I enjoyed it. There were errors, but it did not overwelm the story.
Thanks for writing!
A great story line and a well written hot story. Thanks for the good read.
no body gets over being mad that fast no way he would have ended up watching a movie with her and he sure wouldn't end up fucking her things went to fast it would take atleast several weeks or months for him to start to forgive her slow down and keep it real this isn't the fantacy area
it's a place where you can imagine just about anything and you must be a very unforgiving person because for someone to stay mad at someone for such a long time like weeks is too much. calm your shit down.
As for the story, it wasnt that bad....fast paced yes, but not bad.
no one forgives that fast it takes time especially when it comes to family and way to unrealistic that he didn't tell his dad to stop the bullshit life lessons since he had no idea what the world was like now
if you are going to write such a outragous fantasy put it in the fantasy area. NO ONE FORGIVES THAT FAST SLOW DOWN AND MAKE IT BELIEVABLE OR STOP WRITING TOTAL WASTE OF TIME
Blaaah blaahh stfu everyone ... maybe he just wanted to get the story off his mind... I liked ;)
do all serious erotica readers a favor and delete this unrealistic trash.
If you don't like it then on to the next one. It was pretty good to me, the rest is just hate. Keep writing!!! ;)
awesome story, i liked it, it was great, do not listen to the people that say crap about your story which is not true. i would not mind seeing what happens to the two of them, e.g. do they do it again, does she get pregnant, do the parents find out etc.
so writer how much did you pay for all the rave reviews on this SUBPAR story? way to rushed and unrealistic i expacted to hear rod serling narating in the background.
if you spread this out over months or years to give him time to forgive her and for her to show she really cares and loves him it might be a passable story as is it sucks. IF you want to improve listen to the complaints and ignore the raves. compalints help you improve raves only boost your already to big ego and you just keep pumping out the same crap.
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