for support.

Because of big problems with the end can’t give more than 3.5–stars. Will round down to 3-stars.

there a page missing?

Good story until I ran into a missing section.

More like a whole page....

He's suing her. She's screaming at him. Then they're screwing and living together again? What happened in between? I read it twice just to make sure I didn't magically miss something. I didn't - you did. You left out a huge part of the story. That sucked!

She should have just dumped him the first time he dumped on their marriage.

How can they go from lawsuit and screaming to bed and trying for a baby brother? What happened in between? Why would she take him back after his behavior? You want us to believe he's changed his colors in less than a year? And why would he sue for custody? Any attorney will tell him he has no chance. The initial divorce was loaded enough. She got custody, the house and most of the money and none of the business? That sounds wrong to begin with. But this ending was just ludicrous. No way she forgives him, especially after he sues her. And why would he want a volatile, angry woman as his wife a second time? Just be happy with shared custody and a Court order forbidding her to move more than 50 miles away. This RAAC you threw together was a complete disaster.

Another ten or 15 paragraphs and yo’d have the potential for a good end.

The only thing that bothered me was the shifting back and forth from 1st to 3rd person, but I did like the story.

He's changed. She hasn't changed. The ending came out of bloody left field from another stadium. 🤨

He sure is one conceited arsehole who thinks the world revolves round him.I take the fact that he has changed with a pinch of salt because his type don't change.As for Gail she must have a screw loose to go back to him.

First its asshole you dumbass, Just some more of slipuff typical bullshit. I find an amazing as I said before no matter what a wife does you find a way to forgive her. This author has written stores when a wife has cheated least 15 times and husband Still for gave Her. But like this story that the other stoy "no one won", the husband cheats once and you fry his ass. Either this writer is a woman or the biggest cuckold in history the planet. Every story he writes the woman is forgiven no matter what and for those who aren't forgiven, It takes just about a act of congress to divorce or even leave them. Some of the stories even put Matt Monroe stories the shame and that's saying a lot. And that thing that really gets me is 95% of you think this guy is a great writer, And as I said before its just misandry at his best.

It is the wrong ending.The author as gone for the fairy tale ending,which with Greg's attitude and track record would never have happened.Also with his attitude Greg would have wanted to know about the sex Gail had and who with during and after their divorce.

. . . every commenter here would be telling us what a cuck and a wimp the husband was for taking her back. Once a cheater and 1* fag cuck shit would be the other comments.

Reed, this wasn't a RAAC, also he should expect comments about the past as long as they are married or dating. When its a female, you never hear. "remember you were a slut for that guy for 2 years" or " your track record sucks" do you?

Readers are writing as if these are real people. The problem is that the reconciliation is unmotivated. One minute she is screaming at him, and apparently, after all he put her through, they have a conversation and all is just fine. That's just bad writing at the end of a story that had a lot of potential. SP has done this before. It's as if he gets tired and decides to wrap it up, no matter how poor the denouement is.

...story, folks. Pure fiction. It's just to entertain and this one did that. I enjoyed it 4 stars' worth.

Other than that it was a good story.

On this one Slir, I have to agree there seemed like a page or two missing at the end. ReedRichards was correct too. Signed: BTW

Current title: Unexpected Forgiveness

Correct title: Unexplained Forgiveness

What was she doing working right up to the birth.How come he never asked her how many men she had been with after the divorce,especially on the week end away.Finaly,how did they get back to get her?.

I guess we are supposed to fill in the blanks but there are a lot of blanks.

when he cheats but you justify everything a woman does. That why i think this writer is a female.

1/3 of a square weight, roughly 90# (# stands for pounds). LOVE. Slap hapy papy #9

It went from Greg starting a custody war, (with a somewhat valid reason), with Gail to them having make-up sex. That left a lot untold. It seemed like the author got tired/bored and wanted to finish it. The story was interesting, but the lackluster ending brought it down.

-

That being said, overall, I do enjoy this author's work, and wish he/she would take up writing again.

-

Pasqual

No explanation how he got back with Gail ,due to the rushed ending which rather spoilt the story.Plus I am pretty sure with his mentality,he would want to know how many men had shagged Gail since their divorce.

The ending was a little rushed, but still a good read.

... and I just can't get past how lazy the writing is enough to like it. It was an interesting premise, the redemption of a juvenile pussy hound, and I liked where it was going as well as some of the characters, but the ball was dropped big time. I suspect Slirpuff either didn't know how to wrap it up through dialogue, i.e. wrote themselves into a corner, or they plain got bored of the story and didn't want to. That's the only explanation I can come up with for how they went from such a huge knock down blow out to fucking again in one scene. It's just lazy, though.

If you can't come up with a good way to do it, put the story aside and work on another until you get inspiration. If the story bores you, don't publish it because that attitude WILL come through in your writing. Not good.

…since it’s given to us in the title — “Unexpected Forgiveness”

So to go from separate to together in an unbelievable one paragraph is excusable. Yup, pretty unexpected.

Thanks for your writing.

It was a good read, but I’m getting a bit fed up with your characters being angry assholes, who jump to conclusions and never talk/listen. Let’s be honest, he was the cheating asshole who caused the problems and he was lucky to get Gail/Gale back.

Wow. That was not what I expected. There was no way that thr husband warranted a reconciliation, despite finally "growing up". Put that in quotes because of his childish actions with Gail, by ducking her calls, and starting his legal injunction, and making inane assumptions while crying "oh woe is me". And apparently thr author had no way to get to reconciliation except having them suddenly back in bed and head back to marriage. He must have a magic dick. Or maybe she had selective amnesia? Or maybe she is so besotted with Greg fucking her that she decided not to worry about trust. Yeah like 8 months or so past the divorce. No contest during the divorce, little after, then his epiphany with Randi getting sick, him avoiding Gail, then his dirty trick (instead dof talking to her), her livid response, Jimmy's advise, stir till a smooth mixture, bake, let cool, add frosting and whammo, full reconciliation. Wtf? Imagine if the gender of Gail and Greg had been switched. Wouldn't there be extreme BTB revulsion in the comments?

MC = Jerk; any questions?

Seems like just about everybody had an agenda that they wanted to manipulate others into following. I know a lot of the comments concern the MC suing his ex-wife over custody. Explain to me please, just exactly why did she go out of her way to tell him she was likely going to take their daughter and move away? What the hell did she think would happen? She yanked his chain and then got all pissy because he didn't jump through the proper hoop like she wanted. Yes, he was an immature, cheating asshole. Despite this, he was still Randi's father and he still had legal rights. Frankly, about the only character to like is Tammy's husband Jimmy.

It was a pretty good story. But what the hell happened to this story towards the end? After Tammy husband talked to Greg as he stormed out of the house, then all of a sudden Greg is busy fucking Gail. Do Greg go right over there and talk it out then fuck her? Or did Grey go right over there and just rape her till she was happy??

missing a large amount of text in the story right after "I guess he wasn't as dumb as I thought."