by Just Plain Bob
A very captivating story. I'm already waiting for the next chapter.Thank you again Bob.
This was a great dance between two strong personalities. It bothered me that his inner wimp was in charge as he grudgingly accepted her 3 (that he knew about) hook ups with other men. But each time he got stronger. One might question if each time his love got a little weaker, being chipped away by her actions. She is very self centered and justifies it by saying she is controlling. Not telling him that she is rich and dropping him in the middle of a prenup meeting without any warning totally ignored any consideration of him. Was this domination or thoughtlessness? But as I said, each time he gets stronger to the point where she can no longer tempt him into submission. I look forward to the next chapter although I'm not sure where this can go without him backsliding into being a wimp or her being more devious and hiding her activities even more. This will be a challenge for the author to keep interesting and yet believable.
<b>WHY</b> does he LOVE meave? <b>what does she bring to the table besides deceit lying & manipulation? </b>so far that is ALL we have seen.
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This KEY question is never answered so the story never works. Since this story has been posted before her and on other web sites... I can say that this is a story of stupid slow witted weak willed Man.
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yes of course Rob takes her back....
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why does it take him 30 seconds to redial in the age of cell phones and auto redial buttons?
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Didnt he demand PROOF of her sexual clean health since she was fucking other men? when where does Meave provide that? No matter Rod starts fucking her again.... Yawn.
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why is it that every time... EVERYTIME... Rob says he is done with this whore he ends up NOT confrotning her but Fuckin her?
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wait until you read chapter 2--- it is Vile and awful and absurd in every sense of the word.
JPB, this one is well above your average. Interesting. Can go in a dozen different directions and still captivate the reader. But if this turns into another marathon of yours, you'll lose my readership long before the 17th chapter. <p> Anxiously awaiting the next installment.
He never got an agreement to an exclusive relationship from her so she was not cheating. He did forget that what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. I admit that
I would have been curious enough to read the agreement. It would give me more ammunition against her in future discussions. Sorry Harry but I see no plot holes so far but that is the problem with having all ready read the next chapter. The author has no duty to answer any of your questions before he reaches end of the story. That is known as tension which is another important quality of good stories.
I agree with the comment that this is better than your average work. However you do need to address some of the issues raised by Harry
where you posted a story. I started reading this, and since so many of your stories are just a rehash of plots, I was not surprised it seemed familiar. However, since this one is pretty good it stuck out and I went over to SOL and checked. Yes, there it was....not that it takes any great effort to figure out she will continue her controlling ways and in the end he will leave her....but how do you know where you posted one or another, I mean you have over 500 variations on around 5 themes. I must admit that is impressive!!! BTW...this really is one of your better ones and was graded as such.
only one way this can go, if it continues, and thats downhill. Their true personalities have shown thru, she's a round heeled slut, hes a yes ma'am I'll do that kinda guy.
Found the story line very intriguing but abit short on the character development - a common theme to many of your stories, that is, in the absence of one of your patent declarations! I'd like to see how you can turn this around without falling back on one of your literary traits: premature character/story line assasination. As noted by another commentator, fill the holes. Overall, its one of your better beginnings, and seems to have lots of potential. This is not to say I don't enjoy your singlets, but the more thought you put into the story line, as seen in your other work, the better the results.
You are off on a very good beginning, although as one commentor pointed out it needs to have some more character development and some holes filled. Having said that, however, the greatest reluctance in getting interested in almost any of your stories is that you generally construct a convoluted, group-sex, or left-hanging type of ending, which only heightens reader frustration.<p>
I still do not understand what appears to be your deliberate desire to frustrate the reader when you have the potential to be a very good author. Perhaps its your history with three wives which may have left you cynical, with a feeling of inferiority...perhaps!<p>
Nonetheless, it would be refreshing to see you really put your creative talents to work on the rest of this story.
You write some fine stories that are entertaining and erotic, but this is not one of your fine stories. Is it just an irritating story.
the Ct. Yankee
Well, it's a fun beginning to a story — man meets psycho, man dates psycho, man beds psycho, and despite intuitively knowing this, he will probably marry psycho. Hysterical!<p>
Alas, most of us have known good people (both men and women)who have made THAT mistake, and they always pay for it.<p>
Nevertheless, it will be fun to see where this one goes from here. Does JPB ever have his heroes commit suicide, because this guy will be a candidate for it by the time she's done with him! LOL!
just don't let him fall back again. would be stupid cause besides her looks nothing, absolutely nothing is clean in maeves character.
If he ends up taking her back and then shoved around... then the good start will become pure shit
I like the way he took charge and would not become a chuckhold if he married her and that would happen. I agree with him sending her on her way and the only time I would ever want to hear from her again would be when she kicked the bucket and her lawyer left me a cool million dollars. This story does not need a continuation because he is better off without her or her secrets. Between a couple that is to be married, there should be no secrets from the start.
Good story JPB. I have read the story on SOL and it is a good ending. Keep the stories JPB.
Great start. Rob wants a wife and a family. She wants to study men and likes to control them. I don't think that at this stage in their lives the two will mix favorably. Can't wait to read more of the story of Rob and Maeve. RAG
Very well done and interesting. Mystery and subterfuge is abound.I'll be wanting to read the next chapter.Thanks
Getting her to go away seemes like trying to ditch a bad coin. It just keeps finding its way back into your pocket
Someone's has a good story line. Now do'nt screw it up with some hair brain chapter 2.
How the hell this guy got passed her first leaving for a quick fling is beyond me. He doesn't seem to have the character of a cuck but keeps letting her back. Deep down he had to be suffering badly and even doubting her ability to be monogamous. Oh well, I would have done the same and while I have never cried over hurt or pain, I would have watched her leave from the window with tears in my eyes...I wanted her to be right...not sleeping around - for ANY reason!!!
I read one of your readers comments about the story ending up well in ROL(?), don't know what or where that is but will watch for a second chapter.
Your usual great story telling...Thanks!!!
Please explain why Maeve really wants him. Is it simply that he is the most difficult man she has met to control, or does she really love him? If the latter, then she needs to realize she is really mentally disturbed because she hurts him every time she plays around.
I'm looking forward for the rest of the story. Good to see a person with a <b>spine</b>.
that quite a number of your readers act a lot like your lead characters. They know they'll probably suffer and still can't withstand their fascination. That tells something about your writing skill, or maybe your audience?
bother making comments on this authors stories. You know you don't like any of his stories but yet you persist in making stupid comments. Give it up!
Awesome! Long time reader and i would say if it was the first time reading any of your stories this one would have me going through all of them! Damn near got me wanting to re read all your stories again! Keep it up!
I rated it 1* because it has to be his way or the highway. He will not date a girl unless it is exclusive. However, she didn't agree to be exclusive. Then the ass refuses to sign a pre-nup without any justification claiming she lied when she didn't.
Why are the bar tenders always right? Should have walked away sooner.
Damn what a bitch. As a couple she cucks him when the feeling arises then fucks him to death when she wants him back. He did the right thing in the end after finding out about her true life. Now ch. 2. I hope they don't get back together. We'll see...
I wonder how she would have felt seeing him going into a hotel with another woman?
After all the lies and the cheating why would any sane man marry this cunt.
But he asked for it by not kicking her lying, slutty ass to the curb.
So when is chapter two coming??? I think hes got her to give things up now help her become an even better person ,then become a mother. Give up having to be boss, just be an equal. This story has the makings of a great loving wife that believes in a marriage vows. Honer thy husband, forsake all others.
This story is almost good enough as it is. It really doesn’t need another chapter, just a couple more paragraphs. That’s just enough for Rob to get his head out of his ass and tell Maeve, the lying, manipulative, cheating bitch, to fuck off and die. I mean, what kind of idiot puts up with a bitch like her?!
most of JPB characters are wimps disguised as true males.
If you read enough of his stories, most of them goes like:
"I won't do it", "I won't do it", "I won't do it", "Ok i'll do it" Only to find that he was right all along and the girls the cheating slut she seemed to be.
Predictable ending even without reading part 2
A rare, very good JPB story with a man who maybe has some balls. I'm afraid he will end up marrying her, but I'm going to read chapter two.
Many JPB stories irritate me when they leave the ending “to the imagination “. As others mentioned this maybe needs a couple more paragraphs to be 5*.
Took him way too long but he got there. He might want to add changing locks to his skill set. She’s a deranged fuck buddy with baggage at best. No way in hell she’s wife material.
Just another JPB spineless creation, don’t be fooled by the ending, part two will have him rolling over, tongue lolling out of his mouth waiting for his mistress to rub his tummy.
I sometimes wonder at the mindset of an author who continuously creates male characters that acquiesce so readily to female dominance.
Often he sites the usual BS ‘love at first sight’ ‘head over heels in love’ ‘she’s my soulmate’ et al. None of which would make anyone put up with the crap longer than it takes to pack a bag.
Some of JPB’s submissions are really good but there is a good portion of his cannon where he takes outrageous flights of fancy.
Wimp story, and yet JPB is trying to portray wimp as a rational character. JPB apparently does not understand what is the real impression his wimp character is actually making on anybody with an IQ higher than JPB. :-)
So she wants to be in charge. Even in this story she wants to be in charge with him to. Simple thing like we went to dinner and sheet already ordered dinner for both of us makes it quite clear that she thinks she can push him around like everybody else.
I dated a bitch like this many years ago for about 3 months. Really felt something for her. Then a lightning bolt hit me in the head and said to myself "what the f--- is going on? Do I have a collar around my neck and an attached leash that she is controlling? Never saw her again, even though she tried for a few weeks. Marriage is a two way street, not one way.
Without a strong close this is just average for a writer with your talents and experience. If the sequel you plan has Maeve becoming something she is not then the score could be lower.
This is one of those stories that could go many ways and most are not good.
Thanks. I always like you work.
He owns up to the fact that he let that shit go to far and accepted what he should never had accepted from the jump. That moment meant they could never have a relationship, not a real one. Though if you can get her to marry u without a prenup, even if you only get 30% in the divorce, that’s 5 million. I can deal with a lil bullshit for 5 mil. The clue she had money was hiring a p.I. Spending 3k just to find out where he lives is not broke behavior
Why did he give Marge a key to the second apartment,it was asking for trouble?.
How many times does he need to be kicked in the head before he realizes what she is? And yet you can bet he's going to go through with this debacle.
JPB typical "insanity" pattern. He marries her, she keeps on cheating on him... bah bah bah