All Comments  for

Carry That Weight

byHarddaysknight©
All
Comments (214)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by dangerouslydead02/15/10

HDK is the greatest!

Nothing is tougher to get over than a good guilt trip. I will give their marriage just enough time till Ashley either takes her life feeling like shit or walks out knowing how much she has messed up her life. Perfect Revenge.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

A good story

But it could have been a great one. Imagine if Tom would have told his SIL why he was buying the beer. The emotions , anguish and dialogue would have been fantastic. Oops, sorry I forgot you were HDK.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by simple4902/15/10

Another well written

HDK story. Howwever, I would love to see how the psychological war he has started turns out. While this story can stand alone as it it is, it has that quality of ending that JPB has become notorious for that leaves the reader with that unresolved feeling of events that cry for a follow up. The indefeniteness of the ending does open the door of the readers imagination and that is certainly fun, but I am in the camp of those who want a follow up. By the way, fitting punishment and revenge, but how long can it last before one of them just gives up.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

HDK - did not realize you are back writing wimp male character stories again! Your famous for your reconcillation at any costs ending but we did not like this one!

As someone else has stated, this trend with a lot of authors on this site in this category have migrated into two camps: a]. total wimp ass male characters who take back their self-center sluts [JPB style] or, b]. the non-plausible psycho-bullshit that allows the slut wife to get away with it again & again. In fact both camps have the slut wife getting away with the cheating with minimal consequences because each male character is portrayed as being complete incapable to dump the slut and find a better replacement. Both of these types of stories & authors really belong on that other fucked up cluck site - dark wanderer. Sorry about the ranting & raving, just wondering where the realistic authors of this genre went. Once again, did not like and will wait for Harry's analysis because it is not worth our time to break down the plot holes issues and illogical character development. HDK - glad to see you submit again but very disappointed in your desire to follow the wimp/cluck trends. Debra & Wayne

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

Nice Guy...

...stupid guy! He knew Jeff was up to something and then when he found his wife in bed with him...who is kidding who, she went willingly and it was planned.
Okay, his sense of decency kept him from killing Jeff ( a husband and a father with children), killing his wife (mother of his), probably should have pulled the trigger on himself.
Well, now he has planted guilt, hurt, sadness, adultery and infidelity on them and decided they should go on in worry knowing they have low moral character.
Here's the problem, she didn't respect him enough to not sleep with Jeff, in fact - could probably been part of the plan to get him drunk. So...an Epilogu or dragged out second chapter could depict that after a while of guilt depression by his wife, He realizes that she did not have enough respect for him to remain faithful and one day he shows up at the house with a process server,a court order for restraining purposes, a moving van, helpers to pack and has his wife served...Divorce!!! Does he still love her...No, the woman he marrid - Yes, she no longer existed and sadly, with tears in his eyes, he would always love her and miss her but she was GONE Forever!
You're a good writer, don't stop BUT - Please, don't leave intelligent, educated men in a heap of humility and despair...let them go!!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Poizon6902/15/10

The weight of guilt eh?

Sorry but if the husband truly believed that the wife was having multiple affairs and that she and Jeff set him up, thne they really do not have a marriage anymore. A second chapter where we find out what happened in say 3 years time would be good. Doe sthe husband stay in aloveless marriage? or Doe sthe wife stay in a loveless marriage and find someone else. But as always a well written story

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by sexmate02/15/10

Tom's a man but a wimp husband

What a hero and a wimp in the same day.

Yes I would like to see how you make this turn out.

Jeff planned that shit from the start. Was Ashley in on it from the beginning?
How long has it been gooing on despite their claims.

What kind of "friend" fucks his best friends wife and plans it?
There is no respect for Tom at all from Jeff. It would be best to to deal with him in a very harsh manner ie: Make him spend some time in the ER. I would also make sure his wife and family know what the fuck he did.
And that relationship would be severed forever.

As for for Ashley it would be easy to kick her to the curb. But Love and relationships are not that cut and dried. They are very tricky when waded into this abyss. Will she do as she has said? Or will she give after up after a time and ask for a divorce?

If love is still present it will obviously take many years to fix this kind of damage. Do they have it in them? Most don't.

It would be interesting to see where you HDK takes it and what kind of twists you can weave into this story to make it interesting.

Thanks for writing!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by bruce2202/15/10

Interesting, well-written, and depressing tale

You worked out the theme stated in the title. I kind of wish that you spent more time on the story, because it seems clear that this has been going on for twenty years and that his wife was not on a one-time hook-up. Jeff had been putting him to sleep to what purpose other than this? They are guilty of setting him up and Amber deserves to know about her husband. One other question would be why did he go to sleep if he knew something was up.
Calling some one a wimp after he saves two women, kills a would be
rapist and calls into play the community seems a bit strange. You have to have tunnel vision to label so easily... I am curious what they would feel would be the only correct action? Certainly avoiding harm to the children would sound to me as the correct reaction, but that requires slow action and careful planning. Not something the wimp sayers would have the patience for...

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by muirmadra02/15/10

He's definitely no wimp.

Good story! This guy's definitely no wimp. He carries retribution to it's highest ... with guilt. Now, let's see if she can truly win him back.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

Excellent

HDK,

I always like your stories. You have a great sense of humor. What I like about this story is the irony and depth of it. He loves her and doesn't want to end his family, but he KNOWS that he will never love her like he did and he KNOWS that she didn't accidently do this. He KNOWS an excellent way to extract revenge from both of them and he does it. And while his W suspects what his goal is, she doesn't KNOW what the future brings. Which in itself is even more revenge. Actually a very cold story, told by a guy who usually puts a laugh or two into to one.

You are a very good writer.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by nyminus02/15/10

Another example of alcohol messing in peoples

lives. Marijauna has never been responsible for all the unhappiness that alcohol brings. Why is it legal when pot isn't. Just answer me that nyminus

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Old_Hippie02/15/10

Nice one my friend.

I fear though, that too many readers will not have fully understood the psychology behind his later actions, until (or unless) they read the comments. And even then, it will go completely over some of their heads.

I thought this was an intelligent tale, well written (as to be expected from HDK), with a pretty clever ending. But I write as well, so maybe I think a little more about what I’m reading.

Often a writer one doesn’t say some things in the actually tale, because he/she actually wants the readers to think about them. In fact the writer hopes they wont think about them until they realise that they damn well should have done.

One has to ask oneself, why our hero suddenly decided that he wouldn’t get pie-eyed on that particular evening.

And Debra and Wayne, as an author HDK has to use all kinds of characters in his tales; as do all of us do, who write. Indeed often some dumb, and some who you might describe as wimps. If in every tale, the main character was an alert no-nonsense, six-foot-six, ex-US-Navy Seal type who reacted to just about everything by breaking somebody's head. Now, wouldn’t that make for varied reading on this, and every other Site?

As for JPB, he is a very good writer and I’m completely sure you have no idea what his body of work is really all about. But whether I like his tales content or not, I get a lot of fun out of reading his stories. And I’m sure that I’m not the only writer who has it sussed by now.

Sorry to mention JPB here HDK but others had already introduced him.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

I have "No Reply" to this one! Except...

Well done! Very entertaining! It was a good read. Thanks for sharing!! Ohio, USA

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

Carry a weight ??

He's no wimp, that's for sure. But it seems a strange family to mee. Even if Jeff saved his life, the was no friend at all by trying to get him drunk, knowing he would pass out quickly. And his wife's behaviour is anytihing but. Makes you wonder indeed. And her cousing Agnes who's treating all of this in such a casual way wiht her cover up, that one could really think there's more at her end too. He admitted that he married into a wealthy family, and one his greatest concerns was about his standing in this family. is this what it's all about?? I don't see a need for another chapter, but I'm sure if HDK would bring one, it will be well written as usual.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by dirtdigger195502/15/10

Good read...

If Toms actions in stressful situations, like those shown in carry that weight, are true to form, then what he said to them in recovery room should carry a massive amount of weight. Jeff was almost running when he left and Ashley pretty well summed up what her life was going to be like, at least for the immediate future. Seems family means a hell of lot more to Tom than either Ashley or Jeff. A much better man than I, for sure. Five stars from me.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

Did I read this right?

there is a reader who is actually waiting for good old Harry to put in his two cents worth. Of course, how could we not wait with abated breath, to read the king trolls analytical opinion of a well written story, with a different twist. HDK, you're are so totally screwed. The battle between the "reconciliation and flame the bitch crowd is about to begin. Never mind that it is just a story to read for ones entertainment. Oh, well you got broad shoulders, I'm sure you'll handle it. Oh, hell with all my moaning, I forgot to tell you I liked your story. Thanks.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by kelly_kelly02/15/10

Reverse Psycology.

This is what "Reverse Psycology" is all about. Fun story, I liked this one.

I don't think Tom's a wimp, the line –- I saved his wife. He fucked mine. Who was the better man? Tom's the man. At least he's got his self respect, he won't be called as a "cheater" "back stabber" "wife stealer" (Please add words as you wish).

Carry That weight -- the title says it all. Jeff and Ashley are going to "Carry That Weight".

P.S -- Today I'm really missing commenting in BOLD and ITALIC. This new system sucks.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

Very well written as always but...

I have a problem with the story in that it left me with more questions than answers. So many questions that I am unsure what to think about the story. Hubbies solution was certainly creative but will it be effective? Did inlaw and wife plan it in advance? Other family members had to know something was going on and what was the impact? His kids and on and on and on. Oh well. Thanks as always and should you care to expand a little on this one..... Mike in Missouri

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by terrydavid02/15/10

It was okay and offered a different twist on the cheating angle but there are some obvious questions!

1. It is implied and inferred that Jeff & most likely Ashley set this up in advance and had already made the critical decision to cheat before this incident. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Is this addressed in the story or is it simply left to the reader to figure out how long & why she decided to so remorsefully cheat. It would interesting to know who locked the bedroom door so they could engage in the supposedly spontaneous coupling. Had the husband not actually seen them in bed together but had witnessed them coming out of the bedroom together - would she have confessed? Obviously, the cheaters had decided the risk was worth the opportunity(s) again.

2. Notice how quickly Ashley assesses her upcoming situation after a few moments with the resourceful level headed quick thinking wounded husband, hmm... - what is wrong with that picture? With her caviler attitude she assumes the "non-emotional & suffering wife attitude which translates to "shucks, I got caught - now damage control time, woe is me". Surprised she did not pull out her finger file to past the time because she is "so remorseful". As typical, she is only concerned with how her adultery is going to impact her comfort level and she may actually have to pretend she is in love with the husband. Geez, what a cross for her to bear - do we now feel sorry for the wife? Nope, but would HDK infer that we should?


3. Hopefully Tom will have enough brains to DNA his kids to ensure they are really his but in reality it mostly will not change his love for the kids. Does anyone really think they will manage to maintain the "great family & relatives" relationship they had before this minor event? Surely, Tom & Jeff will get together to celebrate the birth & naming of Jeff's new son [with Jeff's hero status name] and carry on as best friends! Hmmm, maybe Vegas should take bets on the success of this next scene?

4. Did anyone notice how quickly & concerned Ashley is about how Jeff's mental health is once he gets the "speech" from Tom?

As always, a skillful effort by the author but the character development was rushed and incomplete. As for a follow-up, why bother if the original character development is so weak? TD

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

it must be me

it must be me, i read the comments and all liked the story i thought it was the most unbelievable tale i have read in a long time, for a man who could not do anything but throwup he suddenly became rambo and at the end sigmund freud, anyway it was not a story but a fairytale. I at one time enjoyed your stories now it seems you can't write without a silly idea or to but maybe it's just me.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

come on!

you cant end it here! it needs at least another chapter and maybe im being harsh but id rather they seperate. anyway, like the other guy said it did seem a bit weird that he couldnt handle the cabin bit but when he sees his family, he turns into rambo?

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

Behavoir doesn't add up...

Just doesn't fit together... he's sick, he's angry, he's rambo... he wants his friend to fuck his wife... you made the guy a complete nut case that wouldn't even pass a basic mental evaluation. And there isn't a place on this entire planet where two people end up in bed fucking next to their spouses room NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY DRINK! Seriously, so many stories on thsi site have such wild behavoir from drugs and booze... don't any of you people drink or do drugs?? Booze lowers inhibitions it DOES NOT turn someone into a mindless robot.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

good start but..

this story is neither forgiving or condeming of the cheaters. Write a new chapter were the two are togehter again, this time getting cuaght and exposed and thrown out from the family, GET EVEN

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Risq_00102/15/10

Uhhm, wow Dude

You had me all the way up to the end when you had him waffling between giving in and taking her back and having her earn his trust all over again, like it was a possibility.

That lost me, while I appreciate a good story or two from you, you set a stage then had it play out like the man was a idiot and he was trying to figure out how to stay with her. I mean think about it, not what he did, but what they did. Jeff tried to get him drunk. They locked the doors, and they had sex and she was still in bed with him because they figured they had till morning before he saw she was gone.

And reverse psychology was what was used to get revenge? And at least five people know his wife cheated but they are "all" going to keep the secret? Really? Even then I might have bought it as a new twist to get revenge, but he talks about forgiving them both long as they feel bad about a planned cheating session? That killed the new twist.

It might not have killed the story for me if they had somehow worked at truly earning his forgiveness. But they both did nothing accept say "I guess I'll just have to live with the guilt I caused" and walked away. Want to know how many inmates who would say that if they could get out of jail? All of them. Know how many would actually mean it once out? I willing to bet none. (^_^)

-Risq

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by gusteuf02/15/10

Thanks... another good twist!

I truly enjoy your tales. Your imagination and contributions are much appreciated. Its always a good start to the day, when I see one of your posts. I normally like your stories to end where you leave them, but I have to agree with a few of the comments, that this one needs a follow up. It could all be as the characters state. A one time occurence. But... a few too many things, do not appear to fall into the drunken mistake category. The locked door, sleeping peacefully spooned together, etc... Even if it was more than one instance. The scare could put the cheaters "on the straight and narrow" However, it just seems that this is one you could return to.

Thanks again and waiting for your next...

Gus

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Makes sense to me.

At least after a fashion. Lots of people have a similar "line". My brother is an EMT and sees all sorts of accidents covering everything from whiplash to death and has no problem dealing with it. Cousins and friends he can handle fine. But put his little girl or his wife in the accident and he cannot behave like a trained professional at all. His brain refuses to shift gears when it gets too close to home. So I can understand how a guy would lose it when he saw what our intrepid hero did, and then goes on to acts of impromptu bravery. As far as the "revenge" goes, all he did was put in plain english what would be running through his mind for the foreseeable future for the wife and pal. It was going to happen any way in his psyche so why not let every one know and share the pain. In the words of Douglas Adams "Share and Enjoy!" (I'm sure that's going to be considered blasphemy by someone.)

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Drall02/15/10

The Future?

Thank you for another fine story! I would sure like to know what happened over the next few months and how they got through it. If not,my imagination will have to deal with it.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by gusteuf02/15/10

P.S. Sorry HDK... but I have to throw in my 2 cents.

I realize that emotions can run high with these stories. And... people always exaggerate to make their point. But "Really... Rambo... WTF" No matter what he was going thru before the gas station part. When a guy sees a girl kidnapped and a pregnant lady attacked.(let alone that he knew and was related to them.) He swings a sack with a couple cans of beer in them and gets stabbed for the effort. Where the hell does someone see Rambo in this? Or Navy Seal or whatever... As far as going to save the girl... adrenaline is an amazing thing, and it is real, ask some first responders if they have felt it or seen it. Hell he only made it as far as the help arriving. Again sorry HDK, I;m sure that this will rile the natives up more, but I just had to put my foot in my mouth.

Gus

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

Why am I surprised.....

I should be ashamed of myself for even being a bit surprised. Any story by HDK is by definition outstanding, as is this. Wow, how diabolical. Damn, I do love his tales.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

stay married?

please .... nobody will stay married with that wife.
how long she is fucking around?
is clear not the first time. he is giving beer to make him drunk.
sorry but is not a real end.
for his own sake he will divorce.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

Harry's comments

I always read Harry's comments. I may not agree with them all of the time but they frequently do make points that many people miss.

And I have read several stories in the past several months where he has commented favorably.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by fregen02/15/10

First Time? Maybe. Planned? Definitely!

Jeff had certainly planned on getting Tom drunk so he would pass out. I have to believe Ashley was also in on the planning. Jeff's wife being delayed I think the two took the opportunity to set it up. Was it the first time? Possibly but you have to wonder.

Why? Why does she do it? No motivation is revealed but it appears her actions were very deliberate.

I do not care much for Tom's revenge. It's a revenge on himself as well as Jeff and Ashley. Can't say I much care for wallowing around in the ashes of a marriage. Move on.

Thanks for sharing.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

You Americans are a strange lot...

You feel justified in getting SO self-righteous and moralistic about straying wives while revelling in tales of husbands who unashamedly strive to shag anything with a pulse.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by toesman02/15/10

waste of good talent

Well, I used to really look forward to seeing a new HDK story, now I think "oh, well, will he have the wimp husband take the cheating slut wife back, regardless?" So, at least in that regard, you didn't disappoint me. Put a guilt trip on her, screw that crap. Kick her ass to curb, once a cheater, always a cheater, especially when she & Jeff didn't apparently hesitate to do this one {?} so casually. She only did it once... what a pile... that, & $4.00 will buy you a Starbucks Grande latte. So, in the future, I'll just pass on reading another wimpy cuck husband, slut wife reconciliation story, & read the comments. They are much better anyway.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by ohio02/15/10

no shortage of opinions here!

Wow, people sure do have a lot of strong feelings about HDK's latest! What I'd like to say is, it's original and very thought-provoking. You might think that his rescue of Amber and Amy is a bit over the top, but in fact stuff like that happens to me all the time. Why, just the other day there were these four nuns in a runaway car....never mind.

As always, HDK gives us something we haven't read before, a new twist (or several) for us to enjoy and ponder. Whether this marriage will survive is beyond my ability to predict--but you've gotta love Tom's approach: far more subtle than the old "beat him up, kick her to the curb". We've all read that one a hundred times--hail to the master for a different answer!

Thanks, ohio

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

I humbly ask you

please, if you're going to fuck my beloved wife again, as another one time as you say or on a continuing basis, do me a favor: put on a condom, and be really discrete,,, as I don't want her to get pregnant, or being seen by others fucking around on me... since I had a vasectomy 10 years ago, okay? and I also have some false face to save, being the head of the family and all that...

LOL

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by SleeplessinMD202/15/10

First Time Hardly!

Best Bud and Ashley planned the whole setup. Why? Best Bud's wife was not to arrive until the morning. Both of them knew about Tom's weakness with alcohol. Why didn't Ashley go to bed with Tom or when the other couple went to bed? Ashley's attitude about Best Bud is also telling. She acts like Best Bud just drop the Memorial Day Family Cake not someone who took advantage of her. You expect some anger or outrage toward him rather than musing about how he feels. Lastly, it was just an accident is an easy cover story which does not explain why Best Bud's room was locked. If you are so drunk you do not know what you are doing how do you remember to lock the door? Yes- Tom is a wimp! His form of revenge only works on people who believe in trust, honor, respect and love. The fact that Ashley and Best Bud would cheat at annual family gathering clearly show that they do not hold any of the above virtues. Sorry - It is not clear to me after the dust blow over the excitement of the weekend how the cheaters's lives would be affected.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by DanielQSteele102/15/10

This one definitely screams: sequel

As a lot of other people have noted, the fact that this is an HDK story tells you right there that it will be good. This one had it (almost) all, including a lot of questions. You don't have to be a genius to figure out that wife and friend have been carrying on for a long time. And it's pretty clear that she's going to continue and is going to try to play mind games on the smart husband who;'s playing head games with her. Husband knows something was going on and that's why he didn't allow himself to get drunk this time. All the bullshit about him being a wimp is just that. he couldn't bring himself to kill his wife, her lover or himelf. Big deal. Most people, believe it or not, have a hard time killing people, even in the hot blood of rage or passion. There'd be a lot more dead people otherwise. As far as the Rambo stuff, it's pretty clear from what's already been written in the comments section that it's dramatic, but he's acting in an adrenalin rush and there's nothing in there that cops and EMTs and even police reporters haven't seen in real life. The intriguing twist that HDK rings on this situation is the hero basically giving the cheaters a free pass as long as they're discreet. That happens in real life too. As to why a husband would do that with a wife he loved, maybe he's thinking about the kids, maybe he's hoping it will eventually drive her crazy, or maybe he thinks that a cheater who believes she's been getting away with it for years and pulling the wool over her stupid husband's eyes with the beer trick may start having second thoughts when she knows he's aware of her treachery. Only psychopaths have NO conscience. No matter how big a bitch she is, she can still be made to feel guilt. Or maybe that's my take on it. And what does the family wealth have to do with it all? So many questions. Please...a sequel or two.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by juanwildone02/15/10

Mr. Dobers, with a lamp shade, in the kitchen...

There was so much genealogy and age reference at the beginning of the story that I opened up a spreadsheet program in order track who was related to who and all possible age difference relatedness. Then suddenly I was googling architectural reference material to ascertain if fourteen bedrooms and sixteen bathrooms could safely accommodate 60 family members and not cause a code violation resulting in a visit from the local fire department (oops, I've skipped ahead in the story already!)

I must confess that as a certified math-phobic I was shaking in fearful anticipation that at any moment someone would posit that when two trains traveling toward Chicago from opposite directions pass one another at the same time the smoke goes straight up ..."

Fortunately the story changed to poignant family tale of drunkenness, fire code violations (oops there I go again) and potential frostbite issues. Thank God Amber felt the need to visit Ashley's mother and bring her because why would a daughter avoid her own mother and let her 7 months pregnant cousin drive all over holy hell!

I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was that Jeff was trying to get Tim shit face drunk - finally a plot point I can believe in! Then in a clear conspiracy with Morpheus (The god, not the Matrix character) Tim falls asleep, Tim falls asleep, Tim falls asleep - only to awaken to in empty bed ... oh Ashley!

OH ASHLEY!

(Quick fyi to all of you thinking about using a shotgun to "opt out." TAKE YOUR FUCKING SHOES OFF and use your big toe!) And now back to the comment in progress.

Then flight, then sight, then fight, then fright, then ... then haste, then chase, then call, then fall, then wake, then ... oh I give up.

Personally my money is on a lost bet.

HDK bet on the Colts (too bad, so sad) and LOST! He was therefore compelled to write the most cliche ridden, take it far afield and somehow pull it back together by the end story that he could ever imagine.

To which I say - well done. Well done indeed.

But what if I'm wrong - well then ... wait a minute! There is no way I'm wrong. Definitely a lost bet.

WHO DAT? DATS WHO!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

sweet

This was a well written and nicely paced story. It was certainly emotional for the husband who at first appeared to have lost all and by the end of the day he was everyone's hero and he extracted his revenge with it weighing heavily forever on the cheaters minds. Thank for sharing, great tale.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/15/10

It was an interesting twist,

the weight which he laid upon his wayward wife and wayward best friend. That is all I'm seeing here. An interesting twist to an age old story.

There were some things I found interesting in the story. He knew Jeff was trying to get him drunk but he didn't suspect it was to be with his wife. Instead he thought he was being plied with drinks to embarrass him? I would have suspected immediately he was trying to get with the wife.

I've never found my wife in bed with another but I think my reaction would be immediate and loud. Instead, our hero vomits and then has a clear enough mind to find the hidden key, open the gun safe and select a weapon.

Then during his climb up a stair case he rules out shooting his wife and within a few more steps rules out shooting his friend. He decides to show them and kill himself but finds himself unable to physically accomplish it. That little nugget was precious. This is the man that vomited at the sight of his wife's infidelity. If he had the power to get the gun someone would have been shot. Regardless, I liked that section of the story. I enjoyed his reasoning and his angst at not being able to commit suicide.

As for the convenience store, I liked the actions there. Most of us at seeing someone we cared about being manhandled or put in serious jeopardy would react without thought. Him killing the perpetrator with two cold beers was great. I'm not going to weigh out beers but I imagine the weight of two beers is substantial and know it would be solid. The sling effect would have amplified that. It was another nice touch. What was unbelievable was that he was stabbed and didn't realize it for a significant amount of time. If you are aggressively hit in the chest, once the immediate danger is over, you reaction is to put your hand where you were hit. He would have found the knife before he got in the car. Even if somehow he didn't, I think it would be noticed in your actions of driving. Then there is the blood. There would have been a huge amount of it and it wasn't noticed?

The scene at the barn was good. I liked his idea of reporting a fire because he was familiar with the ways of volunteer fire departments. It was another interesting twist that got him fast energetic assistance.

I don't live in a black and white world but a lot of people seem to think it is that way. The world is full of shades of gray. Probably, if all parties gave it their best, there is at least a 40% chance this marriage doesn't make it. (I've pulled that number out of my ass and just wanted to be clear that reconciliation would be difficult) However, there are a lot of people that think it should end immediately with no chance at reconciliation. I recently read a line in a book that I will have to paraphrase here. It was something like, God loves to humble a man that says never. Yet there are so many people that say the man should walk away from the woman. Never mind that he was building a life with her and loved her. Never mind that his children would no longer live in a two parent home. People make mistakes all the time. There was nothing in here that proved to me that his wife hadn't done anything other than make a one time mistake. People do it all the time. It isn't always as cut and dried as she should have done the right thing. There are hormones, emotions and alcohol involved. That combination has made cheaters of many. I for one do believe it is possible for most people to make a one time mistake given the correct wrong circumstances. I haven't cheated on my wife and as far as I know she hasn't cheated on me. However I do know a few good people that made a one time horrible mistake. In the narrow black and white world of some, there should be no redemption or forgiveness for these. If this was a true story, how dare you dictate and label a man a wimp for making his own decisions about his life? In this fictional tale, how dare you label a man a wimp for not adhering to your narrow world view? This is a character damn it. Someone created it and your jumping on the wimp bandwagon is disgraceful and disrespectful. If you are daily attempting to prove your moral character by the name calling that happens in the comment sections, then you probably have nothing to prove.

At the very least, our hero is in the market for a new best friend. Jeff has lost that job. I would have liked for the hero to recover and give his former best friend a sound thrashing but this isn't how the author decided to play it.

All in all, it was an interesting tale with interesting twists. I enjoyed reading it and look forward to your next.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by C_frommn02/15/10

Like the Turn About

Guy saves a Buddy. Screws his wife gets Caught. Hubby leaves and saves his Family. then gets in Both of their heads by telling them to Continue Fucking. Taking the Feelings out of their Sneaking Around.
and making both Pay by telling them what he thinks of Them.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Ducky702/15/10

Great story, well written even with all the geniality

in the beginning. That was some twist at the end, if Momma ever found out Ashley and Jeff would be disowned, tared and feathered or worse. It's like the Godfather, nothing happens while Momma is alive.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by SilverWolf7875402/16/10

First Time?

Nope, I don't think it was the first time. I think he may have been drugged when they saw Tom was not asleep as soon as they hoped.

Good read as always. How could Tom be a wimp? He is still healing from his wounds and has not had time to really "deal" with anything. Just because there was no violence does not mean the revenge will not be exacted.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/16/10

Decent, but....

Not the typical Harddaysknight fair. Better proofing required with this one, guy. Still enjoy the works and effort, though. Thanks.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by teh56802/16/10

Good Story

This was a good and well written story. Something us readers tend to expect from you. Just one thing, you left a few questions at the end of the story that leads me to think that there will be a sequel to this story. We, the readers have to know if the wife and his best friend can redeem themselves...or go out in a not so glorious finish. I personally, like happy endings but see that anything will work well for and ending.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/16/10

Wait Just A Minute

I'm confused - Jeff created an alibi while those he hired were doing away with his wife and child. They didn't go after the mother-in-law - clearly tried to kill the pregnant mother and kidnap then ransome / kill the daughter.

The question of why is answered by inherited money, insurance money and a new wife from the same money tree.

If it isn't that then the story has gaping holes and isn't very credible.

Perhaps the second chapter will enlighten us.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by brain_damage02/16/10

Another great one

This was a fun story despite trying to keep straight who was related to who. The end was wonderful, the ultimate revenge that will haunt her and Jeff forever. Thanks and keep writing for us.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by terrydavid02/16/10

Why was Ashley so "concrite and penitent" at the hospital? [NOT]

The setting - Agnes explains to the hero of the story [at the hospital] that poorly little slut wife Ashley is "mortally ashamed" to face the wimp husband.

So after fawning over the fact that she is invited to sit next to the cluck victim of this story, her reaction to hearing her husband's speech to Jeff is to "swear that the male cheater will never touch her again" and by the way, poor Jeff [and herself] feel really terrible about the speech and feels unfairly misjudged by the hero husband. Oh my, ""He's going to suffer, Tom"" - what a repentant slut wife we have as a main character.

Ashley's remorseful dialogue:
"Tom, you're harder now than you were before this mess. Jeff will never touch me again, even if I wanted him to, and I don't. Now he'll always worry that you believe he and I are having an ongoing affair. It was only that once, Tom, and it was an awful mistake. It won't happen again. Jeff must feel terrible after what you told him. He'll always worry that Amber will find out about us. So will I, for that matter. He's going to suffer, Tom.

Yikes - with friends and slut wife like Ashley & Jeff, who needs the Taliban?
Just some additional thoughts on this "interesting twist" on the "cheating slut gets away with it again" genre.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Pistolpackinpete02/16/10

Who Dat?-you can't say dat pal....

...NFL got da rights bro!-Pay up!-Fun story HDK and deb and wing wang and you other dolts please stop misconstruing what constitutes "wimp" behavior and better yet stop trying to analyze that which is not a subject for analysis. Better you spend your time doing sudoku or maybe gleaning gnats from your lovers hair or some other anal retentive OCD behavior.Or just Hold your breaths till the Richmond Rotgut releases his latest bombastic barrage of beer infused mutterings.With luck he'll be passed out and so will you!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Carry That Weight  or
More submissions by Harddaysknight.

More Comments (214 total): Page:  1  2  3  4  5 

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel