From the beginning this story has been complicated. As a whole I'm sure the connections are far more apparent, however chapter by chapter its not so smooth. It may just be me though *smiles*
by
Anonymous11/29/10
Yes the story seems like a good one, but your connections between charactors do not always seem apparent and it is a little confusing. but the plot seems great.
by
Anonymous04/22/11
nice
Interesting twist, strong master/slave parts, an overall good story so far. I do feel that val doesn't actually do much clever thinking. The droplet of violence sparked an interest from me, throw in a splash instead of a drop and u will make my day. All I would ask for is for u to give val some more power and write fast for ch. 6 paitience has never been my strong suit. :) goodjob "thumbs up" - tyrodepyro
English
its complicated
From the beginning this story has been complicated. As a whole I'm sure the connections are far more apparent, however chapter by chapter its not so smooth. It may just be me though *smiles*
Yes the story seems like a good one, but your connections between charactors do not always seem apparent and it is a little confusing. but the plot seems great.
nice
Interesting twist, strong master/slave parts, an overall good story so far. I do feel that val doesn't actually do much clever thinking. The droplet of violence sparked an interest from me, throw in a splash instead of a drop and u will make my day. All I would ask for is for u to give val some more power and write fast for ch. 6 paitience has never been my strong suit. :) goodjob "thumbs up" - tyrodepyro
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