All Comments on 'Any Opportunity Will Do Ch. 14'

I like the story, but your writing seems designed for those who either have such a short attention span they can't comprehend more than a few paragraphs at a time or who think themselves so busy they can't read more than a few paragraphs or who read so poorly they may not have time to do anything else that day.

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You're a pretty good story teller, and you've probably figured out that I'm frustrated with the shortness of your chapters. I'm also frustrated with how much you repeat from chapter to chapter, that might make sense if the chapters were freestanding or you only posted every couple of months. Your dislike of British (or maybe ALL) officialdom is so pronounced that it almost overpowers the story about your two protagonists as a separate and competing storyline.

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You need a proofreader or two, there are a number of writing errors and some logical ones as well. When we humans read the same or only slightly changed material repeatedly we begin to see what we expect to see and miss the reality of what is or isn't there.

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If you'd like to talk about any of this, or just tell me off, email me via my Literotica member name.

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<I>srgeek</I>

Not enough story, too much about poor bureaucrats and cowardly behavior by all parties but the two women.

Please try and get more story in the story.

I was wrong. You're an idiot who thinks suspense is a useful tool to keep a reader interested.

God help anyone who looks at publishing your works.

Terrible.

1 star

Well, I like your story. Reading it 2nd time around