All Comments on 'Siblings with Benefits Ch. 01'

Fantastic! I'm still shaking. Look forward to more.

~Sara

FAN-FRICKEN-TASTIC!!!!! Love the story!!!!!

the sexual violence killed the story it is never needed and should be only in the nonconsent or bdsm areas not here

this is a great story. i totally disagree with the person who said that the rough sex spoiled it. i look forward to reading the rest of the series. keep up the good work.

I really enjoyed the rough stuff and the the way the entire thing played out. great work

How Orgasmic.

Awesome. Great sex scene, and I loved the Easter egg analogy. My only complaint is that some of the sentences don't have periods at the end and just continue into the next.

The person who said this belongs in nonconsent isn't very intelligent. First of all, if it was in nonconsent then people would be complaining that it should be in the incest category. Second of all, nonconsent means that one person doesn't want it. Hence the non-consenting.

I started chapter 1, but I stopped because it seemed to get a bit rough. Weeks later I gave it another chance, this story is truly remarkable. Read the story as a story and not for sex and you will enjoy it, (the sex is great don't get me wrong, its not all rough). I'm starting to enjoy the rough stuff too from reading the whole story. Give it a chance before you put the story aside, trust me.

And quite unexpected, which made it even better. You are one sexy bitch in your writing.

- Jayded_Lust

While I think Ch 1 could use a little tweaking, I wouldn't change a thing about the flow or general feel. Very dark, very sexy. I think I'm going to enjoy this series.

and the sex is raw

...a 'light' read.

I like it pretty much.

Especially the interior design of the bedroom. Could be mine except for the Crowley protrait and the depiiction of Dante's.

Well... And the bed annd the other expensive stuff... ;-D

...I am panting! Outstanding beginning!

this gives me a whole new idea of "taboo" and I think I like it. I've seen you around on the boards, but never really read any of your work. I'm glad that I finally have. I'm impressed.

~ABG

Now THAT was hot!

this was an awesome very hot horny story . siblings with benefits ch 1.

i know this is going to get even more erotic as it go's on . well bring it on .

im already for even more of this brilliat story.

Those two seriously have issues. The feeling of safety you mention hits the nail on the head, it would/will? be hard for either of them to trust someone else. Love the mirrors. HOT. Always wanted one over my bead but damn they're heavy!

Damn parentheses, stopped me from giving 5

That has fucking amazing! That is my new fantasy! 5 stars all the way!

Ive read Mark and Megans whole story through. This "first time" plays in my head again and again. So hot!! Reading it again after some time away is as great as the first. Thank you for characters, story depth and lots of hot hot sex!

I too am re-reading this chapter because I noticed it was rated lower than the rest. Can't understand why. This chapter hooked me into the whole series and it's even better the second time.

I was pleasantly surprised by the story. There is rough love, but it is love that is being shown, by an definition that you would choose to call it. Good character development that shows what is going on in the character's mind. I hope to read more of this detail in the future. Sincerely, PB

This is terrific. I hadn't expected such a rapid transformation from angst-ridden to sex-driven, but it worked for me.

Excellent.

'Sorry I never found this little tale before. I'm not into BDSM and such, but this is just a story of NEED. Somehow the mutual and loving violence seems entirely fitting. I'll have to see if lovecraft68 was able to keep it going in remaining chapters.

My deceased wife and I volunteered at an NGO that tried to provide safe havens and access to public services for women and children victims of physical and sexual abuse.

Those pitiful victims of domestic violence left an enduring memory seared into my psyche.

So far in this story the two protagonists, of Megan and Mark are very believable from my experience. Though non of the people we tried to help ever managed to climb out of the pit our Social Darwinist society has cast them.

The author obviously has an outline, a fictional storyline that lc68 intends to unfold for us over the succeeding chapters.

All we can so is follow the clues and enjoy the journey. Or, if not enjoy, at least learn some life lessons from it.

5 stars! Most intense story ever!

Very heavy-handed on details, as if desperate to sell the writer's idea of 'goth' or 'dark' lifestyle and personality. No one uses the term goth to describe underground art scenes, it's only in American high schools where moody teenagers brand themselves as goth. And using 'sis' or 'little bro' instead of nicknames or proper names in incest stories make them unrealistic and again force readers that it's incest they're reading. We're not idiots, we get it the first time Megan stated she was siblings with Mark. No need to rub the fact in. Geez.

Your lack of education and any writing talent is showing ! 1* of course !!

I don't know what their problems are, but I thought it was pretty good. So there might be a few flaws here and there, but so what. The story is there to be enjoyed, not criticized.

I had been a proof-reader for a number of years, and I have seen a LOT worse. I have found typos & other "booboos" from professional authors who should have known better.

This story was written for fun and entertainment so treat it as such, not as if he did it to piss you off. 5*'s in my book. Thanks for a good story.

Grey

Thanks for writing, and great sex scenes.

You are an excellent author, and I've enjoyed several of your stories. So I was quite upset when I couldn't even get through the the character introductions in this one. The "Black Mass" is not only a myth, but a myth that has nothing to do with Goths. While I'm sure there are some Goths who are Satanists, those words are hardly interchangeable. Also, there is no such thing as a "private practice prosecutor." All prosecuting attorneys work for the government, either Federal, State, or Local. While I understand that you are writing for a free website and not being compensated, these are issues that could have been solved with a simple Google search, no arduous research required. I was excited to see that you had such a long running series, and then greatly disappointed when these things kept me from being able to enjoy it.

I really liked the story and the personal touch to the characters but I felt it all came down too suddenly. We didn't even know they had something going on so it was pretty much a surprise. I would have loved to get their first time together but otherwise, it was very well done. Loved the imagery

a private prosecutor. This is not Science Fiction, this in the Incest/Taboo genre. Just because a writer is creating characters, and an environment, it doesn't mean they can create anything they choose. AUTHORS do research for their fiction, and there is a direct correlation between success of authors, and the amount and quality of research done on a book.

The reason is, if a book is accurate in it's details, it is MORE believable, not less. Research is one of the reasons authors get advances from publishing houses; it allows the author to take the time, and bear the expense of traveling the world, if need be to DO research. But, wait, we are in the 21st century, no one truly needs to travel or spend all kinds of money on research, because... they have the Internet!

I have never heard of a "prosecutor in the private sector". Interesting concept, I thought. Two minutes, two effing minutes later, I discovered the story must be set in the 18th century. But, wait, the opening scene is in an airport, oh, that's right, I forgot, it was in 1710 that flight first took place. You know, at Kitty Hawk in North Carolina.

Wait, (but again), in 1719, there WAS no North Carolina.

Here's all you needed to see to realize your misguided decision to make one of your protagonists a private prosecutor in Rhode Island was making YOU look like a poser:

"In colonial America, because of Dutch (and possibly French) practice and the expansion of the office of attorney general, public officials came to dominate the prosecution of crimes. However, privately funded prosecutors constituted a significant element of the state criminal justice system throughout the nineteenth century.

The right to private prosecution in federal cases was removed following the 1981 Supreme Court decision in Leeke v. Timmerman, affirming an earlier decision in Linda R. S. v. Richard D. However, a federal prosecutor may appoint a private attorney to prosecute a case. Elsewhere, private prosecution is governed by state laws...

In 2001, the Rhode Island Supreme Court ruled in Diane S. Cronan ex rel. State v. John J. Cronan that a private citizen could file criminal complaints for misdemeanors. However, prosecution of felonies remains limited to the state. Private prosecutors also cannot seek penalties of greater than one year of incarcera"

Source: (effing) Wikipedia, (not exacting a taxing research task finding something on Wiki effing pedia.

Not sure how those limited capabilities could be the ticket to financial success.

There is one thing worse than a writer who doesn't give a shit about punctuation and grammar. Or a writer who doesn't bother to spell correctly, or use terms correctly, according to their definitions.

Some may argue there isn't, because a writer who doesn't care about either doesn't respect themselves, or the craft.

I contend there IS one thing worse: a lazy writer, because a lazy writer is just as contemptable as either of the these, PLUS they don't give a shit about anything else endemic to the craft.

It's too difficult for me to get beyond the first few paragraphs, and take this as a serious attempt at writing, even for an amateur, but then I read the bio, and see these Lit submissions are the last of their free work. Do you really expect someone will pay you for this level of commitment to your craft? If people do, then the world is a might more effed up, than it seems.

Just read a previous comment from a reader with far too much time on their hands as well as far too much pompous “intellect” shoved up their own ass 😂 This is honestly one of the all time best works I’ve read on Literotica. I’ve come back to this story for years, read it back when we had to wait for updates and have reread on more occasions than I can count simply because the story was so intense, immersive and well written that I laughed, cried and was wet as hell throughout. When a Lit story engages more than just your nether regions it’s a surprise and this story was an amazing surprise so many years ago. F-ing amazing work author!!! I continue to search for a feeling similar to what I experienced when I first found this story and very few authors come close!

Dude, excellent story.

To the pedantic arse: get over yourself. You’re the guy who downloads a free movie and then complains it isn’t good enough. Lecturing an author how to be an author? Uh, what have you written lately?

"but then I read the bio, and see these Lit submissions are the last of their free work."

Someone is a salty bitch that can't read dates. This is one of the author's EARLIER stories you dumbass, there are stories written after this (which was written in 2011) all the way up to 2020. Get the stick out of your ass and enjoy a damn good work of fiction, you overly pompous nincompoop.

In other news, I love this series and am quite glad I be reading it for the third time now.

This is amazing. 5 stars

This could have been a tender love story except for the physical abuse. 😕 I'm sorry, but even if the victim welcomed the abuse because they get a sexual thrill from it, even if it's totally consensual, that doesn't change anything. It is still abuse and it is wrong. One single star

I'm not into this kind of story idea. The Goth, huge tattoos, Satanism, and the rough sex are a big turn off for me. Too dark. I'll pass.

Ok story. Too savage and violent; especially since both had years of abuse.

I think I'll pass on this series.

Don't care for sadomasochism.

A bit dark for my tastes, but very colorful and vivid descriptions. Something I could use a little more of in my writing.

Wow! A fabulous start to what appears to be a fairly long and engaging story. Great backstory and characters. I applaud and appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Excellent! Loved (if that's the right word) how you expressed their dark past in their connection to sadomasochism, witchcraft and devil worship.

I found it amusing but also very sad that people are not only shocked but disgusted when 2 people have been so badly broken that they can only rely on each other and so they do to the point that their relationship becomes if not romantic but sexual... I mean what do they expect? If they weren't brother and sister, it would be 'fine'...

When I wrote a series about a brother and sister, I wanted the background to be what I could imagine would push them together and theirs was a sad history too. Their fucking wasn't as brutal as Mark and Meg's but maybe if I wrote it now, it would be.

Thanks for sharing.

Good job, and thanks for sharing

I noticed that I read this about a year ago, and decided to pass on the rest of the story. Maybe I am in a better mood today. I'm reading on.

I wish that you actually know about punctuation and used it. I know that you wrote this story years ago and won't be polishing this story.

I'm not an editing nag because I can work my way through any story, but you will get better ranking if you could punctuate, making the story flow better and make it easier, more enjoyable, to read.

Again, Good job, and thanks for sharing.

Interesting characters and exciting sex. I can tell this was an earlier work; can't guarantee I'll read the whole series but there's enough spark to smolder on a while.

Not a fan of the satanic stuff…

He seemed to love her in the beginning and the end but was violent during the sexual encounter. Not sure about the effects of the ungodly relationship. This is a long series that will be interesting to follow. Hope you found a proofreader.