All Comments on 'Deeper and Deeper: Edward's First'

This was a very hot sex scene that I'm sure fans of the series desperately wanted in the real book.

that was extremely hot and actually very well written. i love that stephenie meyer ventured out enough to mention sex in her books but i thank you for giving it more life. :] good job.

This story was actually pretty damn good. Well written despite the charcters, not because of them. Kudos.

As someone who is OBSESSED with the Twilight books, this added a nice picture to the parts that Stephanie left out...Great job!

as one of the many Twilight-obsessed I started reading expecting to be grossed out and disappointed. yeah, neither ever happened! you stayed true to the story even while it was HOTTT!!! I know Stephenie Meyer would probably disapprove but some of us need this stuff too ;-) PLEASE CONTINUE!!! you obviously understand these characters and appreciate them as much as the rest of us.

Your story was so good! I felt like I was reading a portion of Midnight Sun from Edward's perspective. If twilight the series had been written for older adults I believe this defiantly should have been in there! Kudos to you for making such a wonderful extraordinary piece!As someone who loves Twilight and the characters I loved this!

Having read the books and particularly the last book, I always felt that some semblance of a sex scene should have been in there. It always felt like there was something was missing without it. But this was just absolutely perfect. I can so see this having been in the book. Fantastic job, it was superb.

Nicely done, congratulations.

Can you try to give Bella's side of the story?

Or the first time when Bella is a newborn vampire?

Someone should send stephanie meyer this story!

it ws gr8, simply put:)...it was exactly what stephenie meyers might have written...or maybe evn better than that...there's a request though..could you write about them making love afterwrds?? & i would really really appreciate if you cld come up with something between jasper-alice or emmett-rosalie..or even carlisle-esme :D

please write more. i really enjoyed this one and as a fan of the series it seemed as if it was right out of an adult version. i loved it. maybe next time you could use the other couples in the house???

really well said, i enjoyed reading this.

That was truely one of the most brilliantly written stories I have read on here, not just because it is based on the story of Twilight (and I am not really that big a fan of it) but because your description was amazing and I felt as if I actually was the characters. Not many writers manage to capture that connection with their readers, so well done! Fantastic.

wow that waz exactly what te book wuz missing a few requests though like ur other readers i want more ;ike the second time when she woke up from her dream and after bella became a vampire . something from bellas point of view. thank you so much for this story it would have fitted perfectly in the book

umm....DAMN. SO perfect, WAY hot. thanks xxo

This is nominated for an end of year award and deserves it. Such a hot and sexy story that fits the category very well.

Simply brilliant! I loved it!

I can't believe what a great job you have done with this story! I am a huge fan of the Twilight books however I always felt cheated that we could never read about the physical relationship between Edward and Bella from a more adult point of view. Your story has given this to me and you should be congradulated for the fabulous quality of your work. THANK-YOU THANK-YOU !!!!!!!!!

Totally amazing and well fitting with the book.

Absolutely fantastic construction of the story. Very authentic and very clever. I never thought of the thing that Edward was drawn to until he explained it in this story. Wonderful idea.

Wonderful and so detailed. Love it

ive read the few other stories on here that are supposed to be the missing chapter in breaking dawn but this one is the most true to the book and the characters

you portrayed edwards feelings so truthfully and it actually felt like i was reading the book

GOOD JOB!!!

This is the most amazing missing chapter from Breaking Dawn that I've seen yet. Please write more, I promise to read it!

LOVE IT

The way you write is excellent. It's not just the story and the scenario it is the way you structure your sentences and paragraphs.

I'm not really a Twilight fan but if the books were written the way that you wrote your story I would read them. Your writing is better than Stephanie Meyers.

Makes me wish I was Bella.

This literally sounds like the way stephenie meyer writes!!!! This was amazing, the best "missing chapters" I have read!!! Keep writing, because you do so beautifully!

Beautiful, true to character, and incredibly hot. Fantastic job!

That. Was. So. Sexy!!! And it was fun to see it from Eddies view instead of Bella's. Thank you!

that was the most exquisite piece of writing i've read in a while. why couldn't Stephanie Meyer wrote that from Bella's POV and put it in the book? it would have been much better.

Amazing!!!! your writing is incredible

That was absolutely amazing. As a devoted fan of the Twilight series, I've wanted this "more adult" view of the wedding night for quite some time. THANK YOU!!!

This story was very beautiful thank you for writing it you are an amazing writer :)

I loved the powerful descriptions!

This story was amazing! I had been wanting to know more about their first time since I first read the book. You are an awesome writer

So descriptive and raw emotionally yet exquisitely tasteful. Well done and don't stop!

Well done. Fantastic voice! Keep writing, you have a gift!

This story is amazing and needs a sequel

Finally some writing worth reading!

Amazing story, it felt like I was reading it from the book, Midnight Sun. I love that it was from Edward's prospective, I think you nailed his personality. I know this comment is more than a decade late, but great job.