All Comments on 'Canadian Adventure'

Fantastic beginning, I loved reading this story & I hope you will write more chapters to it.

story. Had to chuckle ever time she said,"now that wouldn't be right" and his mimic at the end of the story. Well done. Thanks. ML

but not all that great either. a bit implausible. to say that this could happen "just wouldn't be right".

It was good for a first submission, but it needs some work. I don't think the premise is faulty, but the way its presented makes it seem more implausible than it is. Also, the characters seem very flat to me, and the repetition of "that just wouldn't be right" was kind of annoying. I know its an incest story so that element needs to be there, but I think you should express it in different ways. I think there is potential here and I would recommend having it critiqued in the Story Discussion Circle (a forum) or the Story Feedback forum. The comments you get there will be honest constructive criticism. As a writer, I've found using the SDC to be extremely helpful.

Not voting on this, well, it just wouldn't be right!

People can critique another's work when their own shoddy submissions leave so much to be desired. At least your work was not full of simple structured sentences beginning with "It" "I" "He" etc. Anytime I see an author give such an uppity critique of one's work I always read a few of their submissions. I suggest you do that in this case! The only thing I would say is you had Lisa "give in" to her carnal desire much too quickly for a woman of her morals & values- stretch out her conflicting emotions. But the use of "That just wouldn't be right!" shows an author that has thought his story out ahead. Very good. Also don't fall into the trap of outrageous size breasts and dicks. In fact exact sizes aren't needed. THAT U DID VERY WELL HERE. KEEP IT UP!

Good start...write more please.thanks.

Loved this story for it reminds me deeply of my fantasies of my Aunt...OMG...Just wouldn't be right! Please give us more.

why anybody would find fault with your work. You told your little incest story in a fine fashion. I have read many thousands of stories and know what is good and what is not. If I go away from a story, having enjoyed it enough that I would like to see a sequel to it, IT IS A GOOD STORY! Such is the case with this one. I would like to see it continued. Thanks for a very good submission.

Not *quite* a "100" but much closer to that than 75, so 100 it is!

There was just a slight touch of awkwardness in the dialogue, but that'll improve over time. But the premise, set-up, sex, were all well done. Keep it up!

A very good presentation with a good foundation for the characters to build on. Very believable, sweet and erotic. The story line or theme is very original and well written. I hope to read the rest of the vacation, I'm sure it would be extremely erotic. Thanks

A very good build up toward incest. I'm hoping that you story will continue with the two of you wanting to have a baby that will grow into something that your mother did not do for you.

I wish we had more of these stories. I too loved my Aunt Doris, what a woman. I grew up wanting her so bad. She flirted with me from the age of about 14 and I kissed her often on the cheek, placed my hand on her leg every chance i could and would pinch her lightly on the butt. The summer I was 17 she caught me upstairs masterbuting. I could tell she was surprised at my size but asked how ofter i did that and who was i thinking of? She seemed pleased when i replied often and You. She asked me to stand up which i did with my 9 inch x 6 1/2 around cock stood at attention at about 45 degrees. I wanted to see your testicles also, and they are big too. And she walked away but did look back one time and smiled at me. That night not having enough beds most of us slept on pallets on the floor. it so happened that I was in the same room with my three cousins and Aunt Doris was by herself in the next bed room. When Doris interupted me I did not complete the jerk off and I had not done so for several days. The result that i was so full of cum that my balls ached and my desire was raging through out my body. At around 2:00 in the morning I couldn't stand it any more. i removed my PJ's and headed for Aunt Doris. Any degree if success was completly unknown. She had not come over and touch my cock this afternoon or any come on that I could see. I will probably be rebuked severly as my intentions were to fuck her right now. She appeared to be soundly asleep with a light cotton sheet over her. i knelt down beside the pallet and gently lifted the sheet off and to my surprise she was completely naked. My God, i nearly died to see the love of my life finally and i would surely fail in my attempt. She was breathing deeply or at least loudly. how do i get her aroused without waking her? I went directly to her vagina and began to softly and gently rub her outer lips and slightly inside. Again surprised, she was already slightly wet and was now becoming wetter. her body twitched as I continued my mission. I also gently spread her legs apart and she abruptly drew up her right leg and then her left. Perfect I thought and I positioned myself beween her legs. I was actually shaking with desire, fear and lust. My cock was hard and as big as I ever had believe I was another 1/2 inch longer and my ball sack seemingly weighted a ton. I positioned myself over her on hands and knees. With my hand guideing my cock I began rubbing her outer lips but only penetrating with the large swollen head. Slowly perceiving that her vagina was well lubricated I slowly pushed in about 1/3 of my length, the tapered thickness of my shaft just starting to move her walls. Oh, my god, what a wonderful feeling after all these years. Her channel was tighter than I thought and so warm, so smooth so wet and just a velvet touch. I performed about a dozen strokes at that depth dragging my cock back at the top of the channel like a file not a punch. I moved from side to side and up and down to mix up the motion of the standard dozen strokes. God I am in what am I going to do? I want so badly to cum in her but what if she is fertile? What a disadvantage it would be to fuck her asleep and knock her up. but again can I pull it when I am ready to cum? I will just have to and I will cum all over the outside of her vagina. In her massive black hairs and on the external part of her vagina lips. Suddendly she wrapped her legs and clamped her ankles around my waist and encircled my neck and shoulders with her arms and looking up at me said I have really got you now Darling. Why did it take you so long? now work that big thing on in me. I want it all. For the next 10-15 minutes we worked on finally getting my cock all the way in. Doris nearly lost her breath as I withdrew my full length and then slowly pushed it all the way in again. I was spreading her inner walls and she was moaning with pleasure. I began pumping her with my full length and she moved her hips at my pace. A little later she wanted harder and faster and I was trying to do so. Our bodies were slapping together and my cock was actually making a sucking sound as I moved in and out. She began softly screaming and clamped her legs around me and raked my back and shoulders with her nails. it was still a managed pace as i thrusted in and out. her moaning increased in volume and she clamped her mouth and teeth into my shoulder to muffle the sound. My load was upon me before i noticed, it would not be long. the paralyzing effect and feeling it caused along the entire length of my shaft, the utter joy and almost pain was building in intensity. She was coming out of her climax as I was about to go off. I muttered I am about to cum do you want me to pull it? No Darling not unless you want to. Well, i don't want to and with that I started about a dozen fast 1/2 strokes and at the right moment drove into her as deep as I could go, paused and ejected the first stream of thick cum deep, deep into her. I muttered like a mad man with unintelligable grunts with the pleasure of my contractions. I pumped load after load into her, at least six long streams before the contracts gave away to smaller squirts and finally just drops. Finally I ceased all motion, I was spent. That was really wonderful Aunt Doris. You have no idea what it means to me after all these years and I will ever be grateful to you. I love you and it was so satisfying making you climax and then I did indeed fill you with my cum. Darling, it was so good for me too. And yes I have never experienced such a climax before nor feeling the contracting of your shaft and the pooling of cum deep inside. Your cock is also the biggest and best I have ever had. Please, lets get you hard again, I want to ride that big thing. OK? With that she took my balls in her hands and began to stroke them as well as the shaft. Doris and i fucked three more times that night I could not get enough. What about the cousins? We did wake them and they watched us for quite a well. Nan was watching her Mother getting fucked but she was pleased and not angry at all. That all resulted in the two girls getting hot and my third boy cousin fucked them both. they had condoms between them. But I was the lucky one i got to go bare in the woman of my many dreams and left in her the biggest load I had to that point.

It could not have been better

Waaaowww!!One among the top5 incest stories i've read!!There is much love in their fucking!Amongst,i have loved the humourous touch when the the aunt each time says "That just wouldn't be right",same words to be finally concluded by the nephew !!Exciting also when finally the aunt practically begging her nephew that their fucking would not be last.

good story-hot sex-nice people

Very interesting, but rather un real

Just the right length. I liked the buildup and the repetition of the phrase intended to set limits. The closing paragraph was brilliant.

Great job. Keep it up.

Excellent story. This is the first five I have ever awarded to an author.