Not a bad story only a story in bad need of editing. Find an editor. If you used one... find a new one.
You told a great story, Livvy. But, as already mentioned you are badly in need of an editor. I'm not saying this to be mean, but your grammer sucks. Your idea, and your build up were hot though. Hot enough that I continued to trudge through the awful grammer and keep reading. I rarely ever do that.
I loved your story. It is the words and ideas that turn me on and this is the best story I have read in over a year. Other stories are more technical but this one was full of sweet raw emotion and I hope you continue with Katie. I am now your devoted fan.
I found this story enthralling. Very well done. As one who has a smoking fetish story on this site as well I encourage you to explore the theme again. Thanks for firing me up! :)
WOW... What a turn on! Well written despite the small errors. As a smoking fetishist this was fantastically put together and pushed all the right buttons for me. Apart from Smoking, it is usually older women / younger man stories that turn me on however your story has now flipped that on it's head. I have a new found appreciation for younger sexy smoking women, thank you! Love to chat sometime? Jimmy
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