All Comments on 'Shower Time'

Silly story.

I wouldn't say it was silly, but it's all words so you can make it to whatever you want. I think you just were in a rush at the end. Other than that not bad for a first try.

I really enjoyed this, I just think you could have dragged it outa bit more. Buld up the anticipation, ya know. I'd like to see this storyline continued.

Would love to think that Derek and Nicki are just beginning to explore their relationship. If it makes you wet while you're writing it, its good!!

I enjoyed it and do believe it could have been led up to more, but all around it was definitely an arousing read!

Not the normal run of the mill junk ; quite enjoyable . I think he better get a taste of that sweet pussy .

I think it's possible the author got worked up and had to finish it so they could go take care of some personal business, haha.

I've found that if you write up to a point, take a break, and then come back to finish the story, it helps.

I love the slow build up then sraight into the cunt

Good story with a great buildup. Keep writing, please.

Personally I didn't view this as an erotic story. This was just another wham bam thanks maam story. Not much of a build up - there are numerous similar stories about siblings in the shower on this site. As compared to those this story pales by comparison.

Come on, this was crap and we all know it. Try some character development and have a plot that has depth. You can do better, just take your time.

Take your time to develop these characters. Put in more dialogue and more details.

Look to see a better story fom you on the next one!

Thanks for writing!

It got me worked up!

Great story, you should continue :)

you must write a follow up?

This is the first story ive read that didnt have a single turn-off in itloved it i will get alot of enjoyment out of this one

this was good at first then it became really lame and just turned into somthing that seems really unoriginal and untrue... your just a perv whos writing his fantasy acting like it actually happend... stupid story that ridiculous and really unlikely... what kind of siblings do this kind of stuff and kiss in the morning? must be desperate fat ugly siblings.. gross.. im into incest but this story came off to me as annoying and really unlikely

That's what plenty of sisters feel the first time their brother sticks his big hard cock up their cute little cunt. This brother and sister get into a really great routine--they shower together, each sees what the other has between their legs, Derek sees his sis's pretty little twat, she sees her bro's fat meaty prick, and somehow they know that that twat and that prick were made for each other. Sis doesn't have to worry where her cums are going to come from--she'll be getting them from her brother's cock--and Derek doesn't have to worry where he's going to blow his brotherly balls from now on, he'll be unloading them and shooting his creamy cum right up his sister's sweet cunt. Up his sister's cunt is where a brother's sperm belongs.

You should make this into a porno movie

That was a great story. Loved it. Any more to that one?

I thought it was a great story! The end felt a tad rushed but it got the job done! ;)

is it bad that this turned me on so much i now hurt?

I think you have a great plot and you built very nicely, a little more touching and sharing each time. Then even tho' they both came it was a little anticlimactic. May I suggest a longer build up to when they can't keep from fucking each other; maybe a little bit more mutual masturbation, driving each other on to new heights.

Btw only posting as anonymous as I seem to have lost my account.

Really good, the beginning was believable, the foreplay in the middle was good, even the beginning of the sex was good, but after that it kinda just petered off and there was no payoff.

Great story and well detailed. Good job ;)

That was probably the best story I've ever read. Hands down.

I abso-fucking-lutely loved the story. Keep writing!

Same i banged my sisters pussy on the shower too

Most of the time we waited until she was ready for her period to start. This was her idea.

Made me fully erect, jerking my wet cock onto my pillow. Thanks!

One thing yjat bothers me is when people think they can write and know nothing. Your first paragraph shows it. You either tell the story like it happenned or you tell it like a figment of your imagination. You don’t say, i walk, it is i walked, not he says but he said. First person is never used in stories unless you use it completelt, like you are in a dream. You should read the story out loud to yourself. If it sounds funny, it is because you used the wrong worfing. Either write in present, past or future tense but don’t mix it.

Before you decide to write another story, get someone more educated than you to proof read it to correct gramatic errors. Poor spelling and grammar will ruin a story for anyone with an education.