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byAlgonquin Twit©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous05/09/10

Editing Required!

First, your story has some odd pagination issues: the instructions from the submission page are present. Second, you've written it in the second person. This tense is rarely used, as it is clunky and odd.

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by Anonymous05/10/10

Subtelty is wasted on most people!

"First, your story has some odd pagination issues: the instructions from the submission page are present."

I had a pretty good idea most people wouldn't get it, AT, as the above comment proves. Good effort.

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by curiousk7505/10/10

I understand what you were trying to do...

...but found that it didn't quite work. The 'main menu' inserts really broke the flow of the story and just proved distracting. A great idea though!

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