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Hush My Love Ch. 01

bySerena_Morni©
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Comments (4)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous09/20/09

Potential.

There's lots of potential in this story. There are some writing errors, though. ("That made a few people cracked a smile." Indeed, there is something wrong with that sentence.) Overall, not bad; nothing that a cold re-read or another pair of eyes couldn't resolve. Keep writing.
-- KK in Texas

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by Anonymous09/21/09

Way too short

It barely introduced the idea of the story. I'd echo the previous comment too.

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by Sambrano09/21/09

What a charming first story!

You are adorable. "Yes you can help me by kissing me, I thought." What a refreshing writer. Please continue your tale of seduction.

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by Sambrano09/21/09

What a charming first story!

You are adorable. "Yes you can help me by kissing me, I thought." What a refreshing writer. Please continue your tale of seduction.

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