All Comments on 'The Pledge Mistress Ch. 47 Postscript'

by caligula97236

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denverjohndenverjohnalmost 14 years ago

Would love to see a novel where Jason and Celia are back and finishing school. With Lisa and everyone else. I think the wrap up could be an interesting culmination to all this wonderful work. Not just that but it would be nice to see all of them a bit later in life and see how they have turned out. Maybe with kids and family and marriage.

eugene2keugene2kover 11 years ago
Loved the story

It's rare to find a story that focuses on character development on Literotica. The closest I saw was corruption and falling into depravity. This is the first one I saw that focuses on character growth. Overall I liked it. If I were to name any flaws, those would be focus on irrelevant descriptions (the descriptions irrelevant to the main plot or the subplots), which detracted from the story and the lack of explanations about how certain characters know things about other characters that weren't shared with them. An example would be Ruth Burnside knowing about Lisa's plans for having both Ken and Kathleen as her subs or how she knew about Kathleen. There were no hints indicating Lisa ever wanted to talk about her relationships with Ruth or that she did and this inconsistency also breaks the immersion.

LWulfLWulfalmost 11 years ago
Intensely mixed feeling

I started out REALLY liking your stories. I started reading The Pledge Mistress opposed to another series first. You have a delightful way of describing events in a clearly visual manner. That you gave insightful details in the character's psyche is worthy of applause that I wish other writers would emulate.

Seriously, you need to work on your audibles.

"Pop, pop, pop" is a thoroughly cheap shortcut, considering your previous way of detailing and using a full pallet of color to wonderfully describe both people and scenes, was ultimately depressing.

You are also heavily biased.

Women are not able to be sexually aroused during hazing but men are free game. Men can be used for subjects of disciple training to the four betas, but the reverse is never done. Men are lazy and afraid to take control of their own pledges and women have to step in to get the job done. Who wins the scavenger hunt? Women, it wasn't even close. Dr. Burnside gets upset at Pledge Lisa and what does she do? She gives an erotic spanking and jills her off. Even "Lisa" was expecting a caning for being presumptuous, but as you state "is relieved that she got off with JUST a hand spanking."

I couldn't read chapter 22 , skimming through it KNOWING "The Tri -Alphas are going to lose" and sure enough, lost miserably. I gave up, that's it, no more. It's a shame because a lot of the latter story seemed rather interesting (based on their one line descriptions), if in an overly dramatic way.

Granted, strict discipline isn't everyone's bag, but you seem to like dishing it out to the guys, then go limp wristed with the girls. Yet who is the more feared disciplinarians? The girls.

My bag isn't reading about guys being disciplined. However, I read through those parts clinically to see how you treated one, compared to the other. I never rated poorly based on my own interests, but strictly based on descriptive values and rationalisms alone.

You seem to be interested in real life psychology in one fashion or another and put that in your story (which, again, is fantastic), so tell me this; what would happen in real life if one group is heavily biased against or for another? Especially considering that the Tri-Alphas and Four Betas are supposed to be a linked "brother/sister" association? (I don't know if that is the proper term to describe a sorority/fraternity association).

I'll tell you: resentment and if left unchecked; anger and rage.

Yes, a little competition is natural between the two, but, and I am only guessing on this, there is also supposed to be a bond between the two.

I think it was Tracy who took Lisa off to the side to "help" her regarding her boyfriend, but who was Tracy really helping?? It seemed like she was driving a wedge between Lisa and her boyfriend and that boyfriend is of an associated fraternity?!? Giving Lisa in fact just enough information to get her really pissed off, and letting her imagination do the rest? Tracy is supposedly the one who "really cares" about her sisters?? Seriously? She cares about herself and NOT the sorority she belongs to and SHOULD be drummed out with disgrace.

There were also grammar issues on a few of the stories where it seemed that you used a word processing program to allow it to spell check the stories and it allowed correctly spelled words to be improperly used. This was small potatoes, and while I noticed them, I'll say it would be mean spirited to harp on such an issue. You seem knowledgeable enough to know about that. I am only noting this in passing.

I may decide to read other stories of yours in hope this was just a one-off, but I imagine I will find the same storyline dynamics again. It's REALLY very disappointing, you are an exceptional writer otherwise...

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I enjoy writing erotic fiction and creating digital art in Poser. My ongoing project consists of a series of interconnected erotic discipline novels that I have illustrated with Poser images. My complete collection of fiction and images can be found at EC's Erotic Art & Fi...

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