by fcknfresh
It was short, well executed, and real...looking forward to the next installment!
it could go, but as a snapshot of a moment in a relationship I enjoyed...Mancelt.
It's a good start and I look forward to the next chapter. I honestly can't imagine why anyone would give this chapter a 0 unless he/she was just being an ass - so, don't let it bring you down.
Good start, but a little sloppy with the editing. (Watch out for 1st and 3rd person usage).
I wouldn’t bothe4 with this. The author has spent 8 years writing the 8 parts and never finished it.