All Comments on 'Sleeping Sister'

if you need to write in english use english names and places AND A GOOD EDITOR.if you need to use your native names and places write in your native language and post it in the proper area. they have a foriegn language area for nonenglish speaking story writers USE IT.

DBRS

good fantacy but no go guy. no one sleeps through a fuck unless they are so drugged or drunk they are out of it.

try an editor next time but keep on writing.

Why don't you stick to reading stories instead of writing them, you A Hole?

You can't write if your life depended on it. "Player" what a joke, you dick head...read more and then some before you even consider to write another shit of a story!.

Please ~~ no more until you learn to speak and write our English. You seem like a smart person but you forgot to use your "Brains" when you put a story on here.! Why did you drug your Sister ~~ was it because you wanted to stick that big old 8" into her.? LOL You wish*

JAG

Ok. This story's premise is decent. However, people's demands that you learn english or use the foreign language section are valid, and NOONE sleeps through losing their virginities unless they are drugged. This story had the potential to be a 3.5 with some things changed:

1. Good Grammar. Honestly, this thing looks like you wrote it in your language(Hindi?) and then fed it into Google Translate or Yahoo BabelFish. Come on.

2. Copyediting. Good story premise, but unskillfully written and it could have been greatly improved by getting a copyeditor or even revising and editing it yourself. The Five Steps of Writing, not the Three.

3. Drug the sister next time. Noone sleeps through losing their virginity or usually, sex in general.

Again,this story had the potential to be a 3.5, but as it is, I give it a 1.

she did not sleep man! she let you fuck her.

Terrible to the maximum

idiot ...u think that she must b sleeping that moment...but mind u that right from the beginning when u pressed her boibs she must been aweken

Awful, seriously, poorly written, boring and really that beginning? Hello I am the greatest stud in the world all the women want me? I'd say try better next time but frankly your just a god awful writer with some of the most banal ego stroking self delusional fantasies around, which in itself wouldn't be that bad but considering that's all you seem to be capable of writing just well don't, stop writing and go back your miserable little life.

Lol, i never laughed so hard and lost and erection at the same time, your use of the phrases "oh my goodness" "oh my gosh" had me dying with laughter.

My favorite parts have to be

"As I was to cum I stopped fucking. I don't want to make her pregnant." And

"Anyone who see her that time would get the intention of fucking her like mad dogs. My brother started to grow inside my pants".

Lacks in reality

So...he rapes his sister while she was sleeping?

Rubbish..

Set least learn the fucking language before you wrote or get someone to correct your grammar. Ruined the vibe from the start. Fucking foreigners.

I too had fucked my sis ass over her tight chudidar, salwar, parkar etc squeezed her brrasts and also fingered her pussy. i used to squeeze her breasts lot of times in night