by zouzouni
I absolutely love this story. Please keep writing. There are a few mistakes, but nothing too serious. I can't wait to see what happens between Lucas and Grace! :)
You make the lead male a complete and utter ass, and incredibly stupid at the same time. That must mean the female lead is even more stupid for desiring someone with no redeeming qualities at all.
You should learn some balance. You can make someone unappealing without making them devoid of any good qualities. You have to keep in mind, if your goal is to create a romantic love, then there has to be something to cause that love to grow. As your story stands, it makes no sense whatsoever.
'all be it' is actually 'albeit', but that made me smile anyways.
carry on...
k_k