All Comments on 'Kirsten Ch. 02'

This really needs work. There are a lot grammatical errors that need an editor's eye (e.g., "choice" should be "chose" where Kirsten does not answer Richard). Those errors break up the flow. Also, at this point, nothing really makes sense. Shaun is her slave, but forces himself on her? Richard is what kind of thing? Why doesn't any one explain anything to Kirsten (and by extension, the reader)?

I have to agree with the first comment. I am very confused. This story line has great potential but you are inconsistent with the roles of the characters. If she has just returned home and is the love of Richards life (how ever long that has been) then why is he giving her a gift of another man? Why is this other man raping her if he is her slave, and why would she have a slave so soon when she is not yet comfortable in her new role and surroundings. My thought if I were Kristen at this point would be to free the man and have him get me out of this castle as well. So many questions and not enough answers.

The first chapter was pretty good, even with the grammatical errors. But this one kind of threw me for a loop. Mainly the slave part. If he is her slave, she should be making him do stuff to her, not him basically doing whatever he wanted to her. Perhaps you should rewrite this chapter and then repost?

I loved it.Please add more chapters.