All Comments on 'Blackmail of a Raver Girl'

I like the setup and the introduction very much but the description of the sex lacks a bit of detail. Tell us more about her mixed feelings, desire overwhelming her or whatever your idea is...

this was great - lets see the rest...

This was better than I expected for a first story. I'd like to see more, and as you continue to write, I'd advise that you read others similar to this story, not just to be turned on, but to gather ideas on how you can put more detail and life into the story. I was really happy that the guard checked her I.D.

It's too bad this one has seemingly slipped through the cracks, I really liked it and wish the other 4 chapters were written