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2008 Ch. 10

byScorpio44a©
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Comments (31)
by Anonymous

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by Anonymous05/12/10

Too much BDSM for me

I prefer romance more.

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by Anonymous05/12/10

Vote for 2009

Looking forward to the sequel!

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by Anonymous05/12/10

really liked it

Scorpio,

I thought it was a great story but to be honest, this is a great place to stop. I'm afraid that a continuation might become repetitive. So thanks for writing a great story and I'm looking forward to some thing new and exciting from you in the future.

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by morefunn05/12/10

Well Done

I liked the way you ended 2008. I was really glad we are seeing a side of Pete where his growth and loss is back in play.

I do not know if you would want to do all of 2009 or then onto 2010, but I think it would be great to do an epilog and continue with Pete's growth and understanding of his new life and loves. You showed the moments of loss he was feeling for Kay and how he had missed the signs of what Kay actually needed in their relationship.

I think a more thorough emotional review of him and the changes he has made to himself which allows him to love all the women and his life. Also showing how more observant he needed to be of each of them. To fully understand them as no other man has. You did a great job there of explaining how that only solidified their relationship and trust between them, but showed them how important they were to Pete. That is something we should all be doing in our relationships we those we say we love and care for.

They are helping him as much as themselves. Quite a responsability and even he struggles. ( Oh to be Human) So that is one thought.

But then again. You left a large family of diverse individuals happy with life and looking forward to 2009, which is a great ending in itself.

Again Thank You for all your time, effort and talent.

mike

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by AllosaurusRex05/12/10

Great ending of 2008

Please continue with 2009. I like a small amount of BDSM also with some romance, & your stories

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by mover05/12/10

Thank You

2008 was a great year, and as such, should stand alone. Enjoyed it verrrry much, and look forward to new stories. Dave

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by sexmate05/12/10

This was an outstanding series!

You have some imagination! This chapter was an exclamation point to 2008.
I must admit I really did enjoy reading the chapters and seeing the progression. I think this series stands on it's own. There is no need to take it further. But if you do I guess I will read it. And why wouldn't I!

Thanks for writing!

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by Anonymous05/13/10

Please please please please please

Please bring on 2009!

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by Anonymous05/15/10

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I would love to see what happens now that you have added Brad and Emily to this family. Please don't stop now.

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by Anonymous05/16/10

5 star winner

What a ride, fantastic story.

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by size14shoe05/18/10

I actually wrote this and sent it direct to Scorpio44 shortly the morning Chapter 10 came out. After reading 'more funn's' comments I see that what I had to say had already been said. Here it is anyway...

You (Pete) really did a great job of validating Kaye and having her be OK in Pete's eyes. The explanations when indoctrinating Brad and Emily to what some women require had the reader take a second look at Kaye. It was awesome seeing Pete acknowledge that his immaturity as a Master cost Kaye the opportunity of a life she would have loved -- all without lessening himself.

The comment he made to himself at the new year about missing Kaye made the whole thing about Kaye more real. After all he loved her for 7 years, how could he just forget her.

Scorpio44, your stories are entertaining and always carry a message well worth reading. How many of us are man (or woman) enough to admit it when we are wrong?

Thanks,

Phil

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by The1Paladin06/02/10

2009?

When someone asks me if they should continue a story, it's a question of character development. In the case of Pete, well I think the story is pretty much told. You did a great job here tying the end back to the beginning thus closing the circle and ending Pete's story.
I do, however think a 2009 is definitely a doable story. It just needs to be about somebody else. My fear would be that Brad and Emily's story of 2009 might be a slightly different version of this story, after all Brad is a lot like Pete at the beginning of this story. If I had my druthers, I'd like to see 2009 be about one of the other couples that were at Christmas. More of a love story maybe.

So short answer: yes.

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by dou1t206/09/10

Like a good book.......

Like a good book, yor stories are well written and hard to put down. They are believable as well. I have read many of them and will continue. I think that it helps me learn more about my desires as well. Please keep writing, whether 2009 is written or not, I will keep reading! AAAAA+++++

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by Anonymous06/12/10

Fab story - a 5 star effort.

Thanks for entertaining us, fantastic writing that I was hooked from the beginning.

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by Anonymous06/16/10

Loved the story

An eye opener to be sure, changed my view on Dom - Sub relationships.
Would like to see a continuation. Some possibilities: The results of Pete's 'making it up as we go' approach, the scheduled vacations and interactions with new people observing this type of relationship, Brad and Emily working on their own version and their progress, the friends who were together at Christmas and the developing of the friendships with exposure to the poly family. Lots of possibilities - please continue. Your insight is a valuable teacher.

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by Anonymous08/17/10

Greatness

A great story 5 stars. I like most of your stories and this was better then most. Should you make a 2009, part of me wants to say yes because it is such a good read and if you did i would read it but I have to say no don't make 2009 as it is, it feels done.

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by Anonymous12/05/10

Engrossing Story

Nicely written emotion based D/s relationship. "2009" might explore the differing traits/limits of the 3 Elizas' as hinted in Liz's playtime at the closing of 2008. Pursued perhaps on their separate vacations. Would like to see how Brad & Emily's D/S relationship evolves. Brad IMHO has a lesser Dom personality than Pete while Emily is at least as submissive as the 3 E's. Their interaction will be more complicated & less defined than Pete's.
Many thanks for "2008"

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by DC_Packard12/07/10

Great Story.

Not really into Dom/Sub stories, but your stuff is normally very good, and wasn't marked as such, so I tried it. I was very pleasantly surprised, although saddened by Kaye's demise. Overall a terrific read. So, are we gonna have to wait till spring 2011 for 2009? Thanks for your efforts.

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by NookieBare12/09/10

Awsome!!!

One of your best stories so far, I just could not stop reading it!!! Would love to see it continued in 2009/2010/2011.

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by Anonymous12/09/10

Great story

This is a great story. you should definitely write a 2009 series about their cruise and possibly adding a sister or sisterssssssss? Although I just didn't like Pete sharing his wife to brad and brad's wife to Pete.

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by Anonymous12/26/10

Thanks

Great story. Loved it.

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by Anonymous07/20/11

You lost me about CH 4

If there was to be another reference to Kate, there should have been some hint of it before the end of that part. I found the contradictions in hubbies behaviour impossible to handle.
Did he want to give her another chance? Or not? He seemed to not know what he wanted. Such people are impossible to please so why try.
I've given top marks to some of your other stories, not this one though others seemed to have more patience.
One star from me.

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by Anonymous09/17/11

Spellcheck is not your friend. Also...

This seems more and more like two stories to me, and one interferes with the other. Kaye is little more than an excuse to tell the unfolding Pete and the women story. Your treatment of her - as a writer - opens up all sorts of problems well covered in the comments.

Then there is spelling. This final chapter has more minor grammatical and spelling errors than I'm accustomed to seeing in your work. I kept them on a text doc... and hope these are all from Ch. 10 and that they are useful to you. As a reader, I find them distracting.

1. We were home less than a minute. Insert 'in.'
2. At my nod her led us to a corner of the store... 'he' led.
3. The ladies had ignored him completely and were communication non-verbally as I waited for the paper. Perhaps The ladies ignored him completely and communicated non-verbally as I waited for the paper.

4. "E" asked, "There are three of us. Only one ladies ring." This is a statement, not a question: "E' said

Note: Why will Emily equate an exchange of rings with marriage?

5. He pointed me towards a couple of me and at Reverend Newman and his wife. (I don't remember this one well enough. If you can find it in the text, you'll no doubt see the problem.)

6. "Take off your clothes and express you love and appreciation for Brad. "Your" love or 'how you love and appreciate'

7. 'and the directed the flow directly against Beth's open cunt.' 'then' directed.

8. "She's been doing everything she knows you like, but not because she loves you. She's done it all to manipulate you.

Why 'manipulate'? That's a kind of projecting Pete doesn't usually display. Could it be that she loves him can't let go of wanting her mom and thinking her mom is falling into sin?

9. Did you establish that E craves pain? I may have missed it.

10. From the window I said, "Get shoes, we're going to dinner, Honey." -- Liz was dressed?

11. I told her how I had dated a couple of me after her Daddy died. "men"

12. Whispered and spoken words of loving, acceptance and joy were said. 'loving acceptance' or loving, acceptance? 'were said is redundant. Perhaps 'Words of loving, acceptance and joy were whispered and spoken aloud.'

13. "can I use you as a lever to get Brad o do what he's afraid of." Beth said. Comma after of. 'To' do ....

14. "Tell her to stop sucking you. Hand her the phone and leave the bathroom. We'll talk tomorrow." -- so far as we knew, she was drying him off.

15. treating Brad to a look at he bald, exposed pussy. 'her bald, exposed pussy.'

16. He had died of cancer before I ever met Pete. --- 'had' is redundant

17. When he talked about the problems he was having at home I offered him the story, hoping it would open up a new way for Pete and Kaye to be together. -- we know already that she wanted him to be her Dom. So, if she is being honest about Pete and Kaye being together, the 'new way' she had in mind would include her.

18. Did you tell us earlier how Mark treated Kaye? Seemed until this chapter that he extrapolated from the broken promise and the tat. Kaye may have told Pete, but I don't think the readers know.

19. By knowing more about Emily than anyone else of the planet you prove to her she's the most important person, place or thing in your life." 'anyone else **on** the planet.'

20. Beth opts for a large so she doesn't get gaposis. 'Gaposis' sends most of your readers to a dictionary. Is that your intent?

21. The only way they can be sluts if by it being us who demands it. 'is' by or "it's only if we demand it that they can be sluts."

22. When Pete and I are together I am your Master, your husband, you lover and so is he. "your lover'

23. When he looked at some of the items Beth's previous Master had bought I had never used them so I wasn't sure how and why they were used. I called Beth and when she came to us she explained them. 'I realized I had never... she explained.

24. She couldn't do anything except whatever I wanted to do to her. Maybe 'She couldn't do anything except bear whatever I did to her.'

25. I pulled out and she made noises like she tried to talk.'noises that sounded like trying to talk.'

26. At dinner each woman was able to talk about sexuality as long as they talked about someone else of about "Some women." They couldn't talk about their wants, desires or responses, personally. someone else 'or' about 'some women. The couldn't talk about their own wants, desires or responses.

There you have it. Offered in the service of a talented writer.

~ Rusalka

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by kansasjack09/19/12

I forgot

What an awesome story. I was on pins and needles right up to the end. I was so into the story that I had to go back and read Chapter 1 to remember how it all started. Thank you and remember Keep on keeping on ...

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by Anonymous12/08/12

I had to reread part

I had to reread part f the second chapter to get sme things I missed. Great story please write 2009.

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by Anonymous01/31/13

Write 2009 please.

I just finished 2008 and loved it please write 2009. I hope to read many more of your stories..

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by electrician33403/12/13

awesome story cant wait for 2009

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by Anonymous05/16/13

Mark

One thing I think could have been explored is Mark. The man signed Kaye's death warrant with the tattoo yet no more is heard about him. Retribution is required. T

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by Anonymous08/05/13

Damn what a fun read.

Thanks a lot for all your efforts.

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by Anonymous01/07/14

It would be a shame ...

As good as this story is, it would be a shame if there wasn't more.
I hope you continue the story.
While I'm not terribly into the DOM/Sub thing, what attracted me to this story is the love that the characters show to each other. (We need more of that in real life)

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by oldwayne04/30/14

I gave every Chapter 5*****

But enough is enough. Thanks for the tale.

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