by monika333
Just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed the story line. What was hard was having to sometimes decypher what you wanted to say at times. Maybe you were in too much in a hurry to get this story out but please take the time to proof read it before submitting your next one. Missed words and spelling really detracts from the story. I am curious how this story plays out and what his sister has in mind though. Thanks for listening.
Can`t wait for part 2...hope sister takes him out shopping for his own dresses and panties.
I picture you hyped up on coke, sugar ...something. For one thing, you use way too many exclamation points. It's the equivalent of ending a sentence in a shout. Whatever the problem, it was distracting. It kept reminding me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine's editor/boss was reading back a story that also had way too many exclamation points. He'd raise his voice and speed up his speech to demonstrate how rediculous it came off sounding. ("I decided to go TO THE STORE! I'd heard they were having a sale there ON FROZEN VEGETABLES!) Use them sparingly, and only when called for. I hope you take that advice to heart.
Okay, you had me stroking and tenting in panties, and spraying them good!! Thanks! Keep it up!!
This is an erotic story and not classical fiction. Who cares if the grammar isn't perfect what matters is that this story got my cock hard. I am stretching out my own sisters panties right now and wish it was me in this story. I think his sister should have given him a nightie and some fresh panties to sleep in but hey it is your story and it is magnificent. Can't wait till chapter 2. I am thinking of so many possibilities that I just know I am going to have a wet dream and end up cumming in my sisters panties. Maybe I get caught too.
Great story please hurry with part 2 and 3 and 4 I can't wait to hears what happens next. Maybe sis will bring home a real cock for her lil slut SISTER to suck and get fucked by..feel free to write me ....sally_spandex69 at yahoo dot com
i came so hard reading this i was wearing my sisters thong with 3 fingers in my ass
5 stars but I was grossed out by her putting the butt covered toy in his and her mouth. Good story though