All Comments on 'I WILL Have You Ch. 01'

I think this story has a lot of potential to be GREAT because of the plot, setting and the characters and the overall idea and concept is great but this wasn't really a STORY format!!! Because it didn't flowed at all... I think you need to work on this some more because even though it is good, if left me thinking "What the hell did I just read..." I' am interesting in the story but again please work on your format for the next chapter

I'm liking this story so far.

I was afraid that she was going to have sex with him that first day. I'm so glad that she didn't.

This story has the potential to be really great.

Please update soon.

I agree. This has the potential to be a good story. I just think you need to slow it down a bit, and develop the story some more.

This story was in youuuuuuuur voice any white man thatI have met does not speak like this ex. this fine ass woman.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO WRITE PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT AND PLEASE GET AN EDITOR.

This is a decent start, but as others have commented, it moves too fast and there's no way Damien speaks like that. The switching of POVs is interesting but jarring. There was no reason to think Eddie was gay before that comment he made. Also, Chloe was unprofessional in thinking her boss wouldn't want her to have lunch. That was just weird -- the boss asks, she said yes, so yes, they're going to have lunch. Please keep going, though, because it's a good basis.

this is your story and your characters, you write it the way you see it, and i like the way you go between the 2 characters views. don't take long for the next installment please lol.

Great Start! For a initial submission I like your style. But keep going, and see if you can get a little help editing, but a very nice start. Well done and keep up the good work.

Like others have said please ignore some of the comments, write this story as you see fit. I enjoyed it, and am looking forward to more.

I like it already...Kinda reminds me of another Literotica story "Seven Days". Keep up the good work :D

Your title is fucking hot. Your primary characters are also hot. Your plot line is hot, too. Your pace, grammar, syntax, and inappropriate use of words in ALL CAPS? Not so hot. Get an editor, and you'll be rockin' in no time. I look forward to the next chapter.

this story is too short but interesting. please hurry on the next chapters please... :)

Your story does have a great deal of potential. It requires some more planning and thought. You have the need for a good editor. Not someone that will just correct the grammatical errors. Someone who will help you develop the story. I still look forward to the next installment.

I like this story, it was just to short. Don't take to long with the next chapter.

ITA...this was getting good, love Italian men.

This story seems a little rushed. Try to flesh out the characters more. Also, consider finding a volunteer editor.

It seem comical

I love this story. That fact the Chloe plus size and Damian is so into her in bonus. I also enjoy their raw sexuality. I look foward to reading more.

I love it so far!! I like that she is a fluffy girl!!

I csnt wsit to read Ch 2

I like any story where a plus size girl can hold her own! And a fine ass man is into her for being confident! Please do not let this story disappear before you. Finish it

I know I'm late but I second Kitty's statement although I doubt I would have left ;)

Wack wack wack whack wack wack wack whack oh and your story is WACK! As if a fat ugly black bitch would get a guy like that.

Welll damn.

Why is it hard to believe an attractive man would be interested in a BBW?? IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY .....freak.

Any who, I've read this before. Second time around. The old anon comment just irked my nerve enough this time around for me to leave a reply for it..he he

Love the story by the way :)

Right, so it all happened too fast..sloooooooow it down

Wack whack wack wacky wack wack

wham bam thank you mam

Loved it! It made me laugh and it turned me on and it made me want to read more. Can't ask for much more than that. Thanks!

I stopped as soon as I read she couldn't believe this white guy was attracted to her - a black woman. Gtfoh with that bullshit. White men hit on black women ALL THE TIME. ALL the time. That was some low self-esteem bullshit.

Should have posted this in sci-fi. It reeks of nope, nada that'll never happen.

Go crawl back under your rock, you prick.

But where irl has this scenario happened. No where, no way, no how to bad there's no tag #inyourdreams Girl you in fantasy land come on and keep it real. Honestly its a good start but it lost its flavor after her physique was mentioned. Can't sell sugar to a diabetic. Other than the editorial errors it has the makings of a good repeat read once corrected.

A lot of men, surprisingly thin/skinny men love big/ healthy/ chubby/ overweight women. But putting her down because she is Black and 200 lbs., racist and ignorant of what men like. The anons that said “nada” and “fantasy land,” showed how clueless they are about what men like. California is such a liberal state, you all kinds of couples. I know of a married woman whose husband would always put down overweight women. His wife was a (light skinned 😒) fair complexioned Black woman. She went into the hospital to have their child, and when the husband took her back home, he had let some seriously obese dark Black woman move in. Claiming she was his new woman. She had to physically fight this woman to kick her out of her home. Personally, I would have sent them both packing. But yeah, men like what they like, if they are chubby chasers, then there you go.

The ‘anons’ that said “nada” and “fantasy land,” because Chloe was Black and 200 lbs. evidently are clueless to what men like or dislike. There are many....many men (regardless of race) that are thin/skinny and pursue, date, marry heavy/chubby/statuesque/overweight women, and a lot are either White or Black women. Cali is a liberal state, so you see all kinds of couples. I knew of a (light complexioned) Black couple where the husband would always have a nasty comment whenever he saw a dark complexioned overweight women. His wife went to the hospital to have their child, when he brought her home, another woman (dark complexion and very obese) met her at her house’s front door claiming to be her husband’s new woman. She had physically fight the woman to kick her out of her house while the idiot husband stood by and watched. Personally, I would have kicked them both out. But this is an example, that men like what they like. Being racist will just make them be secretive, or don’t give a f^€$ and date who they want.