All Comments on 'Humiliation as Erotica'

I don't share all your feelings but overall I feel exactly the same....

I notice that articles similar to this help me understand the nature of the submissive better than the stories. Thanks for explaining how you feel in humiliating situations.

but I know most wimp husband/humiliation stories are written by British wimps. I think the desire for humiliation goes far, far back in history during the times of "first night" For those that don't know this was where the lord of the land had the pleasure of the new wife of a subject on the first night of her marriage. He got to take her virginity and usually impregnate the bride. If a bride was too ugly for his taste he would let someone else take her. This went on down to the fat uglies ho were often impregnated by a servant or when she was real fat and ugly one of the lords stable hands.

To have some other man take your brides virginity was definately humiliation and to have to raise a little bastard even worse. I think the desire for humiliation comes from these times and the British male feels that he has no control over events and there fore likes to be humiliated.

another wimp story about someone who should not be married at all. Find a professional and do it right. The score is for putting your cuck wimp story in the Review and Essay category then leaving it hanging. Of course, now I know what to expect from you I can just avoid anything by you and not have the problem. I am sure that there are a few thousands of the cuck wimp who will like a story like this. I suggest reading in ASSTR.org. Their site and their mirror should fit you much better than here.

What happened to you is easy enough to explain. Somewhere along the way, you sexualized your submission/humiliation. Like many dysfunctions, yours likely rooted in your childhood due to sexual arousal as a result of submission and humiliation. Then your first wife gave rise to the full blown sexualization of your submission. Think about this. When you first fantasized about your wife fucking her lover, you masturbated and had a notably enhanced orgasm, didn't you? And it didn't stop there, did it? Those world-class orgasms are soooooo hard to walk away from. Well, I've got good/bad news for you, depending upon how you envision your future. Sexualization of your submission and humiliation becomes a true addiction. Defeating your addiction will be every bit as difficult as any other addiction. Before long, you'll be incapable of even enjoying vanilla sex... if this hasn't already happened. Also, unless you are willing to substantially lower your standards or settle for a insatiable nymphomaniac (another dysfunction all its own), you're highly unlikely to ever find a like-minded mate. Trust me, this is no happy voyage you're on. If you're already writing these stories, you're probably well on your way to becoming hopelessly addicted. Go for help? Well, if you do, be prepared to pay out-of-pocket and use an alias, unless you want all this info on your medical records (assuming you are in the USA).

Your article is right on the money for a lot of us, me included. Thanks for articulating your feelings - you've described me and my situation to a "T" and I have shared your article with my wife.

I don't think being submissive or even enjoying sharing your wife necessarily makes one a wimp. You are only a wimp if it is something you are doing because you don't have the nerve to do anything about it. I have never been a cuck but I have been into submitting and humiliation and I am anything but a wimp. In fact when I am being beaten, humiliated etc. it make me feel more macho and manly being able to "take it" not wimpy.

...the explanation of the wimp fantasy.That may be one way to dysfunction but more men with great power have these feelings and it is much more complex than simply sexualizing humiliation.That's why shrinks are a sham.Human beings aren't capable of tying all the tangients and exigencies together.Pistolpackinpete

I think real wimps fantasize about being doms. Men who want to be dominated by women are more often men in power who need a release from having to constantly rule. Good essay. Lots of insite.

Right on brother! I am one of the few lucky men who has found a woman who will play these fantasy games with me and still believes I am a macho man. Lucky me.

It's a shame you didn't know yourself well enough to stay with your first wife— she obviously had an instinctive talent for tripping your triggers. I'd guess that at that time, she knew you better than you knew yourself. I wonder about your present wife, though— if she knew how much subservience turns you on, are you so sure she wouldn't like it? You say "she wants a real man," but you also say she's a strong woman who makes all the decisions. I'm not so sure she'a as unaware of your inner self as you think she is.

I'm in much the same boat as you, though I've never been cuckolded, willingly or otherwise. My present wife knows I'd be okay with that (I don't know if she knows how much I'd get off on it) but, although she occasionally likes to joke about it during sex, she's made it pretty clear that she's a one-man woman and staying that way... Other men would consider that a blessing, I suppose.

I was humiliated by older girls as a young boy— including being strippped of my pants and made fun of. I don't know when I became fully aware the humiliation was erotic to me, but even my earliest fantasies were full of it. As I look back now, there were a lot of girls and women in my life that seemed to have had an instinct for this part of me, and how to get at it— but mostly before I was self-aware enough to play along (as with you and your first wife).

About being macho to cover the submissive side: I think I got over that a long time ago (I'm almost 60) but it's amazing how many women just _assume_ macho in a man they like or respect. At work recently, a group of us were gathered in the kitchen during a break. I was wearing a pink shirt (to go with my pink panties) and a young woman, very attractive, new to the organization, said to me, with a trace of mockery in her voice, "It takes a real man to wear pink!" I said, "no one ever accused me of that before." She got it, I think; she laughed and then got quiet; I could see her thinking, but not wanting to say too much in mixed company.

But another woman, closer to my age, and someone I supervise, didn't get it at all, and had to pursue it. She said (thinking she was explaining something to me), "it takes someone who's very secure in his masculinity." I replied, "or devoid of it." She let it drop then, obviously confused and perhaps a little uncomfortable.

Not a very safe conversation to have in the workplace— but the older I get the less willing I am to play the roles expected of me. What it did point out for me is the level of assumption that so many women have about machismo and masculinity, and that these assuptions are much more prevalent in women my own age. Before my present marriage, I spent a lot of time with women who were half my age. This was not because I'm an "ageist", I believe, but only because I found that younger women were much more tolerant and open-minded about issues around sexuality and gender-play than women my age. Sad, but I found it to be true again and again.

Some very coherent comments, always good to see, especially the one above from Liquer. But most surprising is the take from our dear friend on Lit. Mr. Nyminus. Interesting and intelligent.

I have the impression that a certain masochistic streak is very common, if not part of everyone's sexual psyche.

I have this crazy theory that a strong partner turns us on because we see it as a evolutionary advantage. This is why we like to be submissive to a strong woman. But there are all kinds of ways of being strong. A man, who is submissive in bed, might still be strong and successful in real life. He is therefore still sexy to her. And even if he is not successful, there might be other ways in which he is strong.

My wife is a strong woman and I also love humiliation in my fantasies. She knows about it. She is sometimes domineering but sometimes she likes to be dominated and treated like a submissive whore. This also turns me on. I like it when she is enjoying herself and I like to press her buttons.

About your wife not knowing about your desires, I can just tell you that my wife initially didn't know much and I was scared. She then found one of my stories. She was outraged at first but then told me that it secretely turned her on. Since then, I tell her about my crazy fantasies and we love to talk about them together as a turn on.

I have the impression that most women want to make their husbands sexually fulfilled and happy. And she will indulge his fantasies if they are not physically or emotionally damaging to her. My wife likes the fantasy of cuckolding but she wouldn't want to do it because it would cause an emotional conflict for her to sleep with other men. I understand and respect that. I am glad she loves me that much.

Anyway, I enjoyed you essay. But you are not a wimp because you like to be sexually humiliated. Those who appear strong are also weak the vice versa.

I'm sure with some physcological help you can better understand your feeling and to at least some degree overcome them. Being a truly submissive guy is only going to appeal to a small number of women and probably not very nice women at that. Your own marriage failed probably in part due to that. To find and maintain a healthy relationship, you need to change.